Maps
by aKindofGlory
Summary: Leah becomes Jasper's babysitter/possible executioner when he's in too dangerous an emotional state to be trusted. He wants to go to college, she enrolls. A twst of events create a path nevr expected: danger, love, death, destiny...and the spring musical?
1. Beast Within

For those who like to walk on the crack side of pairings this is for you, a Leah/Jasper! How uncannon could it get? Maybe like Bella/Mud Puddle. Leah/Jasper is my new favorite pairing, and it's not so crazy an idea. Their personalities, to me, produce the best kind of romantic story: a lot of conflict and witticism. That line between love and hate. They're also characters who aren't completely revealed, leaving a lot of room to add more dimension to them. Is it going to ever happen in canon, hell no! But can we create our own indie pairing with a passionate if small following, that would be a hell yeah.

Anyways please take it easy on me I did read through it but there could be some errors. I decided I'm going to put two chapters I've written up and then depending on the response I get I'll put up the rest. Whatever opinions on how you think it should go and whatnot are welcome and appreciated. If you don't like the pairing don't read and If you like please review. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor its characters.

* * *

"BITCH!"

I roll my eyes and make a scoffing sound, like I haven't heard that before. I really should just get it tattooed on my forehead. Then when people look at me forehead and say "Bitch?" in disbelief, I can respond "Yeah, get that all the time."

The current person calling me a bitch is Jacob, one of my best friends. One of my only friends, I can't count Seth he's my brother he HAS to like me. When you're a shape shifter bound to protect your tribe and basically any human from vampires, it puts a damper on your social life.

Jacob gives me a look that I know is his meanest, it doesn't scare me. Yeah if Jake wolfs out he's much bigger then me. But I'm faster, and sometimes speed beats strength.

"Look Jacob, I'm sorry I insulted your little freak of nature love okay? I didn't realize criticizing her in any way was heresy. May I go to her, bow and beg for forgiveness?"

My sarcastic speech doesn't amuse him, but I can see his father smiling from behind him. Billy appreciates my spunk more then others, I think I remind him of his wife. She was a sweetheart, but she had a feisty side when you got her angry.

Jacob gets in my face. "You know what? I don't care what you think, no one does," he hisses the spit spraying from his teeth. He then turns on his foot says a quick goodbye to Billy and goes straight out the door, giving it a good slam. I wipe my face to get off the slight spit mist.

I then look at Billy and sigh, putting my hands in the air. "I was only trying to offer an objective point of view. That little half-breed can't go walking around town speaking like she has a PHD when she looks like she's seven."

Billy shakes his head, "Your right Leah minus calling Nessie a little half-breed. It's just that due to your past whenever you offer an sort of criticism of anything it's just seen as…"

"Me being a shrew?" I answer for him. It gets a laugh, but then a serious look follows.

"Leah, your smart, probably the smartest one out of all of them. I know it sucks that even when you try to be diplomatic and even handed with your opinion you still get slammed for being a bitch. But if you're patient and don't lose your temper, then people will listen."

I nod my head to Billy, taking in his words and appreciating them. "Thanks, I'll really try to do that. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow probably."

I get out of there as quickly as possible, barely giving him a chance to say goodbye in return. It's hard when Billy acts so parental towards me. I get reminded of my father. About how he's not here, he should be giving me this advice.

I decide to take a walk through the woods. Most of the pack goes into wolf form when stressed, but I like my human form just fine for decompressing.

I can feel the branches and tree roots underneath my bare feet. I've never liked shoes; the small time I spent at college was hard to deal with sometimes because of it. I had always thought I'd want to be in the city, but the forest always seemed to call to me. Who knows if it was really even me? It was probably just spirits of my ancestors making me want to come home to fulfill this role. The role of protector, guardian, and resident bitch.

The moon is full tonight, but I won't change. I'm not a werewolf. I'm a shape shifter, not as cool a title but more accurate. The blood running through my veins is laced with an ancient power. That's why I can never escape it. It is a part of me.

I start walking home but can't keep my eyes of the moon. I wonder how many others might be watching it, hoping for a change. Not the wolf kind, but the life kind.

Instead of turning into a beast, to leave the beast behind.

* * *

So that is just a small little intro chapter. The juice is in the next! I'm play it loose with the background of Leah's character. We never got a lot on her so I'm trying to add some more to her. If you noticed I had her mention going to college so please don't get annoyed by it. I know she never went, but I'm having her be a grade older then Bella. So, she went and it will play into the story. Again thanks for reading to whoever does!


	2. Entertainment Value

After I got home from my walk in the forest I went home to find that Jacob left a message on my phone. He offered an apology for jumping down my throat, and that he had talked to the vamps about Nessie having to act more like a seven year old in public.

I was feeling pretty good, my fight with Jacob resolved and I was going to a play in in Seattle. I know, hard ass Leah and theater? I used to be really into theatre in general before everything with Sam and being a wolf happened. My mom was going to go with me but she had to do go with Charlie to some cop party. She ventured the idea of me asking Bella to go with me. I almost choked on my wheaties. I don't like vampires with my drama.

Besides, as though Bella would leave Edward's side for that long. I think her record time without sinking into a deep depression is a nanosecond.

I get to the theatre with only a little time before the show. I had a hard time finding something to wear. I really need to go shopping, but that requires a job. My wolf duties make getting one nil. I put on a dress I got a couple months ago. I'd been planning on wearing it for Sam and Emily's wedding, but was told Emily already had a color scheme in mind. Awesome, not only do I have to be the maid of honor in the wedding of my once best friend and one true love, but I have to wear orange.

I walk into the theatre and my nose instantly takes in a sickeningly sweet scent in the air. It's faint, but it's there. I use my wolfy senses to pinpoint where it's coming from. I'm relieved but also pissed to see a Cullen. I'm relieved because if it was another bloodsucker I'd think it was going to attack someone after the show. I'm pissed because the Cullens claim to be hardcore animal blood drinkers, but who knows when they might slip up.

I look at him and try to remember his name. It's hard for me since I usually just call them all singularly and collectively leeches, bloodsuckers, vamps, killers, dracies, rats of the night, the undead, and some other not so appropriate things when angry enough. Oh wait, it's the one called Jasper. Alice's boy toy who sometimes has a Southern accent. He has all the crescent moon scars on him, the fighter.

He has all the normal vampey features, the too pale skin and too good looks. His hair is tousled and honey blonde. He's tall and sinewy. The blue collared shirt he's wearing is rolled up to his elbows. The black slacks he's wearing don't have a crease on them. It makes me realize that my dress could definitely use a good steaming.

I try to not look at him, and hope he doesn't notice me. Damn! I can see from the corner of my eye that he is looking right at me. His nose is sniffing around like something unpleasant is in the air. I realize my stupidity; I'm the unpleasant smell. Those vampire senses and my mangy smell alert him that the enemy is near. He would obviously notice me.

I still try to avoid eye contact; maybe he'll think I don't see him. It's not like we're old buddies or anything, we're just kind of players on the same team. A team I was drafted to unwillingly.

The lights are blinking. Shit, show is about to start. I look around and see no seats, there are a couple right in front of Jasper. Of course he sat near the back and in the corner next to the exit. Just in case he's feeling a little thirsty for the audience, he's going to slip out.

The thought sends an involuntary shiver through me, all the people he could massacre if he lost control. My shiver turns into my fists clenching as I walk to sit in front of him. I can see that there are open seats far away from him, but now I feel like I have to protect the people here. You know, from potential death by blood suckage.

I lock eyes with him but say nothing. I pass the back of his chair and he turns around to give me a confused look but then angry stare. I slip into the seat in front of him, not saying a word.

At first I think he's glaring because I didn't say hi, he's southern so I figure it's just his sense of manners I offended. Then, I remember that he can feel people's emotions. Mine aren't exactly warm and fuzzy towards him right now.

"So, don't trust the blood sucker, had to keep an eye on me?", says a soft southern voice right in my hear.

I feel a rush of adrenaline run through me. I know his head is next to mine, his mouth inches from my neck. I'm relieved I didn't throw my head around in fear. I don't give him the satisfaction of backing away. I'm surprised how much control I have. His teeth in my neck equals instant death, being stubborn can make you brave.

I give a shake my hair to the other side of my head where his face is. I can see his nose curl up, knew the stench would get him. I turn my head to look him in the eyes, his face centimeters from mine.

"Actually blood sucker, I was excited to come to this for over a week now. You being here _sucks _out some of the entertainment value. Now I have to make sure all these innocent people get to their families in one piece."

Jasper does not move an inch from my face, damn vampires and their lack of feeling. My neck is starting to hurt from having it turned like this.

"You really think I'd hurt these people?" He says to me, sounding offended. I start to feel sympathy, but remember what he is.

"You might not want to, but you could. The possibility is there. So, until that possibility isn't there, I will always think the worst of you." I say turning my head back to the stage.

"When will the possibly not be there?" he asks me. I think he's mostly asking himself.

I keep my face towards the stage, the lights turn off and the curtain starts opening. The show is starting now. After a minute or two of the show's beginning I whisper something only a vampire can hear.

"When you're dead."


	3. Goosebumps

Hi! I'm so happy people reviewed and have this on alerts and favorites. Thanks so much! I already had this chapter written up so here it is. I have a couple other ones but I definitely still have more to write. I know the chapters are kind of short but when I write I think of scenes I want in small increments for some reason.

Disclaimer Again: Stephanie Meyer is the owner of the Twilight universe.

* * *

The play went on without a hitch, on stage and in the seat behind me. I hated that I was in front of him. I was in the weaker fighting position. It's kind of hard to pay attention to a play and monitor the vampire sitting behind you. What sucks about being a shape shifter opposed to a vampire is that they don't have to change form. They are lethal 24/7. I'm stronger then the average person, but not as a strong as a vampire. In wolf form we're an even match, but personal bias makes me feel wolves are way better in a fight.

"Please just enjoy the play. I can't concentrate either you know. I can feel what you're feeling, remember?"

God, him again. He can feel what I'm feeling, feel this.

"You're pissed. The usual emotion I feel rolling off you in waves." He whispers his Texan accent peaking through more then I've ever heard.

"I'm sorry to be ruining your play performance. Maybe you should apologize to all these people for putting their lives in anger every second you sit here."

Yeah, I took it there. I know I could be nice, but I can't. Someone has to show some steel against the vamps. He stops talking after that.

I do try to calm down making him feel agitated might lead to bad things. I don't want to instigate a fight with a vampire. I'd be just as bad as them and also Paul. Paul enjoys being a shape shifter just for the violence. I hate Paul, thus I will not be him.

The show continues with no interaction between Jasper and me. I manage to enjoy the play, even with him creepily behind me. The lights come on to signal intermission. I want to get up from my seat to go to the bathroom, but stay planted. I hear a chair behind me snap up, and look behind me to see Jasper leaving through the side exit. I stand up and follow him out. He walks out of the alleyway and onto the sidewalk. I stay only a foot behind him. He can smell me, no reason to try and use ninja stealth.

"So now you're going to stalk me?" he says not even turning around. I keep following him not saying anything. He walks into a coffee shop, with me close behind. I take a seat at a table right near the counter where Jasper stands in line. Is he thinking he can get some caffeinated blood? He could if he sucked anyone's blood here. I know really inappropriate pun. I can see the cashier, a redhead with a pixie cut, giving Jasper bedroom eyes. Is it a rule that anyone who works at a coffee place has to have a nose ring? He ignores her flirtatious "How are you?" with a curt reply of "Fine."

"One coffee?" he says, "No, one cappuccino? No actually a latte. Yes, a small latte."

I stare at him confused. Why is he changing his order over and over? I'm jealous; I want a latte. A coffee and cappuccino are okay, but the latte I would kill for right now. I should get one, but then again maybe he's trying to get me to get one so I have to wait for it then he'll slip out and…you get the picture. Why does he even need a latte? He can't drink it. I soon find out why when he sits across from me and places the latte right under my chin.

"Excuse me?" I say to him, pointing at the latte like it's a grenade.

"I wanted to get you something to perk you up. It must be tiring to watch the play and keep watch on me at the same time."

I smile accidentally, but turn it into a sour expression. Am I really going to accept a latte from the enemy? I decide yes as I sip it down. I drink the freebie without a thank you. Why should I? I didn't ask for it. It should be seen as payment for me protecting the general public.

"So, you used your power to feel what caffeinated drink would peek my interest." I ask, giving in to being if not friendly then civil. Hey, they say to know thy enemy. I might as well get the dirt on his power.

"As soon as I said latte, I could feel your longing. That's a nice dress by the way."

I raise my eyebrows, "Thanks."

"Why the annoyance? You loathe me, but right now you're just feeling annoyance.", he says. He sounded amused when he mentioned I loathed him. He is totally the strange one of the family. A sick sense of humor at least.

I grin a bit, his talent is a nice parlor trick, "Yeah, I got it for Emily's wedding. She said she didn't care what I got at first, as long as it wasn't too bright. But then last week she decides she wants orange as her theme."

He looks at me skeptically, "Orange?"

I nod my head and laugh. Even a vamp knows orange is a horrible color for a wedding. I wonder if he can feel the other emotion I'm feeling, the bitterness towards the wedding. My longing for Sam. My guilt for at times hating Emily. I look up from my latte; he's looking at me knowingly. I focus on the painting hung up behind his head. A meadow full of wildflowers. I try to feel fine. I try to feel as tranquil as that meadow. His gift isn't so much fun anymore.

After I finish the latte he gets up and walks out the door, with me following him. I realize that I'm like a lapdog now. I feel embarrassed by this and know he must feel it. Thankfully he doesn't make the very easy joke. If he did I'd have to punch him, which might hurt me more then him.

When we get back in the theatre through the main entrance, mostly everyone is back in their seats. As we walk over to the left side of the theatre, I can see the seat in front of Jasper is occupied, my seat. We reach the back corner where we're seated, Jasper slips into his seat giving me a look that says "How are you gonna stalk me now loser?." He might not be thinking that exactly, but pretty close. The woman sitting in front of him, the seat stealer, looks like the typical middle aged upper middle class woman. Her burberry perfume and coach purse are clear indicators of this.

"Excuse me?" I say, in a very pleasant voice. "I'm sorry to bother you but you're sitting in my seat." I can see from the corner of my eye Jasper smirk at this polite voice he's never heard from me before. He shouldn't, I don't waste pleasantries on leeches.

The woman stays looking at the stage, not making any move to get out of the seat. "I need to sit here. My bladder is small and I had to hold it the whole time I was sitting in a middle row. I need to have the aisle. The woman sitting next to you was nice enough to give my husband her seat," she says with clear annoyance.

I open my mouth to say something along the lines of "Fuck off." but in a somewhat nicer way, but Jasper grabs my arm. I'm so surprised I don't even try to rip it off.

"You can just sit next to me darlin'. The person sitting there decided they'd rather sit on the other side," he says oozing southern charm all over me and the woman in front of us.

The woman turn around to smile at him, obviously smitten. Jasper winks at her. I try to keep from gagging. He should be on stage he's an actor all right. What does he think this is Gone With The Wind? I snort in disgust, taking my arm from his hand in barely contained rage. I take the seat next to him. At least now if necessary I can kill him easier.

"Don't now why that girl's so pouty…good looking and good acting men like that are hard to find," the woman whispers in front of me to her husband.

She obviously wanted me to hear that, I ignore it. If she knew about the thirst for her blood I'd doubt she would be thinking these things. Then again, look at Bella. Some women just love danger, whether it be a motorcycle gang or a monstrosity of human form. I can still hear her saying how woman these days have no class. I imagine throwing this woman back to her seat in the middle of the theatre. Go away violent image, I'm supposed to be protecting people, not attacking them. No matter how bitchy. Jasper must have heard her, he's smiling slightly. He looks at me apprehensively. He is waiting for me to whig out. It's not going to happen. I feel calm. So completely calm, calmer then I've felt in a long time...

"Jasper, don't do that."

"Don't do what?" He says guiltily.

I roll my eyes, "You're calming me. Stop it. I don't like when your kind uses their abilities on people. It's like you guys think your God."

Jasper nods his head, like I'm a child who can't understand. "We can't help it. At least I know I can't."

I shake my head with a doubtful expression on my face. The play starts up again after a minute. I watch with more attention now that I have Jasper right next to me. His arm is resting right next to mine on the armrest. His arm is freezing, goosebumps are popping up slightly on my arm. I run a very high temperature, so making me feel cold is an accomplishment. I don't know how Bella could have enjoyed touching Edward when she was human. It would be like getting into an ice cube bath for her.

My body temperature's so hot, Jasper would melt. Woah, why am I even thinking of what might happen if we touched? All of a sudden I can't help but think of him touching me in a bathtub. Why did I have to make that metaphor? STOP MIND STOP. Sometimes a thought just enters your mind whether you want it to or not. He's good looking, but the thought of being with him makes my skin crawl. He's dead and necrophilia is not my thing.

I inch my arm closer to me and concentrate on the play. But the chill next to my arm stays just as strong. My mind says to me almost mockingly, "Do you think you could warm him up?"

This is what being single for a long time does to you.


	4. Sand Castles

Heyo! I'm so sorry about the late update. In the future I'll be updating weekly for sure. So yeah next chapter finally here, go on and enjoy the dry snark that is Jasper and Leah. Also, please leave comments! It really encourages me to keep going with this. Since if no one's reviewing it makes me think no one wants to read. Which is strange, who wouldn't want to read about the emotionally intense hotness that is a Leah/Jasper?

I also edited this on March 4th, yeah I was reading through it and I made some changes that arn't huge to the plot but add more to the characters. If you reread it you'll fine some more Leah sarcasm and more insight on both characters.

Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine. Nope. Nay. Never. Not. Nope.

* * *

I'm actually enjoying the show, even with the vamp next to me. The play is somber, about the death of a father and how it affects the family. I've been fine with the subject matter, but now one of the daughters is opening up about her father.

How she never thought he loved her like he would if she was a son. My dad was never even like that, but the pain she felt about her father passing, all the things left unsaid. It makes me feel like my chest is being crushed. So, without warning, tears start coming down my face. There silent at first, but I can feel sobs rising up in my throat. I get up from my seat and walk out the side exit.

I'm in the alleyway of theatre. I feel claustrophobic, the brick alleyway closing in on me. I start hitting the brick wall, with frenzied punches and smacks. The skin on my hands tearing brings a numbing relief. I don't even realize Jasper followed me out here until I feel strong hands grip my shoulders turning me around. In a flash, his hands are holding mine in a bone-crushing grip. I cower a bit from the hold; my fingers feel like their being smashed by a hammer. His face of determined focus turns to one of worry, he lessens his grip extremely.

I'm amazed I'm not transforming. I could kill him, but he stays holding onto my hands, sending waves of calm and peace. I feel like a balloon with the air being let out. I can breathe again. My feet planted back on the ground, and my mind cleared. I see his face look like it's registering something. I want to look away, but I can't. His hands are holding mine firmly. I know he's controlling his strength greatly. If I were plain human, he'd have to treat them like fine china. He lets go after a couple of minutes. I take a step back from him, my hands hanging at my sides with exhaustion.

"You didn't have to do that." I say, wiping my face. This could go down as one of the worst moments of my life. It's on the list with Sam imprinting on Emily, me becoming a wolf she-beast, and the death of my father. Which reminds me: I live a horrible existence.

"Your hand's are hurt, you should let Carlisle look at them," he says, completely ignoring my statement. I appreciate that he's not asking me what's wrong. People always want to ask what's wrong or talk things out. Sometimes people just don't want to talk about it.

"They'll be healed in an hour at least." I say, my eyes on the wall behind him. I refuse to meet his gaze. I had been looking into his eyes the whole time. They burned with intensity, but not the feral kind I've seen when vampires are angry. He was looking straight into me. I feel my least favorite emotion right now, vulnerable. A couple of moments of silence pass, and then I hear the people clapping and leaving the theatre. Damn, missed the end.

"You should have just stayed in the theatre," I say, trying to sound like my confident self. The best way to get over something is to pretend you are. Fake it till you make it.

"I didn't want you to feel like you were being irresponsible leaving me in there," he says with his hands in his pockets.

My eyes focus on them, such a human thing to do. I don't want to think of him that way. I also can't tell if he's being sarcastic. Whatever, I just want to go home.

"I'm going. Try not killing anyone on your drive home." I mutter darkly, turning around to walk out of the alley. The momentary gratitude I felt left as quickly as it came.

Jasper starts walking by my side. His hands are still in his pockets, with thumbs tugging at the belt loops. Stop acting human you're not human I keep thinking. Okay, I'm getting angry with him for no reason. Stop Leah, he risked his life for you. He can put his hands wherever he wants. Well, not wherever he wants. Oh, shut up mind. When you have to hang out with teenage boys all the time your mind starts thinking like one.

"I didn't bring a car. I ran here," he says, reminding me of a little kid bragging about their blue ribbon at field day.

"You ran to Seattle? Good for you. Look's like there might be rain. You should have brought an umbrella." I respond dryly. Why do I care if he ran here? In wolf form I could run here to, and in half his time.

He nods, "Yes I did, mind giving this bloodsucker a ride? I'm feeling too tired for a run and the rain does horrible things to my hair."

After completely humiliating myself I'd rather not. He doesn't need a ride. He can't feel tired, vampires never feel tired. His hair? He does not give a flying fungus factory about his hair. He's using my sense of obligation against me. He knows I don't trust him to run home without being tempted to feed on a human. What a dick.

"Fine, I'm parked down the street," I snap crisply. I try to walk ahead of him, but his long legs easily catch up with me, even without the vampire speed. It must be bad luck to let a vampire in your mini-van. The things I do for the greater good…

When we reach my car he looks at it with an eyebrow raised. It's a white mini-van. It could use a cleaning I admit. It's not a luxury vehicle, but it gets the job done and I bought it from my mom for like five hundred dollars. She sold it to me after she a got a new car. Why didn't she just give it to me free of charge? My family believes in working for things. A weird concept now or days I know.

"Sorry my car doesn't fit Cullen standards." I say sarcastically, getting into the front seat. I bend over to unlock his door, my button panel is broken. My hands feel sore, but I can drive. I was half expecting Jasper to ask to drive because of my hurt hands. It would be the Southern Gentleman thing to do, but who knows how long it's been since he's lived in Texas. He also knows better. My reputation precedes me. Leah Clearwater is not about to let a leech drive her car.

Jasper opens the car door and gracefully sits in my passenger seat, looking more regal then anyone has the right to in a family vehicle. He looks around the van, a smile on his face as he takes in its mediocre splendor.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. It looks like a durable machine," he says, his voice either amused or mocking in tone.

I can never tell whether he's being a sarcastic or not, which is disconcerting since I am fluent in sarcasm. I put up my speaker and turn on my Ipod that's plugged into the stereo. I don't need my own personal leech to settle my emotions. Jazz can do the job just fine, and without nearly breaking my phalanges.

"You like this music? Ella Fitzgerald?" He asks me surprised.

"Yeah, I do. I'm oh so cultured. Problem?"

He laughs pleasantly, "No, nothing. I'm just surprised, not many people still listen to music like this. I really enjoyed the music back then."

That picks my interest. I'm reminded how old he is, he was a soldier In the Civil War I think.

"Oh yeah, forgot how old you are. You fought in the Civil War right?" I ask, letting my curiously get the better of me.

"Yes, I was an officer in the confederate army," he says. Oh, no big deal I fought in the war that nearly destroyed this nation and on the side that wanted to continue to enslave a whole group of people. No biggie, in kindergarten I stepped on people's sandcastles. We all make mistakes.

"So, do you miss slavery then? The Civil Rights movement must have been a bummer for you. I'm sure Martin Luther King Jr's death was a highlight though." I say, now letting my nastiness get the better of me.

He looks at me in disbelief, his face pinched in anger. "It was different then. I was different. How can you judge me so easily? There are people still alive from the times of Jim Crow who have changed their attitudes. I've had over a century. Trust me, skin color was the last thing on my mind when my humanity was taken from me. Have you stayed the same person since you were born?"

I'm not answering the question, and I decide to not press further. I don't buy the "it was different back then" excuse, but maybe I shouldn't have snapped so quickly. I wonder if it's just a nice sounding explanation I'm hearing, or the truth. Then again, why should I care?

A couple of minutes of intense awkwardness pass. I don't feel a need to make conversation. I'd rather he not be here in the first place. He's smelling up my car.

"Do you mind?" he asks me, his hand holding my IPod. I shake my head. I hope he's disappointed by the nonexistence of country on there.

"You like this song? And Rogue Wave?" I say, not believing what I'm hearing for his selection. Vampires and indie rock? It's like crocodiles and ballet.

"Yes I do, blame Nessie. She spends a lot of time on iTunes. She gives people burned CDs all the time. Edwards's trying hard to get her back to loving classical, but she's acting like a rebellious teenager."

I smile, not fighting it. A two year old half girl half vampire, who looks seven and acts like a twenty year old, is burning mixed CD's. Her vamp dad wants her to stick to classical. It's a strange world I live in. Any day now I'll walk into my house and find fairies, the Yeti, and the Easter Bunny playing monopoly.

The ride is now less tense, but we still don't speak. I look at Jasper occasionally with my mirror. He's looking out the window. His yellowish eyes reveal he's deep in thought. The pouring rain outside makes popping sounds on our windows. His hands are resting on his knees, and his posture is perfectly straight. It's unsettling, guys are supposed to slouch. His hand should be resting near his crotch. I feel very aware of the fact that Jasper is a hundred and so years old. I can't imagine living that long. My nineteen years have already been too much life for me.

I'm never going to get the smell of vamp out of the car. I better go to a car wash first thing tomorrow. If any of the pack comes in this car and smells leech there will be questions. Thankfully most of them hate me and try to stay away as much as possible. I'm the Medusa of the Quileute Reservation. I don't feel like ever revealing this event to anyone. Jasper better keep shut too. I don't need it going around I'm a theatre geek who on occasion sheds human tears.

We've finally reached the long dirt road that leads to the Cullen house. Soon, I will be free of the Southern Sucker and can forget this ever happened. My mind is so ready to block out this memory.

"Thanks for the ride Leah. I won't tell anyone about our date."

I don't even get a chance to open my mouth in shock. Jasper jumps out of the car while it's still moving at 40 miles per hour and goes like a blur through the woods. What a showoff, and date? He said it so nonchalant my mind couldn't register it's horribleness. The undead have sick senses of humor. I don't know how they did it during his day, but a latte and near broken bones do not equal a date.

I get home still thinking about Jasper. I've never even said hi to the guy and we just spent the day together. I always thought of him as the strange one of the group, the one with secrets. Carlisle and Esme are the parents. Emmet jokes around a lot. Rosalie is prissy. Edward says deep sensitive things. Bella loves Edward. Alice is perky. Jasper's just quiet. I can't believe I hung out with a leech, but it was every form of involuntary.

I walk through the door of my home and plop myself on the couch, no sign of Seth surprisingly. He's usually here watching cartoons. The boy's sixteen he needs to move on to watching porn in his room or something. Oh crap. I better take a shower; get the smell of leech off me. I get up and walk upstairs to the bathroom. I take off my clothes and hop into the shower. As I turn it on I ponder burning the dress I wore today. I can smell the too sweet smell coming off it from the shower.

I study my hands; only faint lines remain from the gashes and scratches there earlier. I see faint bruises on them too, in the shape of Jasper's long fingers. They'll be gone by tomorrow, along with any recollection of this day hopefully.

After hopping out of the shower and changing into pajamas, I go downstairs to find my mom in the kitchen. She's sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and reading a newspaper. I try hard to look like I had something resembling a normal day.

"How was the play honey?" She asks me, looking very happy. Charlie can be thanked for that. I still can't be thrilled about them though. It just reminds me that my Dad isn't here. My Dad should be the man making her happy, not one of his best friends. He also is the father of the girl, now immortal, who has pissed me off more times than I can count. The one who constantly puts the people I care about in danger. I really don't think we'll be soul sisters anytime soon.

"It was…good. I'm really tired I'm going to go to bed. Night, love you." I say walking over to give her a kiss before heading up to my room. As I get into bed I still can't shake Jasper's weirdness from my mind. I suddenly realize something, why was he alone? Where was Alice? Why didn't I ask him? It didn't even cross my mind. Maybe she's not into theatre. I haven't exactly hung out with him before, but he did seem different today. He talked ten times more then I've ever heard from him. He was sort of friendly. Wait, I'm over thinking things. He was just enjoying playing with my emotions. I'm an emotional person, so for him I'm like a human rubix cube. He won't be playing me ever again. If he tries, he'll become my vampire Mr. Potato Head to rip apart.

I close my eyes and try to force him out of my mind. His smirk teases my thoughts until I finally slip into slumber. I end up having a nightmare where a southern vampire keeps forcing me to drink lattes. He wants my blood to be caffeinated before he sucks me dry.

That's what I get for making inappropriate puns and accepting lattes from confederate soldiers.

* * *

Hope you all liked it. Thanks for reading!


	5. Pleasant Surprise

Here is the fifth chapter, high fives all around! Thanks to all who reviewed! It really meant a lot to me. Just to reiterate, I'm changing some of the cannon of Twilight, not the character's personalities just random backstory things. So, if anything seems incorrect it's just me taking some creative liberties. I might have another chapter up this weekend. It's already written up so we shall see. Hope everyone has a good weekend. And please review lovelies! Por Favor? S'il te plait? Bitte? It makes me want to keep writing and post quicker. (=

Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine.

* * *

"So wait, him and Alice are done? Over? Finito? When did this happen?" I ask Jacob, not even believing such a thing is possible. As soon as I think about Jasper I think about what happened last week. I was getting really good at the whole repression thing, but now it is back on my mind. I guess I was right about something being off with him though. I really didn't want to be. It's just another thing to worry about.

I wonder if Jasper told his family what happened? He better not have. Then again, Edward must know with his invasion of every form of privacy gift. It's really not that big of a deal. We saw a play together, whoop dee doo. We didn't even see it TOGETHER we just happened to both be there. My little episode in the alleyway is my business anyway. I shouldn't even have to be thinking about this!

I'd heard the news from Jacob this morning, via canine communications as I call it. One minute I'm drinking my cup of coffee; the next I'm spitting it out as "Alice left Jasper" is texted to me on my phone by Seth. He's there all the time but it's odd to get gossip from my little brother.

Those vamp couples are supposed to be soul mates. I don't think they can just get a divorce, split their assets, and go their separate ways in the world. They're in the same family, where would one of them go? As soon as I found out I called Jacob and told him to come over. This has to be discussed. Jacob, of course, does not seem to realize that an angry vampire means dangerous vampire.

Jacob shrugs, "Yeah I guess. She had a vision that she was going to meet someone else. She didn't tell anyone thinking she could change her future, but he found her, and she fell in love. She left last week, but met him a month ago. She told them last Monday, and left Thursday."

Jasper went to the play the day after Alice left him? He got over it quick. Then again, with his empathy powers he must have known for a while Alice didn't love him anymore. That must have been torture, not feeling that love all of a sudden.

I lean back on my chair, putting my legs to rest on the kitchen table. "Didn't that happen with Jasper too? That seems like a hell of a lot of true love. Whatever fate is guiding her is fickle as shit. Who's the dude anyway?"

Jacob opens his mouth and closes it, obviously trying to explain something he can't fully grasp. Jacob's not dumb, but he has a very simple way of viewing things sometimes. Sort of like how he wouldn't accept that Bella loved Edward. Yeah, loving a vampire is crazy, but she did. Jacob thought he could convince her to choose him. Not that I'm on the Bella and Edward love of a lifetime train, but the girl obviously would never leave him. Loving a vampire is for that special kind of girl.

A dumb one.

"Bella was telling me that it does make sense. Alice saw her self falling in love with Jasper and followed it. She didn't go with the flow to see if fate would take her there no matter what. This was different. She tried everything to not meet this guy but did. She thinks that Alice and Jasper needed each other for that time, but that Alice has found her real true love. I don't know about the new guy. Bella didn't really reveal the details. I just know Alice left with him to Canada. He's also a vegetarian."

All of this true love, soul mates, and imprinting are giving me a migraine. Why can't people just fall in love be in love and that's it? They say you can't fight who you love, but love suddenly becomes this ugly force no one can control. I guess that's viewing things simply though. And Canada? Enjoy the maple syrup and snowshoes Alice.

I sigh in frustration, "Come on, the Cullen household must be in chaos. I mean, Alice just up and left them. She's a huge part of that family. How could she just leave them like that?"

"Alice didn't really announce it to them," Jacob says. "She just left a note for each of them. I don't know what they said, but most of the family already knew something was up. Her and Jasper have been distant with each other for the past couple months. They're all just trying to live normally, for Nessie's sake."

"Well," I begin, getting out of my chair and resting my hands on the table. "This is something we have to discuss with the Cullens."

"Why?" Jacob asks angrily, his hands forming into fists on the table.

I take a deep breathe, don't snap Leah don't snap. "Jasper is in a bad state right now. He already was the weakest. Alice was his reason for everything. The reason he's a vegetarian. We need to protect people Jacob, one life is too many."

Jacob listened to my speech without interrupting, a good sign. I don't say it out loud, but Jacob has to realize I more then anyone know what heartbreak can do to someone.

He sighs and gets up from his chair. "Your right Leah, as much as I hate to admit it. Let's go get this over with. We'll just go, you and me. The less people the less awkward."

Jacob walks to the door me closely behind, the beta to his alpha. The alpha is supposed to always make the right decision. It's a hard job to fill.

But sometimes, the Beta gets it right for them.

* * *

Jacob doesn't even knock on the door of the Cullen's house, or ring the doorbell. He walks right in with me close behind him. The guy has certainly made himself at home. If I were Edward and Bella I'd tell him to back off. Screw imprinting my Dad would have freaked if Sam just entered our house whenever. It's not that he disliked Sam. He just didn't want Sam to be my only focus in life. My Dad didn't have super human strength or speed, but he inspired a high degree of fear in boys. A shotgun hanging on the coffee table helps.

I look around the immense living room and see the Cullen family hanging around. Edward is at the piano, with Nessie sitting next to him. He takes her little fingers making them hit the keys in a simple melody. Bella sits in an armchair to the side, watching them adoringly. Rosalie and Emmet sit on the couch together, watching a boxing match. I can see Esme and Carlisle in the kitchen, preparing food. They cook for Jacob since he's here every night now, and also Seth the tag along.

I have yet to make an appearance at a Cullen family dinner. I don't care about their big plasma screen or endless supply of snack food. It's a house full of things that want to eat me. Since I've decided to commit myself to being a nicer person, I'll accept any food they offer me as of now. I'm also just really hungry, too bad after this conversation they might try to make me their food. Oh, the irony.

Before Jacob can even say a word, Edward stops playing the piano to give us both a hard look. He sighs, something we're all doing today, and gets off the bench. He picks up Renesmee and sets her on the ground.

Sometimes, when I see how Edward cares for his daughter; I feel this pain in my heart. In large part it's me missing my father. Another small part is me feeling badly for thinking of him as a monster. Then I remember how his very existence on our land made it so my father would have a heart attack. The good feelings then vanish like vapor.

"Go upstairs Nessie, the grownups have to talk, okay?" he says to her, every word saturated with love and care.

She goes upstairs obediently. Edward calls for Esme, Carlisle, and of course Jasper. Where is he anyway?

"What's going on?" Jasper says from behind me. I jump around in surprise. Why does he always do that? He likes to try and freak me out, that's why. Damn, he got me this time.

He has a book in his hand, and from the branch in his hair he was in the woods. My hand wants badly to pick it out. I open my mouth to tell him he's got a little something in his hair, but suddenly he hisses at me. My instincts kick in and I crouch down, ready to go wolf. Jacob grabs me at my elbows and pulls me to him. Edward jumps in front of Jasper to grab him.

"I'm fine! It's him who's losing it!" I yell, elbowing Jacob away from me. I can't believe Jasper freaked out like that. I knew he was unstable. I thought about going for the branch out of instinct. I have a little brother I'm used to nitpicking at his appearance.

Jasper steps away from Edward, but stays glaring at me. "You know what she's thinking. I can feel it. How dare she? She has no idea who I am or what I'm feeling."

I've never heard Jasper raise his voice or lose his cool. It's unsettling. His eyes are bearing holes into mine, but I refuse to look away. I'm not the type to back down from a stink eye contest. He might be the quietest of the group, but when angry he's the scariest. I feel sympathetic for him in a way. I know more about how he feels then he realizes.

"Don't feel sorry for me dog. It was child's play," he snarls at me.

I bite the inside of my cheek, and imagine it's my fist connecting with his face. Obviously, he's saying the love between me and Sam was insignificant compared to what he had with Alice. He's wrong, dead wrong. God, these puns are not even intended.

Edward goes over to Jasper putting a hand on his shoulder. Bella, Emmet, and Rosalie also crowd around him protectively. Rosalie stares at me murderously. I can see my death in her eyes. Really? Try me Blondie.

Carlisle walks in from the kitchen with a worried looking Esme by his side. He goes into the circle putting his hand on Jasper's other shoulder. "I'm sorry Jasper, but we do have to discuss this. Please, just sit down. No one is trying to persecute you. We're your family, we love you son."

Jasper nods his head moving to the couch. He sits down, his hands on his knees his head held low. Bella grabs the remote, turning off the television. They sit on and around the couch. Jacob and I go to stand in front of them. I feel like I'm in an auditorium about to give a lecture.

I look at Jacob. He nods at me, wanting me to speak. I look at Jasper, but he won't make eye contact anymore. I wonder if he told them what happened at the movie theatre, or if he will now to humiliate me as revenge. I push those thoughts and feelings from my mind so neither Edward or him can know them. I take a deep breath and look straight at the Cullens, wanting to come across as not intimidated but respectful.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you guys like this," I say, noting the looks of surprise on their faces at my benign tone, "But we feel as though Jasper is in a weakened state. We don't think he should be going out and about. He's a danger to himself and people."

Jasper gives me a look of contempt, "Really? I'm a danger? What about you mutt? If you get angry you could easily kill ten people while transforming."

I hold back the insults that want to explode from me, "I've never done that before, and it's a different situation. You feel a need to kill. You've been good at fighting it, but now you're in a bad state. I know you all think I'm being paranoid. But human lives, and Jasper's life, are things that we should take caution with."

The Cullens look at each other. They look like they agree with me; none of them have tried to kill me, which is a good sign. At the same time, Jasper might see it as them being disloyal. What if he leaves their family because he thinks they don't really love him? My fault. Great, I'm Leah the vam fam home wrecker.

Jasper looks at his family members, he may not be able to read minds like Edward, but he knows what their feeling. It might pain me to admit that vampires can feel real human emotions, but I know they love him. He must feel it.

"You agree with her. I know you all do. Fine, I'll stay home all day every second of the day. I will never hunt alone. Will that make you all happy? How long will I live as a prisoner before you trust me again? Guilty for a crime not committed."

Edward looks at Jasper sadly, "I could never understand how you feel right now Jasper, and it's not that we think you will kill. But you know I can read your mind, it's a horrible feeling to know someone knows your thoughts, but you know I do."

At that Jasper looks angry but ashamed. I'm assuming he must have been thinking about human blood. He looks up at me, studying me. He's going to tell them. No, no, no…

"Your right. It's not your fault. It's mine." He says, staring at me in a way that borders disgust and self-pity. I breathe an inward sigh of relief. He's not going to humiliate me yet.

"There must be something we can do, I don't want you to miss those classes your taking at Olympic University. You shouldn't be locked up here. What If one of us accompanies you to class everyday?" Esme says reaching across Carlisle's lap to hold Jasper's hand.

I shake my head. "I'm sorry, but two vampires does not equal safe community to me. You guys are his family, if he kills you won't be able to make the tough decision."

"She's right." Bella says, "We might not like it, but she's right. If we want to keep people safe, that won't work."

That's nice, Bella still feels a little loyalty to her prior species. I try hard to not feel anything towards the Cullens, except blind hatred sometimes. But looking at Jasper, remembering that day, he's not so bad. He's not evil, well, not intentionally. Plus, being stuck in this house might make him go crazier. Another risk but I'll be the one to blame.

"I have an idea. I'll go to school with Jasper. We can take the same classes. I'll be his bodyguard, actually, the human population bodyguard but you get what I mean," I say to them, smiling a bit.

I then realize what I just said. Go to college with Jasper? What in the hell has come over me? Jacob gapes at me in shock. The vampires too dignified for such a response just look at me in disbelief.

"No," Jasper says, breaking the chaos of confusion I've caused.

How ungrateful of him. I bite my lip, what I usually do when trying to contain my anger snaps, but remember that if I bite too hard I'll draw blood. Everyone here already hates me, better to not entice them.

"I'm not going to let her be my constant babysitter and possible executioner," he says throwing me another dirty look.

In case I didn't get the point that he detests me. Whatever feelings of amusement I gave him the other day are long gone. I cross my hands over my chest, not saying anything. Here I am being helpful as can be and still getting treated like dirt. Typical.

Carlisle looks at Jasper caringly, "This could be good for you Jasper. You can keep yourself busy. You can learn better self-control. I won't force you or even ask you to do it, but please do think about it."

Jasper sits there for a couple of minutes, looking at the ground. He looks up at me and nods his head, "Fine I'll do it. I'll prove to you I'm not the monster you think I am. I'll show you how dead I can be."

Everyone looks confused at his statement, but I know what he's referring to. They all look at me waiting for a nasty response.

"I don't want you to prove anything. I just want to keep people safe."

Jasper looks disappointed at my calm retort, I know the feeling. Sometimes you want to fight with someone, to take out the frustration. The rest of the family looks pleasantly surprised at my self-control.

"I'll sign you up for classes tonight. We start class Monday; today if you didn't know is Friday. Have a fun weekend, after it you'll be a busy little puppy."

Today if you don't know is Friday? Puppy? Wow, learn the art of the insult General Drac. E. Lee. Yeah, I might need to pick up some lessons to. It's hard to have fresh material about vamps all the time.

Jasper gets up from his seat, and picks up his book from the coffee table. He pats Esme's shoulder, and walks up the stairs not giving me a second look.

"Thank you Leah, you didn't have to offer that." Carlisle says, observing me with newfound curiosity. Yeah, there's more to me then you think Dr. Batty.

Edward laughs bitterly, his arm around Bella protectively. "Don't thank her yet Carlisle. She won't hesitate to kill Jasper if he even looks at a human the wrong way."

It's hard to describe how all the Cullens are looking at me, but its definitely not pleasant surprise anymore.

I don't think I'm getting invited to dinner.


	6. Positive Force

Hey! I'm sorry for the late update, yet again. But I've been way stressed out by mid terms and papers and just busy life things. AND to top it all off my brand new macbook the night before a huge paper was due started having major issues. It's a long story but I had to turn it in to the Applestore today so they can try to fix it. It might take two days, it could take a week. AH! Luckily I'm at home for spring break so I'll have it for school. BUT hopefully (I make no promises) I'll be able to update with two chapters this week to make up for my chronic lateness.

I'm sorry for any grammer/spelling errors. I had emailed myself this chapter right before I went to the apple store, so I could still post it wih my desktop computer at home. But it wouldn't convert the file. I had to rewrite the whole chapter. So please review I've struggled. Haha. I love the reviews, alerts, and favorites I'm getting so I send my love to you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own a defective macbook.

* * *

I left a second or less after Edward's comment, muttering goodbye while bolting out the door. Jacob stayed for dinner after being graciously asked by Rosalie. The beauty and the beast have become friends. This friendship is based on mutual dislike and mutual love. The dislike is each other and the love is Renesmee. Renesmee is the only reason they became friends, minus her and they'd have killed each other by now. If she thought asking him to dinner would make me feel left out she's as air headed as she looks.

I'm walking back home through the woods. The sun is set, but I don't feel scared or rushed to get home. I hate shape shifting, what with it destroying my life and all, but there are some positives. The biggest one is protecting humans from vampires. Then there's the more selfish benefit, I don't feel scared being alone at night. I'm what people have nightmares about, not something to put on the resume but I've got skills.

As I walk through the woods I start thinking about what I just committed myself to. I'm going to go to Olympic with Jasper. There are so many things wrong with this scenario. Let me list them:

A) I might have to take on a vampire by myself. This is no easy feat, especially with Jasper's experience. If I kill him his family will likely want to kill me. If Jasper kills me, my family will kill him. A war between wolf and vamp will erupt no matter who is killed. It's true what they say; a college education does not come cheap.

B) I have to go back to college. I don't exactly feel all happy about going to Olympic when it's not the school I wanted to go to. It will just be a reminder of how I can't have anything I want. Educational institution? Love? Species? That would be no, no, and NO. I'm lucky I can still have my eggs sunny side up in the morning.

C) Did I mention I might have to kill Jasper? Or he'll kill me? Or he'll kill a bunch of people and it will be my fault? I'm under pressure, like that song Vanilla Ice ripped off.

D) It's a one hour ride and then some to Port Angeles what with traffic. Why couldn't he just go to a community college closer to us? The leech thinks he's too good for community college. Maybe he thinks the blood is better at a more accredited institution. I'm sure Princeton Review has a list for that: Sweetest Blood in the Nation Top 25.

E) How awkward is being together all the time going to be? If we don't kill each other over his lust for blood, it will be due to annoying the crap out of each other. I can only make so many vampire jabs. He can only say so many derogatory dog remarks.

F) He's smarter then me. It's immature, but he's going to try and make me feel dumb I know it. It's not fair he doesn't sleep and never feels any discomfort. He can study nonstop and has been doing so for over a century. I can't catch up with that, it is not a level playing field.

G) There has to be more. I'm sure more reasons will come up when I start actually having to endure it.

I really should look into therapy. I am insane. I have practically thrown my life away. I might be depressed, but I'm not suicidal. Maybe, I'm just homicidal.

I was doing so well at getting weird Jasper off of my mind. Now, he will be making permanent residence there. I don't even get a say in the classes we sign up for. Who knows what this guy is interested in? What If we're taking the anatomy of amphibians or something?

I finally break through the woods and into the reservation. The dirt road I walk on is cold, grainy, and familiar to my toes. The reservation is a homey village to the Cullen's creepy manor. I like being back in my territory. I'm excited to just go home and lay in bed. Monday is going to be hell. I have twice faced down small armies of vampires, but I am scared of going to a college. It's because I don't remember how to be normal, how to interact with people who are plain old human. I can only imagine the awkward conversations…

"So, what did you do this weekend?"

"Just sat around mostly, changed into a wolf and chased my little brother around the reservation Saturday. That asshat never squeezes the toothpaste properly. How many times do I have to tell him to squeeze from the back? Idiot. How about you?"

This person will not respond. They will have already run from the room for their lives. Any sort of honesty about my life will get that reaction from people.

I walk up my porch stairs, feeling the weight of the day in my legs with every step. I love my porch. It's small and screened in, a great place to hang out in when the weather's nice. It seems like yesterday me and my family would sit out here together for game nights. My Dad outlawed monopoly. I was a ruthless slumlord, and Seth would always get upset. My Dad said he didn't like "the values of the game." He just hated losing to me. We don't do game nights anymore. It wouldn't be the same anyway. My mom was a mediator and Seth the uncompetitive softie. My Dad and I were the only board game warriors.

I kind of wish I could talk about my Dad with my mom and Seth, but its impossible to get the words out without it tearing us all apart. Maybe, we just need more time. Yeah, time is supposed to heal all wounds. I'm counting down the seconds till all of mine scab over.

I rest my hand on the doorknob, ready to reach sweet sanctuary, but I feel a tap on my back. I know that tap. I turn around and little then a foot in front of me is Sam, just who I was expecting. He is stealthy. I never heard him come up the porch stairs or open the screen door. He looks serious, like usual. I know he's about to go Big Boss Man on me.

"Leah, what's this I hear about you going to Olympic with Jasper?" he says, sounding business like.

I put my hands in my back pocket; they're shaking slightly. I hate being alone with Sam, especially at night on my front porch. It makes me remember nights that can't be remembered for my sanity. Ever since I left his pack a couple months ago, things have been weird. I avoid him and he avoids me. It was a good system till about now.

"Yeah, well, it's not that simple. Did Jacob fill you in?" I answer, trying to look less then interested. I keep myself looking to the side and everywhere but his face.

"He did. I don't think it's a good idea," he states, locking eyes with me after chasing them down.

I allow the eye contact, but raise my eyebrows slightly, challenging him. "Well, what do you think should be done?"

"I don't know," He starts, "Jacob's explanation made sense to me, but putting you in danger nullifies all that logic."

I can hear his frustration, but I could not give less of a shit.

"That's kind of you to worry about my safety, but I'm not a part of your pack anymore, remember? Unless you can give me real bona fide reasons to not do it, then save it. Plus, why talk to me? Alpha Jacob makes the decisions."

Sam looks hurt by my callousness, but tries to smile playfully. "I guess you're right, but I don't think Jacob could make you do anything you don't want to do."

I laugh humorlessly, "Trust me Sam; I don't do anything I want to do."

Sam stares at me, that sadness in his eyes. The sadness he always has when looking at me. As though that will make me feel like he still cares about me. He's sad now, but tonight, he'll be in Emily's arms. I'll be lying in my bed counting the dots on the ceiling.

"I'm sorry Leah. You don't deserve any of this..."

"What do I deserve?" I ask, cutting him off.

He looks at me his mouth open, trying to find the right words to respond with. Good luck with that, Sam.

"Enough Sam, just enough." I say in a small voice I hate, quickly turning around to open the door.

I go into the house, not giving him a backward glance, closing and locking the door behind me. I can see through the peephole that he's still standing there, waiting for the right words to say. Too bad he'll never find them.

I stay watching him, a part of me hoping he'll knock on my door. There is nothing he could say to make me feel better about him and Emily, or my father, or me being a mutant. But, there are words I'd love to hear. Sam saying that his imprint on Emily is gone, that he fought it to be with me. I hate how pathetic I sound.

Sam leaves the porch, walking up the road. He's going home to Emily. I rest my head on the door, barely able to breathe. I can't give in to the sadness, to the part of me that wants to break down and give up. It's not just Sam; it's everything in my life. I don't even have one. I'm just a pawn, another warm body on the battlefield. I take my head off the door and take a deep breathe. Get a grip, Leah. Move on. Grow up. Be strong. Yada Yada Yada.

I switch the lights on in the living room and walk over to the kitchen to do the same. On the fridge I spot a note, my mom telling me that her and Seth are eating dinner at Charlie's. She would have invited me but I wasn't home.

I take the note from the fridge and toss it in the trash under the sink. Thank God I wasn't here, my mom wouldn't have liked when I said no. I'm not about to go eat din din at the Swan household. Bella's not there, but her essence is firmly within those walls. I'm a grudge holder. It comes with being stubborn.

I make myself a sandwich and sit in the living room. I grab the remote from the coffee table and start channel flipping. I settle on Futurama. Please make me laugh comedic cartoon that was way better then The Simpsons.

After watching TV for a mere ten minutes, I'm bothered by my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I take it out and don't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I ask, confused as all hell. It must be a wrong number.

"Hello."

"Who is this?" I say, now a little annoyed. I'd be creeped out in the past, but if there was a murderer waiting to break into my home, I'd laugh in his chainsaw wielding face.

"It's Jasper, obviously," says a voice with a little more Southern infection in it. Oh god, not this asshole.

"Obviously? I don't exactly have you on speed dial," I say, now realizing there's no steady breathing on the other end of the line. Now, I'm a little creeped.

I'm surprised to hear him laugh albeit spitefully, "You're such a positive force you know that? Your tongue is as gentle as a fawn in the spring time."

"I have a furry tongue with pollen coating it?"

"I was being sarcastic," he says agitatedly. I like getting under Jasper's skin, a new enjoyable pastime for me.

"So, why are you calling me?" I ask, turning down the volume on the TV.

"I wanted to give you my number, and tell you to come over around 2:50 PM on Monday. We leave at 3 PM sharp. See you then. Enjoy your Pokemon cartoon."

He hangs up before I can shout that it's Futurama not Pokemon. The way he said "enjoy your Pokemon" makes me want to throw my phone against the wall. I've done it three times within the past year. After the third my mom swore to never buy me another one if it was damaged in a fit of rage. I place my phone on the coffee table. It will live another day.

3 PM sharp? Great, I'm now enlisted in the Jasper Army, made up of a Confederate vampire and Native American wolf girl. I program his number into my phone begrudgingly. His name stands out like a sore Southern thumb in my contacts list. It's mocking me. "Pokemon"...I'll get it him for that. I grab the clicker to turn up the TV volume, and take a big bite of my turkey sandwich. It's time to relax after a day of vampire negotiations, ex love confrontations, and cellular harassment by bloodsucker.

"Leah!"

I spin around the recliner I'm in to the front door, the mother figure is home. Why is she yelling my name, and looking extremely troubled. Did I forget to change the cat litter?

"What's wrong mom? I'm sorry about the cat litter." I say through a mouthful of turkey sandwich. She's going to yell at me for talking with food in my mouth too.

"You? Jasper? Olympic? Explain!" she says, barely able to get the words out. Oh crap, she only talks like this when in her most serious of pissy moods.

"Who told you? SETH!"

Seth appearing guiltily at my mom's side starts to run for his life. What with me throwing my sandwich and then myself at him. We both wait till we're in the woods before we transform. Seth can run, but I'll catch up soon. I've got the fastest wolf legs in town. Eventually I'll have to deal with my mom, and the cat litter. She's going to yell at me about throwing that sandwich too. "Kid's are starving in Africa, Leah! Am I supposed to clean up after you like a maid, Leah?!"

It's going to be a long night at the reservation.

* * *

Olympic is a college I've made up. I'm excited to make my own college, it's like SimCity but literary! Also remember that I'm not going completely canon when it comes to Leah's backstory. And I'm sorry to any Simpsons fans, please don't be mad at me!


	7. Dream On

Here is the mini chapter of "I'm sorry for always being late updating and thanks"! I'll have the next big chapter up Saturday or Sunday. I was just so happy about all the reviews I had to stick to my sorta promise hehe. I'm up to 61 which is just wowza to me. Thank you all so much! A big thanks to all those who like that I'm taking this very slow. I have read and loved many a Leah imprints fic, but I'm more about old fashion falling in love. And since Leah and Jasper are two characters that don't really interact, it would take a while for them to warm up to each other. All right I've speaken my peace. Enjoy the mini chap! I'm sorry for any errors, I didn't check over this as much as I'd like and will most likely be re-editing it in the future.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I got free organic pizza today. Fair trade.

* * *

"Leah, you look very nice today. I packed a late lunch or early dinner for you. I hope you like it. Have fun you two!" Esme exclaims. She is the epitomy of motherly perfection in her stainless steel kitchen. Her caramel colored hair looks like butterscotch toffee. I think this because I would kill for an iced coffee of that flavor. I'm sure she'd blend one up If I asked.

I look down at the brown bag she put into my hands, I'm trying to not look weirded out. The enthusiasm on her face is so genuine. My mind doesn't even come up with any sarcastic reply. The rest of the Cullen family is out hunting. Esme in all her mom glory wanted to be here to see Jasper off to school. It's sweet, but still odd considering the circumstances. The bag in my hands is perfectly folded, with my name written in dark green cursive on the front. I wouldn't be surprised to find that inside the bag she sprinkled rose petals.

"Uh thanks!" I say, nodding my head with an awkward smile. Vampire moms making wolf girls bag lunches? It's a strange world I live in. At least it supplies classy Pepperidge Farm bread. A pack of milano cookies too. Out of all the vamps Esme has what I believe is the greatest power of them all. The power of making fantastic school lunches, seriously this spread looks like heaven.

Jasper gives Esme a somewhat awkward hug and then walks out the door. He has yet say a word to me since I got in here a minute ago. It was Esme who invited me in. He came down from the upstairs and gave my a curt "Good morning." Okay, so he did say a word to me, but only two. I'm sure he only said this minimal greeting because Esme was giving him "I raised you to be polite so you better be" eyes right next to me. Esme saying I looked nice today was such bullcrap. I have my hair pulled into a low ponytail. I'm wearing a pair of jeans with a rip in the knee and a faded red Aerosmith t-shirt that used to be my Dad's. Its shrunk a lot, but still not exactly form fitting. I threw on a grey dickie hoodie to firmly cement my grungy look for the day.

Maybe I really wanted to contrast with Jasper, since he's never going to look anything close to grungy. The usual college student considers dirty denim and ratty t-shirts his wardrobe's bread and butter. Jasper is more yuppie about town. Today he has on a dark blue cashmere sweater and a dark pair of jeans. I wish I could at least he looks stuffy or dorkish, but he looks like a model. His clothes might seem effortless or understated, but I can tell its expensive. Those jeans are definitely J Crew, that is at least ninety bucks worth of denim. He's wearing freaking oxfords. I have on hiking boots. Enough said.

I see from the kitchen that Jasper is slipping on a brown leather jacket in the living room. A leatherer jacket? I was expecting something more classy, like a pea coat or a NorthFace. He looks over at me and nods his head, walking out the door. I follow him and can't ignore the feeling that today is going to be a very long day. I haven't asked him what our schedule is yet. He was supposed to give it to Jacob to give to me over the weekend. I guess he decided he wants me to be surprised. I hate, hate, hate, surprises. My life has been full of them, and they were never good.

I go towards my car parked at the end of the driveway, but Jasper has walked toward the garage. This driveway is so damn long. The Cullen's keep all their fancy automobiles in the garage. Which I appreciate, my mini van would feel super self-conscious if it knew such shiny sleek cars existed. I happen to believe real cars have curves, along with dents, peeled paint, and a weird sounding muffler.

"Hey Jasper!" I yell over to him, "I thought we'd just take my car. I'm opposed to any vehicle leased to an undead."

Jasper ignores me, opening up the parking garage and walking on in. I know this trick. He thinks that ignoring me will drive me crazy, because it will mean my insults aren't getting to him. Oh, two can play that game. I have yet to insult him and will continue to be civil. We will see who is playing who in the battle of who could care less.

I walk over to the garage and find Jasper next to a motorcycle. Yes, that's right, a motorcycle. I'm not really into expensive transportation, but I know this thing is supposed to be impressive. A Ducati from what it says on it, like I care. I walk over to stand next to him, a hand on my hip and my head cocked to the side. The international stance of ticked off girl.

He looks at me expressionless, and grabs a shiny pink helmet from the shelf in front of him. He tosses it at me. I grab it easily, but want to throw it at his face. The shelf is full of different colored helmets, and he gives me the pink one. How funny of him.

"What is this?" I snap, shaking the helmet at him.

He looks at me confused. "That is a motorcycle helmet. It is required by law to be worn when riding a motorcycle. A motorcycle is defined as…"

What a dry wit on this one. He better step up his game if he wants to compete with me.

"Hardy har har," I say slowly, "I meant what are you doing? You can't be serious. We are taking my car, not this crotch rocket of death."

"Do you really I'd get us into an accident? I have super human reflexes. Then again, I know they can really scare women. I'd hate to upset a lady. We'll just take your car," he says with concern, but then his mischievous smirk appears. The kind of smirk only possessed by men who are used to getting what they want. I hate that smirk. I know he's playing me, like I could stand for him to think I'm scared of anything.

I make a sound of annoyance, but walk over to stand next to him and in front of the shelf of helmets.

"Afraid, dream on, not that you even have the ability to. Can I take any helmet?" I ask, not looking his way.

"Yes, you can." he says, sounding amused. "Want me to figure out which one you want? Look at them, pick one in your mind, then tell me to start."

I want to tell him to you know what off, but decide it might be fun to beat him.

"Fine, let's play a round of the Bloodsucker Reads Your Emotion To Figure Out Your Decision Game." I say deadpan. It gets a chuckle out of him.

Jasper stands directly in front of the helmets, reminding me of Vanna White touching the letters on Wheel Of Fortune. If Vanna White could see Jasper with his golden locks, peerless skin, ivory smile, and eyes the color of honey, she'd finally retire.

I stare at the ten or so helmets, and try to not make a decision while looking at one. Instead, I look at each one carefully, and then close my eyes. I imagine them in front of me again and make my decision, the silver one.

"Ready." I say. Jasper starts putting his hand on each helmet. When his hand is on the silver one I try thinking it is hot pink.

After touching each one he goes for a purple one, my second choice, but then quickly grabs the silver one. He walks over to me confidently, "Is this it?"

I grab the helmet from his outstretched hand, "Yes, it is. Good job."

Jasper only smirks at my sullen response, picking a helmet up from the seat of the motorcycle, a red one. The color of blood, it must be a subconscious thing for him. I'd make a joke, but from my small amount of time spent with Jasper he's very hot and cold about joking around. I'd rather not piss him off right before getting on motorcycle with him. I might heal fast but it hurts to be propelled from a motorcycle onto pavement. An experience I'd rather not, even though I could, live through.

He gets onto the bike, looking back at me. "Hop on, Leah. Don't be afraid to hold me tighter at turns. I'd hate for you to fall off."

I give him an "Are you serious" look, since he sounds like he would like me to fall off. I put on the helmet, and flip the mask up. "If I fall off, you'll be coming with me." I flip it down, no more talking from here on out. I got the last word which is always a good feeling.

I climb onto the back of the bike. I slide my arms around his waist and lean my body against him. It's an awkward position to be in with him. As uncomfortable as I may feel I need to control it. I don't need him thinking I'm immature and can't handle being this close to a guy. Then again, riding with a vampire on a motorcycle could be compared to lying with a corpse in a coffin. A corpse wouldn't be as snarky though, or feel as hard. His back is like a stone wall, this ride is not going to be enjoyable.

He starts up the bike and we zoom out onto the street. I bite the inside of my cheek, surprised at how fast he's going. In wolf mode I can go faster, but I'm in control. He's definitely going over the speed limit, but the view is nice. I'm talking about the woodsy scenery, not Jasper. Why would I mean Jasper? All I can see is his helmeted head and his back. The leather jacket he's wearing is nice I'll give him that. The smell he's emitting is in no way enjoyable, this helmet has more then one purpose. It protects my head and my nostrils.

Jasper takes an extremely sharp turn. The bike tips almost all the way on its side but he flips us back up in a millisecond. I feel like throwing up the mac and cheese I ate an hour ago. I grip him tighter, digging my nails into his abdomen. It's a rock, but he gets the message and slows down a bit. I doubt it hurt him much, but he'd better watch it or I'll do something that does. I, unlike him, am human enough to get motion sickness. I don't think there's a more dangerous way to get to school then this.

Vampires and motorcycles. My Dad would have killed me.


	8. Trust Falls

I did it, I'm updating on time! I was having trouble with this chapter yet its my biggest. I was so happy about all the reviews I decided to make it a biggie. Thanks to all those who faithfully review! The next chapters are going to be the hardest to write, so please review to give me the strength! Haha. I'll be replying to all those reviews with comments and questions by the end of this week too. I was a total slacker this spring break. I spent it hanging out with friends and I have a 10 page paper due Tuesday. Arg! Pray for me, and all those who procrastinate. Ill try to updated again by this Sunday.

Disclaimer: Twilight was never and will never be mine.

* * *

I'm actually happy that Jasper psychologically manipulated me onto the motorcycle. First of all because it was fun, once I got past Jasper going way past the speed limit and the death defying turns. Secondly, we didn't have to worry about awkward silence. A conversation can't happen on a motorcycle. You could try, but it would be a lot of screaming and spit flying back to hit you in the face.

Jasper and I got into the Olympic parking lot with all eyes on us, which made me have a feeling of regret. My car would not have caused a lot of attention. An unbelievably handsome guy riding on an expensive motorcycle is noticeable.

We walked into the school without any problems, but all eyes were on Jasper. Guys looked jealous. Since every girl was blatantly staring at him with amazement. If these girls only knew that this perfect human form is just a trap. A rock hard abdominal muscled trap. What? I could feel them through his shirt. It's like the beautifully colored frogs in the Amazon rainforest. Look how pretty that frog is! Oh, you touched it you're dead.

Besides feeling like I was walking around with the prettiest pony at the show, I was impressed by how nice the Olympic Campus is. It's near downtown Port Angeles, but has a beautiful landscape and view of the water. I had considered going here, but instead wanted to get as far away from home (aka Sam) as possible. I chose a school in California, but of course it didn't work out. I wish I'd never gone. The year I spent there is now just a reminder of the life I could have had. A life full of friends, fun, and personal growth.

Instead, here I am sitting next to a vampire taking a theatre class. Yes, a theatre class. Our day started off normal enough; our first class was Modern Russia. The hour flew by; I thought it was really interesting. I took notes, and noticed that even Jasper was. I guess vampires don't come with photographic memories. Hopefully, getting some more college credits will help me move far away from this place sooner.

Our second class was The Earth, a geology class, pure misery in my opinion. I have no idea why Jasper would want to take this. I could barely keep my eyes open I was so bored. Jasper used his ability make me feel more energetic. I poked him with my pencil. It didn't cause him any pain, but a second later my eyes were drooping again.

The day was going fine. We didn't talk to each other, but also didn't fight. Then while waiting outside the auditorium, where our third class was, this huge class exited it. It was like a mob, they crashed into us and we got seperated. It took me ten minutes to find him. I freaked a bit.

* * *

"What the hell Jasper!? How did you lose me? You did that on purpose!" I shouted, appearing to be a crazily possessive girlfriend to those staring at us.

"You're making a scene. You think I planned for that? Do you know how difficult it was for me? That crowd of people pressing against me. Maybe you need to focus more," Jasper agitatedy whispered. He's not that much taller then me, but in his infuriated state he loomed over mer. His hands balled up in fists at his side.

"Get lost like that again, and I will drag your ass straight home, and lock you in the basement," I said through gritted teeth.

He laughed, barely concealed rage in his eyes. "I'd love to see you try that. Don't worry I won't leave your side again. If you want me to hold your hand, just ask. I can't promise you'll still have it at the end of the day."

A smile came to my lips, "You're very funny, Jasper. Here's a joke for you, what did the wolf do to the vampire that tried to kill a human?"

* * *

He didn't answer the question, but it calmed him down. He walked into the auditorium with me several feet behind. It took all my willpower to take the seat right beside him. Even now, I can feel his anger toward me radiating off of him.

We're in our third and final class of the day, a theatre class. I'm thinking Jasper did this as a sick joke to get back at me. You like theatre Leah? Here's theatre class. You can practice your crying. Then again, if he did the joke is on him, because from the look on his face right now he must be suffering. The guy has been around for a hundred and then some years. He's practically seen it all. So experiences like this, although painful, at least give him something new to experience. Horrible, but new.

"You don't know acting! I know acting!" shouts Professor Stevens aka Grand Dame of Acting. She gives each of us a pointed stare, as though challenging us to say otherwise. Her dark purple shawl and golden spectacles remind me of an owl with a cape.

I look back at her with obvious contempt. I pledged to be nicer to the Cullens, not every asshole that comes my way. This woman has been going on for forty minutes about what acting truly is. Fine, teach me how to act, but can I teach you how to not wear lime green and purple together? She looks like Barney.

"You there!"

I straighten up quickly, she's pointing at me. This should be really enjoyable.

"Yes?" I say with annoyance. It's rude to point. She should _act_ like she has manners. Snap, crackle, and I pop.

She comes to stand in front of me; our class has about twenty students in it. She had us set up our chairs in a circle on the stage. All eyes are on me. I stare up at her waiting for the horrid situation that will likely occur.

"So, do you have any acting experience?" she says to me, with a British accent. Whatever, I bet she grew up in Oregon.

"I did some theater at my High School," I say. It's true. The reservation's drama program wasn't the best in an acting education, but I had fun. It was a small but dedicated group. I got the lead a few times. I remember Sam would be in the audience every time with flowers. A bouquet of sunflowers, he always brought those.

"Really? What shows? What parts?"

Stevens's voice of surprise breaks me out of my thoughts. Now, feeling bitter, I put up a hand to count off all the parts I've had. "First, I was fish number seven in Counting Under the Sea. Then I was gingerbread with the purple bowtie in A Very Gingerbread Christmas. After that I was…"

"That's enough," she says, sighing in contempt. Everyone else in the class laughed when I answered her, except Jasper. I guess he's back on that I hate Leah because she might kill me trip. Stevens goes around and asks everyone the same question, giving approving nods to all the students who list leads in plays outside of High School. When Jasper answers none, she still beams the brightest at him.

"Jasper, you must be a natural. I can just feel the creativity coming through you!" she gushes, giving him a once over.

I think she confused creativity with the well defined pecs that can be seen through his thin sweater. Common mistake really. If he took of his shirt she'd say he was capable of winning an Oscar. I'm glad to see Stevens walk to the other side of the circle to speak. Jasper leans over to me, but stays looking at the other side of the room.

"Leah, why didn't you mention your greatest part of all? Pretending to not be a bitter shrew for the past couple weeks," he whispers.

Instead of punching him, I turn my head smiling sweetly. "Jasper, why didn't you tell her about the part you've been playing for a hundred years or so? You know, human. You break character once in a while, a little girl here someone's husband here. Otherwise, bra-vo."

"Do you have something you'd like to say to the class?"

Shit, again. The smile on my face fades instantly. I turn around to see Professor Stevens staring me down. Oh come on, you can't scold a college student. I shake my head, and can see Jasper smirking from the corner of my eye. I wish I could just punch him once, and that he'd feel it.

She raises her eyebrows and puts her hands in the air, like a waiter. "Are you sure? I'd love to hear it. But if not, please keep your flirting for after class."

My stomach drops, flirting? Why whenever a girl and guy are talking in class it's flirting? Also, why is the girl always blamed? How freaking sexist. I want to kick her in the teeth. I am going to lay a rant on her so hard she'll...wait. I don't want to freak out on her. I'm not even mad. I feel calm, peaceful, and serene. Why was I so angry? What an asshole.

I look at Jasper and mouth no. Why does he think he can just calm me like that? He's getting a talking to after class alright, but in no way will it be seen as flirting.

"Okay, everyone stand up and pair up. In acting, trust is essential. If you do not trust your fellow actor on stage, it will show."

I stand up and turn towards Jasper, who turns toward me. I can see every girl in class looking at me jealously. A girl sitting on the other side of Jasper looks at me venomously. She is going to be a problem; her eyes have been on Jasper the whole time we've been here.

"Okay, we're going to do trust falls for the remainder of class. The person you are with now, is who you will be working with throughout this semester. You must learn to trust each other and work together," Stevens says shooting me a glance of confusion. She must find it hard to believe Jasper, the live breathing Adonis, wants to partner up with me.

This is going to be impossible. We are going to have to drop this class. Stevens has two students demonstrate a trust fall. I imagine myself as the person falling, and my head hitting the floor. I don't trust Jasper, and I know he doesn't trust me. Jasper and I are still on the lets not rip each other's throats out part of our relationship. I don't think a vamp could ever gain my trust.

"Begin!"

God, what are we racing greyhounds? The people around us introduce each other, joking around and laughing. Jasper and I stay looking at each other skeptically.

"Let's get this over with, and we are dropping this class." I say to him, putting my arms out. He is going first I've made up my mind on that.

"Why? Aren't you enjoying it?" he says putting his arms out the same way, "Ladies first, even if you barely are one. Your short hair made you unrecognizable from your pack brothers, growing it out hasn't helped much."

"Like I care if something with less life then an earthworm thinks I'm a lady." I mutter. I sounded bored in my reply, but that hurt. I think the same thing all the time. I'm way too tall for a girl. I'm twenty years old and haven't menstruated in a year. I have no female friends to speak of anymore. I don't know what I am. Actually, yeah I do. I'm a freak.

Jasper's face changes from one of callousness to guilt. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm not like that."

I scoff, like he cares. He must have felt my hurt. "Like what, like me?"

He looks at me pensively. "You on your worse days, yes. You just happen to have a lot of them. I can understand. I've had better days myself."

"I don't think this is a good match," Stevens says walking over to us, breaking up the conversation. I'm almost relived. This conversation, no matter how true, is not one I want to have. I don't like having something in common with a vampire.

Stevens puts her hand on her chin. "I don't feel chemistry here. You would be better suited with Amber. Amber come here please!"

The girl who sat on the other side of Jasper comes to stand in between him and Mrs. Stevens. Amber has to be one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. The first thing I notice is her very long and wavy strawberry blonde hair, the kind of hair I can longer have. Her delicately structured face is accompanied by a pair of dark blue eyes. She's slender and looks to be about 5'5. I am envious of girls who are average height, not below or above.

"Hi, I'm Amber," she says coyly, extending her hand to Jasper.

Jasper shakes her hand. I start to get nervous, but he shakes it and puts his hand back at his side. I study his face, wondering if touching her hand was like waving cocaine under a cokehead's nostrils. The feel of her pulse, and the blood running through her veins must have affected him.

"I'm Jasper, pleasure to meet you." he says, letting go of her hand. Amber looks disappointed by Jasper's tone. He didn't use the same alluring drawl he did with Professor Stevens.

Jasper looks fine, but I still feel tense. He looks over at me, brows furrowed. He feels my doubt. He looks back at Amber's smiling face and gives her no sign of enthusiasm.

Professor Stevens smiled at Jasper and Amber's interaction, not noticing the unhappiness on Jasper's face. I decide to make my presence known again.

"I'm Leah, nice to meet you Amber." I say cheerily, offering my hand to her. She takes it, but her friendly smile is fake. She wants Jasper for herself, and sees me as competition. I don't get it. Yeah, he's good looking, but she doesn't even know him. He could be a total creep. He is a creep, because he's creepy. The creepiness being he's a vampire that wants to suck people's blood. Nuff said.

Mrs. Stevens turns toward Jasper and Amber, now ignoring me completely. "Amber is one of my star pupils; she was a lead in last semester's show. I think she can teach you a lot Jasper."

I roll my eyes, and look over at Jasper who surprisingly enough gives me an amused look. His amusement must come from the hero worship he's getting, compared to my resident leper treatment. These ditzes can go on all night, Jasper is going to be my partner. It is one of our conditions. He cannot leave my side, even for something this ridiculous.

"Don't worry Mrs. Stevens. Leah and I have chemistry. You'll see." Jasper says, looking at her in a way that would make most women melt like a puddle into their shoes.

Stevens nods, and giggles like a school girl. "Very well Jasper. It is your decision, but try to stop by my office often. I really think you have the soul of a thespian. I would hate for your talent to not be nourished because of certain harsh elements."

Stevens just got a heavy dose of agreeability a la Jasper. Soul of a thespian? Nourished? Harsh elements? I think I'm the harsh elements, and it is the only thing she's right about. Since the only talent Jasper has is killing people. I'll harsh that anytime. It is amazing to me how shallow Professor Stevens. Jasper's barely said four sentences to her and she's eating out of his hand. Yeah, I know, he used his power on her, but the good looks alone had her hooked since she saw him.

Amber pouts as Professor Stevens walks away, but turns it into a coy smile when she looks up at Jasper.

"Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping to work with you. I feel chemistry. I'm sure we'll work together in the future." she says, now giving me an undertanding of the term "bedroom eyes."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but Stevens announces we have to start doing the exercise. Amber turns around, flipping her long tresses to the side as she walks back to her partner. Her partner is good looking, scruffy but cute. He looks slightly troubled. I'm betting it's because Amber was ready to ditch him for Jasper. He's getting what he deserves, a girl like that is only out for herself. She didn't even give me a second look. I feel like a slug.

I stick my tongue out at her retreating back, and then look back at Jasper. "Hey, Mr. Popularity, want to fall first? I'm sure if I don't catch you every other girl, and probably a few guys, will dive over to save you."

Jasper laughs, "Everything popular is wrong. That was very mature by the way. Is that how you make friends?"

I make an impressed whistle, "An Oscar Wilde quote. Aren't you just the perfect specimen of beauty and brains? Why would I want to be friends with that? That girl is a cheap trick."

"You're right. Amber is conniving, but she does feel insecurity. Her looks matter a lot to her, probably because they mean a lot to other people."

I roll my eyes, "Oh, the plight of pretty people. Boo freaking Hoo. What is making her insecure? The fact that you're prettier then her. You're prettier then most people she'll get over it."

"No," he says, looking at me like I'm an idiot. "You make her feel insecure."

I burst out laughing, but stop when I realize he's being serious. "I seriously doubt that. Are you going to fall or not?"

"Fine, I'll go first." he says, his hands crossing over his chest.

"Okay, good to go?" I say, putting my arms straight out. I see other people going lower, but I don't have anything to prove.

"Yes."

"Read to fall?"

"Yes."

"Countdown: 1-2-3."

Jasper falls, his back lands in my arms easily. I have above average strength, and he's lean, so it's not physically demanding.

"You caught me." he says, still laying on my arms.

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask, although I know it is a dumb question.

"You don't like me," he states simply.

I open my mouth, but can't think of anything to say, but see other people in class looking at me strangely. I shouldn't be strong enough to hold him easily for this long. I lift him up a bit with my hands. He gets the message and stands up.

Jasper puts his arms out, "Your turn."

I look at my watch. "I think class is almost over."

Jasper puts his arms down, shaking his head. "You think I won't catch you."

"No, I think this is a dumb activity. What does this have to do with trust?"

Jasper stares at me thoughtfully, "You and I may not feel physical pain like normal people, but for someone to let you fall, means they can't be trusted. I think you know what that feels like, to be let go and hit rock bottom. I know I do."

I sigh and turn around. Fine, I'll do it, just to make him shut up. I really don't want to start talking about our feelings. He tried this earlier and I was saved by Stevens. Now, I'll be saved her dumb ass exercise. I cross my arms, and close my eyes. My heart actually starts to quicken. I'm nervous, but why? Even if he doesn't catch me it won't hurt. It would be embarassing for him to not catch me, but I don't care what people think.

"Ready?" Jasper says reassuringly. He must feel my nervousness.

"Yes." I say, but my mind keeps shouting NO. I don't want him to feel my fear. I can't let my knees buckle. I need to let myself fall. No, no, no...

"Countdown: 1, 2, 3."

I bury my conscious self deep within my mind, rock back on my heels and fall for what feels like forever. I hit Jasper's strong arms; his fingers cup my arm softly. I open my eyes and see that I'm only inches from the ground. Jasper squatted to the floor to catch me.

He lifts me up like a fork lift and straightens me out. He's smirking.

"What is wrong with you?" I say angrily. "Why in the hell would you do it that low?"

Jasper stays smirking, "I didn't think you'd actually fall, and come on you know I'd catch you."

I want to say something mean, but he's right. If he wanted to catch me, there's no way he could not.

"Sorry, for freaking out. I just was kind of shocked." I say, looking around the room.

"It's okay. You have a problem with trust, understandable."

"You know what, don't talk about me like that."

He looks honestly confused, "Like what?"

I put my hands in my pocket. "You act like you know me, and have me figured out. You don't"

"You're right, I don't know you completely," he says, the smirk now gone. "So, can you admit you don't really know me then?"

I want to say something along the lines of "You're a vampire that's all I need to know." but Amber creeps up like a centipede next to Jasper.

"I say your trust fall. You are really strong." she says, touching his biceps lightly with her finger tips. What the hell? I'm not an Old Nana or anything but she's coming on way too strong. Then again, how much flirting have I done in my life? I was with Sam for three years, since I was fourteen. Then I become a harpy, not a lot of room for dating.

"He's okay." I mutter, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward me. I really don't need girls throwing themselves at Jasper. They might be annoying, but they don't deserve to die. Jasper lets me pull him over, and smirks. Oh no, he is up to something.

Jasper's arm goes around my shoulders. I stiffen instantly, but then feel relaxed. I realize he's calming me, and also why he's doing it. The look on Amber's face is priceless: shocked and dismayed.

"Oh, you two are together? How long?" Amber asks, her confident composure slipping.

I look at Jasper. I'm at a loss for words, a rare occurence for me.

"Yes, we are." Jasper says finally, "We lived in the same town for years, but didn't meet till a couple months ago. Once we met though, it was love at first sight."

I have to try hard to not laugh. Jasper sounds like Edward, like a lovesick dink. He turns to me and smiles with his teeth, I smile back.

The smile on my face hurts its so wide. "Yup, definitely love at first sight."

Amber looks at us like we're two little koala bears. "That is so sweet. You two seem so different. Definitely opposites attract. Jasper, you are classic, just your style and looks. Leah, you're unique and exotic."

Unique and exotic? Unique meaning I'm strange. Exotic meaning I'm not really pretty but I do have a different look to me. This different look being I'm brown. I can't stand being called exotic. I wouldn't be as offended if Amber wasn't so obviously giving me a backhanded compliment.

"All right class, everyone can leave. Remember auditions for the Spring Musical are in two weeks. Make sure you sign up by next Friday!"

Professor Stevens's announcement keeps me from responding to Amber's bitchy comment.

"Bye Amber. See you Wednesday." I say coolly. Jasper grabs my backpack, and we start walking off the stage.

"Bye Leah! Bye Jasper!" Amber calls to us, now standing next to Professor Stevens. What a brown noser.

Jasper gives Amber a wave, but says nothing. I won't lie. It feels nice in that bitter way to see snobs like Amber get dissed.

When we get out of the auditorium, we both start laughing.

"You are a terrible liar, Leah." Jasper says. My back pack sitting on his shoulders and looking way out place on him.

"What can I say? I'm an honest person." I respond.

Jasper laughs again, "That even sounded untrue."

I open the door to outside and hold it open for him, "Whatever. At least now Amber along with every other girl who goes here might not jump you."

"I can use my ability to dull their interests, but it can become a real chore."

"Oh yeah, I can understand that feeling," I say, noticing all the girls staring at Jasper. Girls standing by their cars. Girls walking to the building. Girls sitting on benches around the building. Girls, Girls, Girls everywhere staring at him.

We reach the motorcycle. Jasper hands me my backpack, but stays standing in front of me. I just want to get on this motorcycle and be brought home.

"When I said Amber was insecure, that was the truth. She sees you as competition."

"Maybe, for your affections. The girl wants you bad."

Jasper shakes his head, "Not just that. I saw how she looked at you. You're her competition in looks. She felt envious and insecure."

"You're not a mind reader, Jasper. A person's feelings can be interpreted anyway."

He grabs my silver helmet and passes it to me, "True, but after a hundred and then some years on this Earth, I like to think I have the human mind figured out."

I take the helmet. "That sounds somewhat if not completely arrogant."

"It's not cocky if it's the truth," he says getting on the motorcycle and putting on his helmet.

I throw my leg over the bike and sit. I try to not feel awkward when I inch down to put my thighs between him. "Muhammad Ali? I wouldn't take you for a boxing fan."

"Why?"

"Seems a little undignified for a Cullen." I say with my best posh accent.

Jasper kicks the flip stand away and revs the motorcycle. "Boxing is like ballet, except the dancers hit each other."

My laugh is muffled by the face guard. Jasper has a sense of humor, who knew? It's offbeat, but he's definitely less pompous then Edward.

Jasper flips his face guard down and drives us out of the parking lot. The helmet's mask makes everything dark, but I can still see the stares of girls as we drive out of the parking lot and around the campus.

I'm positive these girls would go a match with me to get Jasper for themselves. They don't realize that Jasper isn't a prize, but a death sentence.

* * *

The garage was open, allowing Jasper to drive right in. My mini-van is no longer in the driveway. Seth texted me earlier asking me If he could borrow it. He has the spare key, and I don't mind walking home. I enjoy a long walk, less time spent sitting around the house doing nothing. When I told Jasper this while I was eating the meal Esme prepared for me at a picnic table. I could tell he wanted to say he'd drop me off. He can't, no vampires on the reservation. We get to go into their territory, but they can't set foot in ours.

"So, we have to get our story straight." Jasper says, placing his helmet on the shelf. He puts his hand out towards me. I take mine off and give it to him.

I run a hand through my hair, it is a mess. "Okay...we met at LaPush beach in November. We've been inseparable ever since."

Jasper nods, "Okay, sounds good, but they might ask why we started school in the spring."

This one won't be hard for me, since it is partially true. "I can say because of family issues. You can say that you went to Europe or something."

I start walking out of the garage. Jasper walks beside me his hands in his pockets.

"Alright, the story is set," he says. "I'm sorry you have to lie."

"Why are you sorry?" I ask, puzzled. It rained yesterday; my feet are sinking into the mud. These pants are going to get all dirty.

"You live here. Your life is here. I'll move from here eventually. Any lies you tell might come back to get you."

"It's not that big of a lie. Technically, I didn't go to school last year because of family issues. You being my boyfriend isn't that big of a deal. People break up. Plus, I don't think I'll be sticking around here for a long time."

Jasper stops walking, "What do you mean?"

I stop to, realizing that we're in the woods now. We're nearing the boundary line.

It's not really any of his business, but I decide it would be nice to tell someone my future plans. "I want to go to school far away again. I want to settle down somewhere else, leave all this bullshit behind."

He looks up at the sky, big storm clouds moving in. "What about your family?"

"I'll still visit them. I just...want my own life." There is so much more I can say, but I can't find the words.

Jasper smiles sadly. "I know that feeling. It's been a century and then some, but I remember."

He looks older to me now; his golden eyes hold more then I've seen before. I usually just see vampire eyes as ways to tell danger level. In his eyes, I can finally see his age. What his perfect unchanging skin won't show.

"I can barely remember what I ate for lunch last week." I say jokingly, trying to lighten the now dark mood.

Jasper laughs, but it doesn't meet his eyes. "You remember how you feel in certain periods of your life. No matter how long. I was only seventeen when I went into the army. I wanted to get away from my home."

"What was wrong with home?"

He looks away from me. "Home was...difficult for me. I wouldn't have wanted to visit, ever."

I can tell the discussion is over, by the finality in his tone and the rain drops now falling on our heads.

"Okay, so three tomorrow?" I ask awkwardly, ready to run home and forget this conversation ever happened.

Jasper, lost in thought, finally nods to me. "Yes, three. We have the Earth lab and African American poetry. Can you wait here a minute? I forgot to give you your books."

It's starting to rain, but I nod my head. The Cullens are outfitting the whole college cost for me. I'm excited for the books. They are going to be all brand new. College books cost a pretty penny. I bought mine freshmen year used. It's the same stuff either way, but I love that new book smell.

At super vampire speed Jasper is quickly back in front of me, with a backpack and an umbrella.

"I'm sorry I can't bring these to your door," he says apologetically. "Here's an umbrella too. It's about to pour."

"Thanks. See you tomorrow." I reply, taking the umbrella to open it first. I then take the backpack. I don't know why he's sorry. I have some super strength of my own. A century doesn't take away Southern gentleman etiquette apparently.

Jasper walks back to his home, and I start walking towards mine. The forest is dark, wet, and cold. The rain starts pouring after a couple of minutes of walking. I wonder if Esme hit Jasper with the umbrella when he went inside. I can imagine her saying he better bring it to me. It is a nice big umbrella, a dark wooden handle and dark black canopy. Everything the Cullens own looks expensive, even a freaking umbrella.

I get home in a relatively dry state. I walk in and can see my mom and Seth having dinner in the kitchen. I take off my boots and put the umbrella by the door.

"Hey," I say, walking into the kitchen. My mom and Seth look up at me happily. They are a different species then me, truly. They both are made of sunshine and dreams. I, however, am like the Grinch who fell in WhoVille.

"How was your day?" my mom asks me as I serve myself.

I sit down at the table, "It was good. The classes are interesting."

"How was Jasper?" Seth asks me. He loves the vamps, and is probably making sure I treated him nicely.

"He was fine."

Seth looks unhappy at my short reply, but this isn't really a normal day at school. My mom nearly killed me when she first found out about this set up. It wasn't till Jacob came over and talked to her that she calmed down. I understand her concern, but being a guardian means protecting the people. My mom, unlike me, trusts the leeches. Yet me actually guarding one brings the fight a little to close to home. As though it wasn't already sleeping on our couch.

We talk about my classes a bit, but I scarf my food down quickly. I put my dishes in the dishwasher and say goodnight to them both. I walk upstairs and go into my room, closing the door behind me. I change into my pajamas and slip into bed, so ready to sleep, until I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in Seth." I say annoyed. I recognize his knock immediately.

He walks in with the two backpacks, "I thought you might need these."

He sets them down, but doesn't leave the room.

I sigh, "What's up, Seth?"

"So, nothing bad happened today? You were fine? Jasper was fine?"

I sit up in bed, "Jasper and I didn't almost kill each other or come close to it if that is what you mean. It was an uneventful day."

"Okay," he says, sounding relieved. "I just wanted to make sure you felt okay about this still."

"I'm fine, Seth. Thanks for caring. Now, please, let me sleep."

He walks out my door, holding it before he closes it. "Goodnight Leah, love you."

"Love you too Seth. Goodnight." I say, right before he closes the door.

I bury my head in my pillow, and feel lucky. Yeah, there are a lot of things wrong with my life, but I have some great things. I have a brother and mom who love me. There are plenty of people who don't have that. I have a home that I can always go to.

The thought of home reminds me of what Jasper said, how he wanted to escape home. He said he didn't have family he wanted to visit. My curiosity makes me wonder, but why does it matter? It was over a century ago, like it still matters to him.

Obviously, it does my mind tells me. Why else would he have been so affected by it? He was right about something; you always remember how you felt. I'll never forget how I felt about some events in my life. I might forget what I was wearing, or what I ate that day, but the feelings are clear. In the end, isn't life all about feelings? How you feel, and made others feel. This thought stays with me as I try to go to sleep.

If life is all about how you feel, and how you make others feel...what kind of life am I living?

* * *

Thanks again for reading! Sorry for any errors, when writing a chapter this big it gets a little tedious to keep reading it over and over. I re-edit all my chapters after a couple days away from them. I just need a break from them haha. Have a good week everyone!


	9. Wildcards

I know I know I know another late update! Please believe me when I tell you its been a hellish two weeks. My macbook broke AGAIN. Last Tuesday I'm finishing up an 8 page paper due Thursday and my macbook shuts off and won't turn on. I was flipping my shit. The apple store ended up just giving me a new macbook. So I'm not going to destroy the Apple company like I was planning haha.

But here is another chapter, not as long as the last, but longer then most of them. Please review folks. The chapters are only getting harder to write and I totally deserve it after what Iv been through....just kidding! But no seriously 8 PAGE PAPER HAD TO BE REWRITTEN. That is supreme balls. I'm sorry for any mistakes I really wanted to get this chapter out and I'll be re-editing it within the next week.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I own a brand new macbook. My other one was only two months old so its not as exciting as it should be. Also, thanks to the Brave Little Toaster I find myself feeling bad for my old macbook. Inanimate objects have feelings to me. Damn toaster.

* * *

"Can you yell me why we are taking this earth class again?" I say to Jasper, looking through the textbook for the class with hatred. "I love African American poetry and Modern Russia. Theatre class is getting better, since that TA who took over this week is cool. But this class is hell."

Jasper and I are in the library. Our Modern Russia class was cancelled, but we came in an hour early. Jasper texted me saying he wanted to come early to study for geology. Yes, I know, a vampire sending a text message. We're going to have a pop quiz today. Jasper knows this because our teacher feels a certain way when he's going to give us one next class. I think the word he used to describe this feeling was devilish.

Jasper's eyes don't leave the page of his Earth book. "Science is a field that is always changing. It's more exciting for me then reading Dostoevsky over and over."

I rest my chin in my hand, "You're more a lover of knowledge then I."

"People have their different interests. You have to take a science anyway. At least taking it with me, you have your own personal tutor," Jasper says, sounding less then enthused about helping me.

My head slumps onto my arm that is lying on the desk. I'm fine in all the other classes, but this one I'm not doing so hot. After only two weeks of classes I feel wrecked. To go from a way long time of sitting around doing nothing, to high-speed academia, is no easy transition. I know Jasper helping me study is a good thing. He could sound less pained about doing it though.

I feel a finger poke my head, a cool finger. "Hey, I can't help you study if you're sleeping."

A part of me wants to rip his finger off, but it's a small part. After the first day of classes, and thinking thoroughly about my life, I'm really trying to stick to being a nicer Leah. A nicer Leah is still cynical, critical, and sarcastic, but she doesn't go out of her way to shit on people. This Leah also lets things, like a vampire poking her head, slide past her usual reaction of either A. Violence or B. Verbal Abuse.

I put my head up enough to look at him angrily. "I'm tired." I say, with my voice muffled by my arm.

"Want a shot of natural energy?" Jasper offers, as he's done every day we've had class for the past two weeks.

I sit up and bite my lip. It feels like cheating, but people are allowed to drink coffee aren't they?

I sigh, finally giving in. "Sure, why not. I want to get an A in this class, so energize me."

Jasper looks up from the book at me. His eyes are bright gold; he makes sure to feed on animals even more regularly. I feel myself getting more awake and focused. I look down at the page but still can't will myself to read it.

"Seth told me you were having trouble studying for geology. I made you these," Jasper says, throwing an elastic held deck of index cards at me.

I take the elastic off and look through them, all of the different terms we're learning in geology. His handwriting isn't the perfect cursive I would have assumed. It's nice handwriting, but nothing fancy. Seth and his big mouth, all of the vamps must think I'm an idiot.

Jasper starts rambling on about what the color-coding means and the strategy to using them. I start laughing, and have to bite the knuckle of my index finger to stop. I'm in a library after all.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asks, insulted.

I manage to stop laughing. "You making me flash cards. You don't find that a little comical? Vampire making wolf girl flashcards? These must have taken a while."

Jasper shrugs, "I have a lot of time on my hands. I really enjoy learning, and teaching. It wasn't a hassle."

I go through the cards and start reading them to myself. These past two weeks have been pretty uneventful. Most of our classes have us just sitting around listening to lectures. Theatre class has been interesting. Amber still tries desperately to flirt with Jasper, but he's been ignoring her like she's the plague. Mrs. Stevens inadvertently helped the first week by not shutting her mouth. We all just had to sit there and watch her talk. She still gave Jasper the lusty eye, but he gives her feelings of forgetfulness when she tries to come his way.

This week Mrs. Stevens had to go to some conference for drama teachers. So, her TA who had just been standing in the corner quietly for the first week took over. It's been, dare I say it, fun. Mostly because I get to watch Jasper do ridiculous things. For example: The whole class had to get in a circle and do robot noises. The look on Jasper's face when attempting to do robot movements and a low pitched clicking noise was priceless.

Jasper must have thought the acting class would push my patience, but little did he know I've done stuff like that before. I also don't have the same sense of shame that others do. It's hard to be embarrassed when you honestly could care less what people think of you. Hello? I've been purposefully antagonizing people for the past year or so. I typically enjoy when others don't like me. Mrs. Stevens is back today. I can only imagine what horror awaits us.

"Hand me the cards. I'm going to start quizzing you."

I give Jasper the cards. I hope I know the answers to most of these questions. I don't want to hear Jasper say the words "You're wrong" over and over, especially with his now near constant expression of apathy. His snarkyness that I was getting used to last week has lessened greatly. I know I should be glad. He was getting way too chatty about our broken hearts and whatnot. I miss the dry sense of humor though.

"So, what type of fault is the San Andreas Fault?" Jasper asks, the answer facing him on the card.

"I know this. A transform fault."

"Yes. What are the three main rock types?"

Oh, we're going rapid fire with this. "They are sedimentary, igneous, and…I know this! Brain cramp. Metamorphic!"

"Good," he says putting down the second card. "But try to be quieter. The librarian is getting annoyed."

I look around but can't find the librarian. He's got an emotional range, and I'm not talking about his acting abilities. Zing.

Jasper puts up the next card and opens his mouth to speak, but before he can two small hands find there way on his shoulders. Everyone run for his or her lives. It's Amber.

He stiffens and looks up, an annoyed look on his face. Amber meets his eyes but keeps smiling. Someone needs to look up denial in the dictionary.

"Hi guys, oh how cute! You two are studying together?" Amber says in a low voice. She's wearing black leggings, a tie-dye shirt, and Uggs. Her long blonde hair falls in loose waves down to her butt. How hippie chic of her.

Amber must be under the assumption that every person wants to be her friend. Jasper and mine's unwillingness must be inexplicable to her. Then again, if I'm thinking as Jasper's girlfriend then it's obvious why we don't try to talk to her. I'm a way jealous girlfriend who does want her beau chilling with a girl that pretty.

"Yeah, we're studying." I say with very apparent fake enthusiasm. I give her hands, still resting on his shoulders, a scathing look.

Amber keeps her hands there, the look in her eyes saying "Intimidated? You should be." She slowly takes them off but takes the seat next to Jasper. She leans over to Jasper's side of the desk to examine the flashcards he has laying there. She picks them up.

"Ow!" Amber says, dropping the cards down, a small trace of blood now on her ring finger. "This paper is so thick I've never bled from a paper cut before."

For an instant the world seems to stop. Jasper's face is unreadable, but then I see him shoot a glance at Amber. It looks like hunger. I reach over the table and grab his hand.

"Come on, baby. I wanted to get something to eat before class." I say in a rush. "Come on."

I get up and give his hand a tug. He stops looking at Amber and gets up, gathering our books in his other arm.

"See you Amber." I mutter, not giving her a look. I hold his hand as tight as I can, and move quickly towards the exit I see near us. I think it leads to the back of the library. I need to get him away from people.

"Oh, okay. See you in class!" Amber calls to us cheerily. I'm sure she thinks she's finally got Jasper under her spell from the way he was looking at her. That look of longing was completely misinterpreted.

I'm playing my girlfriend part well. When I dragged off Jasper it just looked like I was jealous. I get us outside and am relieved to see where alone behind the library. No person in sight. Jasper's face doesn't look feral or angry, a good sign. I keep my hand on Jaspers, but lessen the hold. I notice that he's shaking, like he's having a spasm. The books under his arm fall to the ground. I take my hands and put them on his arms to hold him steady. He starts breathing in and out loudly. Vampires don't need to breathe, but they can get the smell of blood out of their nostrils. He stops shaking after a while and looks at me. He seems fine.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Why do you care? Why didn't you kill me?" Jasper responds instantly.

My hands fall of his arms like anchors into the sea. He sounds a little hysterical.

"Why would I?" I say. I'm not sure where this is going. Is he mad? Did he think I was planning on it?

"You said you'd kill me if I looked at a person badly. "

I stare at him cautiously, "I was angry when I said that. I didn't necessarily mean it that way. I assed the situation you didn't look like you were going to attack."

"You took a huge risk," he stammers, "Her wrists went right by my face. Then, that paper cut. I could smell and almost taste her blood. How do you know I'm not thinking about killing her right now?"

I try to say something along the lines of what in the hell is going on with you, but before I can I start feeling anxious. My hands start grabbing at each other, as though I'm trying to take off my own skin. My breath catches in my throat. I'm having a panic attack, but why? I slowly lower myself to the ground. My hands grab and dig into the dirt and grass. I just want the Earth to stop spinning…

Jasper, lost in his thoughts, finally notices me kneeling on the ground. He drops in front of me to put his hands on my shoulders. I start to feel normal, and try to stand up. Jasper's hands leave my arms and he stands up to. He looks completely unnerved now.

"What was that?" I ask, still a little dazed. I sway on my feet and almost stagger to the ground. Jasper's hands go to my waist to hold me up. My hands go for his elbows. His thumbs and index fingers went a little above my jeans and under my shirt. His cool fingers on my waist are surprisingly soft but sturdy.

"It's nothing Leah, you felt panicked that's all. You thought we were going to fight," he says calmly.

I take a step back and he lets go of me. "I don't panic in a fight."

"There's a first time for everything," he says under his breath, looking away from me.

I take step to get close to his face. My height can add to the intimidation factor, but it also helps to invade people's personal space.

"Look, I don't know what the hell is going with you, but get it together. I'm not going to put up with this shit."

Jasper nods, and picks up the books he dropped on the ground. I stand awkwardly with my hands balled up in fists at my sides. I really thought he was going to respond to that with an angry remark. Am I being played? Is he trying to drive me crazy? I decide I'll just have to wait and see. I walk with Jasper out from the back of the library, and towards our next class.

I steal a couple glances at him as we walk, but he keeps looking straight ahead. His face reveals nothing of what just happened. I can understand the pain of heartbreak, but there's more to what's bothering him. I'm good at figuring people out, but Jasper evades any definition. What just happened was a whirlwind, even as I sort through it I feel like I'm missing something.

We reach our classroom and take our seats. Jasper puts my geology book on my desk. I take off my backpack drop it on the floor with a loud thud at my side. Jasper stays looking at the front of the room. Is he trying to irritate me? Scare me? Confuse me? It doesn't matter. He'll fail on all counts to ruffle my feathers. I was getting complacent, but now I'm back on the alert. I open my book and attempt to cram some knowledge into my brain. My geology teacher, Mr. Tanner has a devilish smile on his face when strolls into the classroom. I am going to fail another pop quiz.

Mr. Tanner puts his briefcase on his desk, "Alright class time for a…you know what? I was going to give you a pop quiz but I just don't feel like it. Next week we'll have a quiz on Friday. Now for today's lecture…"

I flick my head over to Jasper instantly; he puts his hand with a pen in it over to my desk. He starts writing something in my opened notebook.

_I cut your studying time short. _

I read what he's written and watch his hand go back to his desk. I rip the paper out and write on it.

_You didn't have to do that._

I try to casually throw it on his desk. He opens it and writes something. His technique is way better then mine, he lowers his arm to pass it to me. I take it, our fingertips brushing against each other.

_Well, I did. I'm sorry._

I put the note down, and don't write on it. I just nod in his direction so he knows I read it. He shifts his focus back to Mr. Tanner. I'm passing notes with a vampire. What is wrong with me? I really believe his apology too, but I shouldn't. I didn't even expect him to apologize. An apology means the person cares. We don't even like each other.

I find myself staring at the note; our handwriting is similar, very small and skinny. Jasper is acting like a madman one minute, and saving my ass the next. I know he's not okay, but again why oh why do I care? I'm just here to protect people, but now here I am worrying about the vampire's emotional well-being.

I was working my way from Leah the girl who hates vampires with no room for change to being civil. Now, I'm starting to feel compassion, and worried about him. I just referred to him as a him instead of leech or my other variety of insults.

I guess Jasper's not the only wildcard.

* * *

"I am sorry for my weeklong absence class, but I'm sure Rebecca has been an adequate teacher."

Rebecca smiles in an embarrassed way at being called "adequate." by Mrs. Stevens. It must suck to have to work for her. Rebecca has the fortitude of a saint.

Stevens gives Rebecca a stack of packets. "Today, I am going to pass out one act plays for you and your partner to do. You will be performing them next Friday."

Rebecca starts handing out the packets. Why didn't we drop this class? Oh yeah, I decided it would look good for when I transferred. This scene isn't that long at least I think, flipping through the pages.

Jasper, sitting next to me, doesn't even open the packet. He keeps staring into the abyss as he's done all day.

"Half of the class has one script, and the other half another script. I want you all to work during class on your scenes and also at home. I want to see the differences in the performances."

I start actually perusing the script and find something that makes me want to run screaming.

_She kisses him. He kisses back._

I look at Jasper, but he is still not looking through the script. I can't complain about the kiss. Jasper and I are "together" to these people. It's not a huge kiss or anything. This is going to be a huge deal though. I can not kiss a leech It's against everything I stand for. Plus, what if the pack finds out? They will find out because Edward will tell them because he will read Jasper's mind and...

"Stop freaking out," Jasper says, his head almost resting on my shoulder. "I'll ask Mrs. Stevens to switch the script."

"I'm not freaking out. I just don't want to."

Jasper gets up from his seat. "Don't worry. You won't have to kiss the evil disgusting vampire."

He walks over to Mrs. Stevens. What's weird is that he didn't sound mad. He sounded almost understanding. Disgusting? I felt uncomfortable but I don't think disgust entered my emotions. It would be disgusting. I'm sorry I'm not Bella who thinks there is nothing hotter then a dead guy who craves my blood. Is it his vanity I offended? Why does he even care?

Mrs. Stevens shakes her head at Jasper, not a good sign. He comes back over to sit next to me.

"She won't budge. I can change emotions, but sometimes a person's mind is already set. She wants to see our chemistry."

I sigh, "We'll just have to refuse. Let's just pretend we're like really religious and don't believe in kissing before marriage."

Jasper moves his chair so he's facing me. "Leah, don't worry. We're not going to kiss. You'll just draw attention to us with that kind of story."

"You said her mind was set. How are you going to change it?"

Jasper moves his chair back. "Don't worry. It's not going to happen."

He sounds pretty confident about that. I open my mouth to ask him how exactly it's not going to happen, but Mrs. Stevens starts talking. He's going to just keep asking and keep laying on the charm. She's not exactly an FBI agent she'll crack.

I wouldn't kiss Jasper for all the money in the world. I've gotten used to his sickeningly sweet stench. It's natural to get used to smells if you're around them enough. I consider myself good at acting, but there's no way I could act like I'm enjoying a kiss from him.

"Hey, Jasper, you forgot these in the library."

Here's someone who would enjoy a kiss from Jasper, our good friend Amber. She stands in front of Jasper, holding the two index cards out to him. I can see her dried blood on the corner of one. Jasper takes the cards and leans back in his chair.

"Thank you," he says in monotone.

Amber stays standing there, and looks at the script on Jasper's lap. "You guys must be excited to be doing Cinema Limbo. I'm doing that one too, with Gavin."

Gavin, her partner, comes to stand beside her. It's like he's a trained dog coming as soon as he heard his name. He's a lean guy, and very tall, probably around 6'3.

He sticks his hand out to me with a smile, "Hi, I'm Gavin. You're Leah, right?"

I take his hand and nod my head. Gavin is cute, in that hippie/hipster kind of way. He's wearing dark blue jeans and a green flannel shirt. His brown hair comes out in messy licks from a blue beanie.

"Whoa, you're hot," he says, after letting go of my hand.

"Uh, excuse me?"

He laughs, "No, I mean, you're hand is hot. Along with the rest of you, of course."

Normally I'd think this guys comment was super lame. But he said it in a way that was halfway between joking and honesty. I can tell Gavin is the worst kind of cute guy. The nice guy who breaks your heart worse then any bad boy could.

"Thanks." I say with an eye roll. There used to be a time when a cute guy's attention would be welcome to me. This time is not now.

"Excuse Gavin, Jasper. He's a big joker." Amber says, leaning against Gavin. She's mad he complimented me. Great, another reason for to not like me.

Gavin offers his hand to Jasper, "Oh, I'm sorry man. I didn't mean any offense by it. I'm Gavin."

Jasper looks at his hand distastefully, but shakes it. "No problem, _man_." He has the slightly peeved boyfriend down to a T.

"So, Leah, where are you from?" Gavin asks, not deterred by my sullen reply.

"La Push." I reply simply.

He stays smiling, he has slightly buck teeth. That I can't help but find somewhat adorable.

"Really? I love that place! I go surfing there. Do you surf?"

I nod, finding myself giving in to his cheerfulness. "Yeah, but it's half fun and half way too fucking cold most of the time."

"Oh yeah it is. I'm still shivering from when I went a couple months ago. We should meet up to surf sometime. Do you surf Jasper?"

Jasper looks up from reading the script, "No."

"What? You should have Leah teach you. I mean, who wouldn't want to ride the waves with their pretty lady," Gavin says, still continuing with his sunshine parade.

Gavin has a way of speaking that is somewhat mocking of himself. So, the corny things he says don't make him look like a total tool. I don't blush or feel embarrassed by Gavin's comments, just confused. He's with the Aphrodite that is Amber, why is he giving me this attention?

Mrs. Stevens walks into the center of our circle of chairs. "That's enough time to look at the scripts. Everyone take your seats. I want to lecture on method acting some more. Rebecca told me you mostly did exercise. You are very behind."

Gavin and Amber wave at us as they go to take their seats. Gavin looks back, giving me a wink. Oh great, a guy who likes to go after girls who are already spoken for.

"He likes you." Jasper whispers over to me, his eyes on Gavin.

"No he doesn't. He just likes that he pissed you off. It's like a hot man vs. hot man thing. Since it's obvious Amber likes you he feels he has to get your girl. He also can try to make her jealous."

"He's not a bad guy. Amber annoys him. He doesn't like her romantically. He's just too nice to tell her to leave him alone."

I look over at him, "Thanks for the 411, but I could care less about Gavin's feelings toward Amber."

He shrugs his shoulders and sits upright in his seat. I don't get his malfunction. Is he trying to play matchmaker? The vamp has lost it.

I look over at Gavin and find him staring at me. He smiles guiltily, but I just look away. My eyes feel compelled to look at him again. I just haven't been around a cute guy I was attracted to in a long time. Attracted to him? Fine so what if I am? It's not a crime. I've had a very long dry spell that's all. Jasper said Gavin didn't like Amber. Most guys would, that says something about him.

I give in and look at him again, but he's now looking at Mrs. Stevens. I find myself taking him in. He has a little bit of scruff, and light green eyes. They twinkled when he laughed. Twinkled? Did I just use the word twinkled? Get yourself together Leah. Dry spell or not, men are a no no. You barely even know this guy. He's probably an asshole. You can't be that good looking and not be.

I can scold myself all I like, but I can't help but think of Gavin as my partner. It's not even Gavin so much; it's what he represents. I imagine a life where I can go out with a guy like Gavin. It would be nice, and normal. I look at the script's second page again.

_She kisses him. He kisses back._

_

* * *

Ta Da! I hope that didn't suck. I feel like it wasn't that entertaining and I really hope people don't mind the slow pace of their relationship. Things are going to get a little dark in the story, but it won't be for long. Also, how are people liking Gavin? Everyone have an awesome weekend. Thanks for reading!_


	10. Monsters

The muse of this story decided to gift me with the energy and creativity to make this big chapter. Over 6,000 words I am baaaaaallin. I'm sorry for any editing mistakes I will likely re-edit this chapter in the coming week. As I do with all of my chapters haha. I really wanted to get this up for you guys since the last one was so late. And because I somehow got 100 reviews, what what!? Thanks to all my faithful reviewers, this ones dedicated to all of you. I mean to reply to the reviews but school is kicking my ass behind the gym right now.

And of course I ask that you please review. (=

Disclaimer: Twilight ain't mine.

* * *

At the end of our Theatre class Jasper and I couldn't have walked any faster off that stage. I didn't want Gavin trying to talk to me or Amber harassing Jasper. Of course I soon was put in my place when I looked back to see Gavin with his arm around Amber. I heard him talking about going to some party at a friend's house. Jasper might be right. Gavin could find Amber annoying. It doesn't mean he won't screw her if he has the chance.

We didn't take the motorcycle today because it was raining way too hard. Too bad, cause this mini van ride is the epitome of uncomfortable. I turn down the radio. I'm going to bite the bullet and pressure Jasper about how he's going to get the script changed.

"Alright, so, you really think you're going to her change her mind? About the script?" I ask Jasper, my eyes firmly on the road in front of us.

I look up in my rearview to see Jasper nod. Okay, so he's not exactly a chatty Cathy today. I just need him to answer my damn questions.

I press on. "So what are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about it," he mutters.

I continue to look at him through the rearview. He's sitting straight and rigid. A vampire doesn't feel physical pain, but behind his empty eyes is something akin to being slowly tortured. He's just depressed about Alice I tell myself. They were together for like fifty years or something. It's going to be hard to get over, but what's fifty years when you're immortal?

"I will worry about it. I mean, it's not a full proof plan. We'll still study this script. If we have to perform it I'll just say I have a really bad cold." I say plainly.

Jasper laughs humorlessly, "Your not curious?"

I stop looking at the road to quickly glare at him, "Curious? About what?"

"Kissing a vampire. I'm not good looking enough for you? Most would want to kiss me."

I turn back to the road, now gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I don't find you remotely attractive. What is your damage today?"

"My damage? Nothing. I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that." Jasper says, seeming sincere.

I want to ask him what's wrong, but know it would be over the line of formality I want with him. It's obvious he's in pain. Although I should be keeping tabs on his emotional state, that way I'll know how likely an attack is.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask, trying to sound sincere myself.

"Pull over the car," he says simply.

"What?" I ask dumbly.

He bangs his hand on his window. "Pull over the damn car, now."

I pull over mostly because I'm afraid he's going to break my car. I take off my seatbelt as he walks out of the car. I get out on my side and run over to him. There are no cars going down this road to watch what might be a beastly scene.

"What are you doing?" I yell at his retreating back. He's going into the woods. The Cullen house isn't too far from here, but still, he's acting ridiculous.

Jasper turns around, standing several feet from me. "What do you think of me?"

"What do I? What do you mean?" I say, not knowing where the hell this is going.

He smiles dangerously. "You think I'm a monster."

"Well, I…I don't know." I sputter out.

"Yes, you do. Be honest."

I take a deep breath. "Fine, I'd rather you and your family and every vamp on this Earth not be here. I hate your family. I'm trying to be nicer to you all but I'll always hate you. You're the reason I have no future. You're the reason Sam left me. You're the reason why my father died."

"What else?"

I smile bitterly and start throwing out my hands as I rant at him.

"Besides what you've done to me, and my tribe, you've killed hundreds maybe thousands of people. You're a mass murderer. You and the rest of your family. Yet you live without any punishment. I'm supposed to feel bad for you? I'm supposed to respect your self-control? All murderers say they can't control themselves. You should all have killed yourselves a long time ago if you really wanted to protect humans. How many times after swearing vegetarianism did one of you kill someone? Huh? Go fuck yourself. How dare you even act this way when I'm doing you a fucking favor."

"You're right. You're right," he says so quietly I'm sure it's to himself. He looks satisfied with my answer.

He runs off into the woods and towards his home. I stand there staring, even when I can't see him anymore. I wonder what the hell just happened, as I've come to always feel after talking with Jasper. He didn't even bring Alice up, and she's the reason he's depressed. I start to feel like an idiot, standing on the side of the road in the pouring rain. I get back into my car and drive home. I wonder if I should call the Cullens and tell them how upset Jasper is. Leah, you idiot, I think to myself. Edward can read minds. He must know how Jasper is. You're not Dr. Phil just leave Jasper's problems alone.

I reach my driveway and turn off the car. I don't get out right away. I feel a conglomerate of things, but there's one thought that sticks out to me. I'm worried about Jasper, and I'm worried that I'm worried about him. There's a lot of worrying going on. I shouldn't be thinking about him or about helping him. Our problems are similar, but not greatly so. I shouldn't feel this camaraderie with him. He's a hundred and fifty year old vampire. I'm a twenty-year-old mostly human woman. Am I so desperate for friendship that I'm actually starting to care about a vamp? I get out of my car and shake myself a little, hoping these conflicting feelings will fall of me like the raindrops. I meant what I said to Jasper. I don't feel guilty, but his words still ring in my ears.

_You're right. You're right._

_

* * *

_

"Leah, honey, wake up," says a soft but stern voice. A voice I know I have to obey.

I wake up to see my mother standing over me. It's Saturday, why is she waking me up? She looks nervous, which means she's going to break some sort of bad news.

"What's up, Mom?" I yawn out, my head still resting on my pillow. I've just woken up from deep slumber and am not in the mood for bad news.

She walks over to the other side of my room and draws open my curtains. "It's 3 in the afternoon. Leah, you've slept enough."

Shit, the dreaded sunlight. I take my pillow and put it over my head. "Mom, it's been a rough week."

The pillow is lifted off of my head and lightly goes down again to boink me on the head. My mother holds it above me and then throws it to the foot of my bed. The bad news can't be too serious if she's being silly.

"I thought you said Jasper and you weren't fighting,' she asks with concern.

"We're not." I answer hastily, sitting up in bed. "It's just the big workload."

This is partly true. The little scene on the side of the road yesterday is wearing on me more then geology flash cards though.

She takes the pillow and puts it behind me. "Is that Amber girl bothering you at all?"

My mom has been desperate for some mother daughter talks, so I told her about Amber. Us complaining about a snobby flirt helps bring some normalcy into our lives.

"She's been alright, still drooling over Jasper. We've been too busy in class for her to throw herself on him too much. She has another guy in the wings too."

This gets a laugh out of my mom. "Some women just can't control themselves. I've always appreciated that you weren't boy crazy, or so hung up on looks."

I smile and nod, but inside I feel ill. I wasn't boy crazy, because I was only crazy about one boy.

"So, I have to wake up?" I ask my mom, slowly sliding from my sitting position to lie back in bed.

"Yes, you do." she starts, "We're having people over for dinner. You have to help me cook, and clean the house. You also have to look nice."

I sit up straight again, "Who are we having over for dinner?"

I'm surprised since our house isn't messy and why would she tell me look nice? These must not be people we're too familiar with.

"Now, Leah, don't get mad." She says, sitting down near me on the bed. "I've invited Charlie, Bella, Edward and Nessie to dinner."

"What?" I croak out, frozen in disbelief. She did not just say what I think she said.

She sighs heavily. "Leah, come on, don't be like this."

I ignore her pleading voice and get up from my bed. I like to stand when I yell.

"Mom, they can't even eat our food! They're vampires for fucking sake! Are they going to bring their own live baby fawn to suck dry? Should I set up a tarp on the living room floor for them?"

My mom gets up, the look on her face making me cringe a little. I might be a lot taller then my mom, but she can still be very intimidating.

"Leah Clover, don't you ever raise your voice at me like that, or cuss in this house," she says in a low voice that is just as effective as yelling.

I start to say something but she puts her finger up near my mouth. "No. I won't take this from you, okay? I have had enough with your attitude. You think you're the only one who's suffered on this Earth? I didn't raise you to be this…this monster!"

"I'm the monster?" I shout, starting to get hysterical. "You invited the monsters over for dinner. If those vampires weren't here then everything would be the way it should be."

"Leah stop it…"

"No!" I start pacing my room my steps pounding on the floor. ""You have no idea how this feels for me. I know other people suffer, but damn I have a right to be angry. I don't want those…those things in my house! Where my father died, because of them."

"Leah," she says, no longer sounding angry. "You can't think that way. Life is how it is now, not what it could have been. You have no idea what would have happened. Sam and you might have grown apart. Your Dad had a bad heart."

I stop pacing and walk to stand in front of my mother. "No, mom. Unlike you and Dad, I actually loved Sam. You wouldn't understand that, would you? Dad dies and you shack up with his best friend."

The hand that hits my face doesn't hurt physically, but the moment it hits me I stagger backwards slamming into my dresser.

"Leah," my mom says, tears coming down her face. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that…I…"

I stay looking at her, no tears forming in my eyes. "Don't be. I meant every word I said. I'm not sorry." I spit out at her, running from my room and down the stairs.

My mom's voice calling my name follows me as I run out the door. As soon as I step into the woods, I transform. I was furious. I almost changed right in my room. I run through the woods, and am greeted by canine communications. The disgusted condemnation of Jacob and the wounded cry of Seth greets me.

"Leah, how could you say that to your mom? Even for you that's low."

"Leah! You made mom cry? Why Leah?"

I don't say anything, but they know what I'm thinking. That I regret what I said, but believe in it whole-heartedly. I feel guilt towards making my mother cry, but also relived. I had wanted to say that to her for so long. How could she be with Charlie? Did she really love my father? Jacob and Seth don't hear my thoughts anymore. They've changed back to human. They want to go comfort my mom. I keep running, and think seriously about never coming home again.

While running I smell a fire, not too far off. It must be big if I can smell it from here, even with my nostrils. I start running toward it, even in my bad state, I can heed the call of Smokey the Bear. I see the flames though the trees, it's a fire pit. The flames are shooting up from the hole a couple feet. What is going on? Someone must be burning something. I near the hole but don't get to close; the flames smack the air like whips. I start to realize that it's not only smoke I smell, but also something sweet intertwined with the smoke. My mind becomes panicked. There's a vampire in there. The Cullens haven't mentioned fighting any vampires.

I put my head over the hole, the flames burning my chin. The hole is deep, about ten feet, but I see someone lying there. For some reason, I can tell they're still alive. My mind can't even register it. They're lying so still. What in the fuck is going on? Through the flames I finally see the face. Jasper. I don't have time to think, I jump into the hole, grab him with my teeth and jump out. The fire scorches my skin, and lights my fur on fire. I run from the hole, and drop Jasper when I get a few yards away. I start rolling on the ground. The flames sputter out, but patches of fur fall off.

I stop rolling and walk over to Jasper. His pale skin is dirty with soot. His flesh is burnt, peeling and bubbling. He lays there with his eyes open, not saying a word. It's like something out of a horror movie. The burning man, literally. His hair is burnt too, but shines through the muck like a golden star. Damn it there's no one else in wolf form right now. I transform back to human and kneel beside Jasper, trying to not vomit and or scream at the sight of him.

"Jasper," I say, trying to remain calm. "Who did this to you?"

Jasper doesn't move or say a word.

"Jasper, answer me."

"I did." he whispers.

"What?" I gasp, not able to believe it.

"I did it. I did it. I did it!" he screams, standing up suddenly. He can barely hold himself up. He sways on his feet.

I get up and hold his shoulders. He winces in pain. I've never seen a vampire feel pain like this before. When they're being ripped apart or bitten sure, but not this.

He starts sobbing, but no tears come out. Vampires can't cry I remember. He pushes my arms away and walks back toward the fire pit.

I run in front of him, pushing him back. "What in the fuck are you doing?"

He steps around me and keeps walking, "I'm doing what makes this world a safer place."

I go to step in front of him again, "Why are you doing this?"

"You said it yourself I'm better off dead."

I gape at him, since I did say that. To hear them come out of his mouth in this situation makes me realize maybe I didn't mean it.

"I'm sorry okay, is that what you want to hear?" I spit out. My arms stretch across in case he tries to run for it. In his weakened state, the vampire speed doesn't appear to be an option.

"You were right Leah. Now, please, leave me be. You don't care about me. You know this is for the best. It's selfish what we're doing," he says, staring at the fire behind me. No, I can't let this happen. I didn't want this.

"We're dead, but trying to imitate life. We're not a part of the circle of life. We're an evil. An evil that should be done away with.

He tries to step around me again. I step in front of him. He keeps trying and I keep maneuvering in front of him.

"Don't make me hurt you," he says, a vampire growl coming from his throat.

I shake my head, "I'm not going to let you. If you want to fight me go ahead, but what will be the point? You'll have killed someone, exactly what you don't want to do."

My voice sounds a lot more confident then I feel. I am stark naked, and have to transform to even have a chance against him. Then again, in his weakened state I could win. I don't want to kill him though. It would nullify the point of me saving him.

"Leah, please," he pleads softly.

I keep shaking my head. "I can't let your family lose you. I know what its like to lose family."

"You don't care, you don't think we're a family! You're lying!" he screams, getting as close to my face as possible without touching me.

I put my hands on his chest, to push him away if I have to. "You know what I'm feeling, tell me if I'm lying."

At that, Jasper sinks to the floor. His head in his hands, he starts crying like vampires do. The dry and shaking sobs. I sink down in front of him. He stops sobbing after a while, but stays with his head in his hands. Vampires are immortal, so time to them isn't the same like the rest of us. I stay there for what feels like hours, trying desperately to stay awake. The night comes, and then the sun begins to rise.

At this point I start to fall asleep, but I'm awoken when I hear him stand up. I stand up to, suddenly feeling very naked. Since I am, very naked. I also notice he too is very naked. I didn't have time to care about nudity before, but now I desperately do.

I cross my arms over my chest, and concentrate on Jasper's face. He's healed now, not a burn or scratch on him, or any teeth marks. I did bite him after all.

"I'm sorry, for risking your life like that,' he says, not looking in anyway uncomfortable. His eyes stay looking into mine, even after attempted suicide he is going to be a gentleman.

"Just promise me, you won't do this again." I say strongly. I am desperately trying to cover myself, which might ruin the firm message I'm trying to send.

"I…Leah. I won't. I promise." he says, his eyes now looking at the ground. I don't believe him one bit.

"You are officially on suicide watch." I mutter, trying to shake my head to get a hair out of my face. It's tickling my nose.

Jasper walks over to me and puts the hair behind my ear. "You need a haircut. If your hair wasn't so long it wouldn't have caught flame so easily."

His hand stays touching my ear lightly, and I find myself not wincing or stepping back from the touch. As his hand goes back down slowly I clear my throat.

"Well, if you didn't go all Tibetan monk I wouldn't have had to jump in a fire pit in the first place."

Jasper smiles and puts his hand up to stop my coming apology. "Don't be sorry, that was funny."

"Yeah," I start, "Look at all the people laughing."

He smirks at that, "You don't have to feel so uncomfortable you know. It's not like I've never seen a naked woman before."

I stay looking into his eyes, even though curiosity wants me to look at his body or away because of his embarrassing comment. "I should be used to it by now. Mostly every teenage boy on the reservation has seen me naked because of this shit."

"How lucky for them."

"Shut up." I shout, not able to tell if he's being sarcastic. The guy just tried to off himself and he's now in playful antagonizing mode. He is seriously insane, but at least he's on the happy side of his mood swings.

"Hold on," Jasper says, running back to the pit. I almost run after him, but suddenly he's in front of me with a shirt and pants.

"I took them off before, you know, going in," he says, sounding as though he means he went into a pool skinny-dipping.

I take the light blue shirt and button it up quickly, "This could have been brought to me sooner, you know."

He puts on the pants. I stay looking away. "I had more important things on my mind then modesty."

After putting on the pants, Jasper sits down. I sit too, but regret it, the shirt is long, but my upper thighs still have to sit on dewy ground. His chest is marble white, of course. He's lean; no fat on his body, but his muscle is lean and almost gentle. The indents of his pelvic bone are yelling at me to look at them in wonder. Okay, fine, I'll give the vampires that they have great bodies. They could still could use a major tan.

"So, why?" I ask, looking towards him.

He picks up a piece of grass from the ground, playing with it. "I've been thinking about it, ever since Alice left."

I nod my head. "So, because of Alice?"

He looks back to the fire pit, "Partly, I miss her, terribly. But, I miss having someone there to talk to. I'm so used to her presence. She tried hard to make me happy. Now, I'm alone. I will be for eternity."

I don't know what to say. Sam left me, and after two years I'm still not over it. I never tried to kill myself though. I know that eventually I'll move on.

I pluck some grass of my own to play with. "You have a lifetime to find someone else."

He looks at me, dropping the piece of grass. "It wasn't just Alice, its me. What I am. I don't think I deserve to live. I started having these thoughts before Alice left me. It is one of the reasons she left. She did try her best though, to make me happy. I don't blame her. She's still my best friend."

I grimace. "So what? You guys were married. Till death do us part? In sickness or in health? I'm not helping I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "No it's fine. But yes, we were. Alice was the first vampire I met, with humanity. She loved me unconditionally from the day we met. She didn't care about my past. It just…didn't last."

Jasper stands up, offering his hand to me. I take it and stand up too. He bends down to pick up something in the grass, smiling in a pleasant way.

"I'll always love Alice, and my heart still hurts from our parting. But my feelings for her, they're not the same. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself. I have an eternity to live, but nothing to live for."

I realize that the grass he's rolling in his fingers is actually a four-leaf clover. I laugh when I realize it. Jasper looks at me like maybe I'm the one experiencing emotional issues. I put my hands up apologetically.

"I'm sorry I wasn't laughing at you. I get what you're saying. Sam and I weren't together nearly as long and I felt like it was the end of my world." I say quickly, feeling awful for laughing. I'd rather not tell him why I laughed. It's way too childish for this situation.

He nods but smiles at me knowingly, "You laughed at the clover. You were very happy when you saw it. Why? You like them?"

I laughed in an embarrassed way. "Oh, it's just that Clover is my middle name. My Mom called me Leah Clover today for the first time in a long time."

"I used to keep a clover pressed in a book of mine as a child. They're hard to find in Texas," he says wistfully. "My mother only said my middle name when she was angry with me."

I stare up at him, he sounds like the old man he is. "Yeah. She was mad at me. I was very against having Bella and her family over for dinner tonight. I told her she didn't love my Dad, because she went to Charlie so quickly."

I let the grass I'm playing with fall from my hand to the ground. "I know. I'm a mean and horrible person. I made you want to kill yourself. I made my mother cry. I'm the monster."

He stares at me in disbelief. "No your not. You're young, and hurting. You say what you feel. What others don't want to say or admit. What I did has nothing to do with you. You'll go to your mother and she'll accept your apology. You have a right to how you feel. Understand?"

"Okay, I understand. I'm not sure I'm ready to face her." I breathe out, and then bite my lip. I'm starting to feel the weight of what I said to my mom of the look of hurt on her face.

"I'm not looking forward to going home either. Edward will know what I've done when I get there. I'd be surprised if they weren't looking for me already."

"No choice, but the truth," I say mournfully.

"That's not a bad thing." Jasper says, his eyes looking at the coming light of the sun.

He starts to sparkle. Oh, so this is the sparkling shit that happens to them. I always thought it was very fairy-like, like them being covered in body glitter. I was pretty much right on that one.

"Not impressed?" he asks cheekily.

I roll my eyes. "No, can't say I am."

He starts to frown. "You feel uncomfortable again, why?"

I look at him with skepticism clearly on my face. "You don't think this is weird? Several hours ago you were trying to burn yourself alive. Now, your chatting with me like nothing happened. I think you're trying to trick me into thinking you're all better now."

"Why would I trick you? Everyone will find out. There's no reason to pretend to feel anything other then I do."

I sigh and get up. "Well, tell me why you're suddenly all okey doke smoke."

He stands up and looks at me quizzically. "I wouldn't say I'm oke doke smoke, whatever that is. I just…the way you felt. If you could feel concerned about me, like I'm worth living. Then maybe I am."

"Why me? Why does my opinion matter?" I ask him.

"You hate my kind, that's why. You 're as objective a point of view that I have. You don't covet any of us. You have no friend who is with one of us. You're not attached to us. You have every reason to hate us."

I furrow my brows in confusion. "Okay, but I'm not that important. I'm not God or anything. Let thee that is without sin ya know."

"Let thee that is without sin ya know? I like it," he says, smiling.

"Hey, don't make fun of me. I saved your life. You owe me. Too early for those kind of jokes?" I say, rambling my last sentence..

"No, right on time actually," he says, chuckling lightly. "By the way, do you want this clover?"

I scoff. "No it's yours. You found it. You're luck."

His eyes shine like he's realizing something. "I already had my luck today. I should be dead right now. Did you realize I didn't thank you yet?

I put my hand out. "It's not…"

"Yes, it is. Thank you. Here take it, please," he says, holding it delicately from its stem in front of my outward hand.

I open my hand and he places it there lightly. I put it in the breast pocket of Jasper's shirt that I'm wearing. I could use some luck, why not?

"I think we should go to my house first. That way your mother can just come over and pick you up. You shouldn't be walking around the reservation looking like you do."

I look down at myself. I'm wearing only Jasper's light blue button up shirt. It barely covers my ass and is kind of wet at the bottom. My legs are covered in wet dirt and pieces of grass. I touch my face; it's also filthy. I start to finger through my hair, oh no.

"My hair, part of my hair is burnt off! Oh god, how vain am I." I whine, finding charred chunks of hair. I' not one for whining, but my hair is sore subject. I guess I'm going to have to cut my hair really short again.

"I'll pay for a haircut." Jaspers says guiltily, reaching over to touch the burnt parts of my hair. "It won't have to be as short as last time. If it makes you feel any better."

I make a sound of annoyance and Jasper takes away his hand. "You're hair looks fine."

"A vampire perk. Perfect hair no matter what."

Jasper motions to the right, the direction of the Cullen manor.

I look to the right and then look back at him. "I think we should walk, come up with a way to tell your family…what happened."

He puts his hands in his pockets, a habit of his I've noticed. "I wouldn't mind some more calm before the storm. At least no one will be mad at you. They'll be too busy being furious with me."

I start walking towards our destination. "They won't be furious. They'll be sad they didn't see it coming."

He starts walking by my side. "I've gotten good at keeping my thoughts from Edward. I'm sure he won't let his guard down again. He'll now be actively searching my mind."

I try not to look at Jasper's chest too much, but it's like an alabaster magnet. "That sucks. People don't always do what they think, but you dispel that logic. I throw my thoughts like arrows at Edward. It's what he gets for being nosy."

"He can't help it. The same way I can't help but pick up other people's feelings," he says, in that knowing way of his.

"I can't help but be sarcastic and cynical so I'll give you that."

"Timshel," Jasper mutters to himself.

I look in his direction. "Timshel? What does that mean?"

He looks back at me; his eyes aren't as gold as yesterday I realize. "Have you ever read East Of Eden? It's by Jon Steinbeck."

"No, but I always planned to. I've read Mice and Men, Grapes of Wrath, Cannery Row, The Pearl, Winter of Our Discontent…"

He cuts me off, "I'd have thought you'd read it if you've read all those. You'd have to read it to fully understand the term. The word itself is hebrew, it means you may. It's about being able to choose, about making your own decisions."

"Nice message, definitely something to live by." I say, now wishing I read it. I get annoyed when Jasper knows things I don't, especially if it's a subject I consider myself good at.

"It is. I just don't think it applies to me. I'm more like what Steinbeck says of Kate, the monster."

I bump his shoulder with mine. "You're not a monster, if you choose not to be." I say, mimicking his voice.

He bumps me back. "You haven't been sounding like yourself."

"I don't mind that. I've been thinking I should try and sound like someone else."

"You're fine the way you are. When you're happy, you'll be better. You just need to get out of here," he states assuredly.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "You want me out of your hair?"

"No, I want you into your own. I don't know if that makes any sense, but you understand my meaning."

"I do, but no more references to hair. I'm still in mourning." I answer, looking down at our feet walking side by side. It's a contrasting sight. His glowing white skin against my matte brown. It gives me a weird sense of pleasure to see his toes. I'm not into feet, it's that their unattractive. It makes him more human to me. No one can have sexy toes, not even a vampire. It helps to take me out of the situation I'm in, a situation too serious to handle. I'm sure Jasper and I will be forced to realize it once we get to his home.

We keep walking for a couple hours. We talk about various things: our classes and where I should get my haircut. It's surreal. A month ago I hated him more then a person could hate anything. A week ago I was ready to kill him without question. Now, I don't know how I feel. I think the word is friendship, but who knows. Jasper should know, feelings are always changing. Sometimes after years and years, other times in the blink of an eye. I somehow can feel the four-leaf clover on my chest, right near my heart.

We'll see just how lucky it is.

* * *

I'm hoping people will like where the story is going and this chapter. It's pivotal in terms of their relationship changing and all that's going to happen. I hope it wasn't too heavy but it was necessary. From here on out things will go back to being lighter!


	11. Clear Blue Skies

Hey! I decided to have a chapter from Jasper's point of view. It goes without saying that I'll re-edit this in the near future haha. Oh and this is in the past tense. My current decision is to have any chapters from Jasper's POV in the past tense. Word up.

I'm really busy this week but I'll try to update by sunday. Much love to you all.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I own a penguin tea timer. It's sensational.

* * *

The minute I walked into the house, my whole family came rushing to the door. The sight of Leah and me was one that both stunned and worried them. Leah was wearing only my light blue shirt and it was somewhat see through. I don't think she noticed, and I wasn't about to tell her. Leah was being very placid. I wasn't about to mess with it. Her hair was ragged, and slightly burnt in places. She was covered in dirt and grass. I, thanks to vampire perfectionism, looked fine despite not wearing a shirt. This still was a shocking image for them. Emmett's the guy who walks around with no shirt on.

Esme looked and felt unbelievably concerned. She felt scared; she thought something bad had happened between us. That we had fought but then stopped. The rest of the family felt along the same lines, but there feelings were more strongly confusion.

Except Emmet. His feelings of worry faded into humor and a combination of pride. The leer on his face was enough to make me realize he thought Leah and I might have gone at it in the woods, in another kind of way other then fighting. His thoughts probably involved a fight turned into sexual escapade. The flicker of disgust on Edward's face directed towards Emmett solidified this to me. Rosalie's reaction was to growl at Leah. Her feelings were those of anger and fury. She wanted to rip Leah limb from limb for what she must have assumed had been a fight she started. At the sound of her growl I slid in front of Leah. I felt Leah's defensiveness behind me. The fact that she was outnumbered by vampires didn't faze her. She was ready to fight. Edward spoke before one could break out.

"Jasper tried to kill himself." Even as he said the words, he looked like he could not believe he was saying them.

Esme rushed to my side, wailing. Her arms wrapped around my neck. I patted her back, whispering, "I'm fine. It's all right. Everything is going to be fine."

Rosalie's fury towards Leah swiftly was placed on me. "No, things are not going to be okay. It wasn't enough to drive Alice away with your sullenness, but now your going to punish us for it."

"Rosalie, enough!" Carlisle said loudly, breaking up the particles of tension emitting from everyone. When Carlisle raises his voice everyone listens, even Rosalie.

Carlisle's stern expression turned softer along with his tone. "To the living room. We are going to discuss this calmly and rationally. Those who can't handle that should excuse themselves."

Emmet put an arm around a frowning Rosalie and led her to the living room. Edward grabbed Bella's hand. Carlisle and Esme latched arms with me on both sides. I turned my head to Leah, motioning for her to follow. She felt very uncomfortable. I looked down at Esme; she caught my eye and went to her side.

When we reached the living room I took two chairs to place in front of my family. Leah and I sat in front of them.

"Edward is right. I did try to kill myself." I started, looking over at Leah. She looked at me wearily. This was torture for her. Her legs crossed awkwardly together and her arms crossed like a straight jacket. She was trying hard to stay awake.

"Can Leah get some clothes? She been awake all night and doesn't have to sit through this. She should get some sleep." I said, causing a bit of shock among them. The affection in my tone was evident. It was only days ago her name was almost used like an epithet.

"Oh, of course! I'm so sorry Leah. It should have been done already." Esme said, apologetically.

"I don't mind just sitting here." Leah said, yawning loudly after it. Her eyes could barely stay open.

Esme came back with sweatpants and a shirt, some of my clothes from the dryer. Leah got up and listened to Esme's instructions to the guest room. She looked at me cautiously. I knew she wanted to go to sleep more then anything, and being here for the family talk made her uneasy, but she felt somewhat protective of me.

I looked at her and nodded reassuringly. "Go. I need to speak with them alone. We'll call your mother, tell her you're here."

Leah nodded, said a thank you to Esme, and went up the stairs. I could feel her relief to go to bed. It made me happy to know I had pleased one person. Since I was about to depress a whole group of people.

Edward gripped Bella's hand tightly, he was not happy with the thoughts he was reading from me.

"Jasper laid in a pit of fire to kill himself. Far enough in the woods that we wouldn't be able to detect it. He's been hiding his true thoughts from me, an amazing feat really, but excuse me if I don't applaud it."

I nodded and thought of the night in its entirety. I wanted to let him know my mind was open to him completely now.

"Did I leave anything out?" Edward asked angrily. Bella leaned in closer to comfort him.

"Why Jasper?" Esme asked, barely able to keep herself from coming over to hug me again.

"I didn't feel the will to live. I thought I didn't deserve to. I'm a murderer. I thought I should be punished." I said. "I'm sorry for not telling you, but I knew you wouldn't let me."

"Of course we wouldn't let you. You're not a murderer Jasper." Bella said earnestly.

I thought of how Bella didn't know what she was talking about. She'd barely been a vampire a year, and did not kill one person. She had no idea what it was like to be a murderer. Bella's naivety could annoy me at times.

"Jasper," Edward growled menacingly.

I rolled my eyes, letting the minor irritation get the better of me. "I can think what I want Edward."

"Okay, enough. Please continue with this story." Rosalie said, exasperated.

"Edward was right. I dug a pit, lit a fire, and laid in it. I tried to kill myself. He left out the part of why I'm not dead right now," I said, looking at Edward intently.

"It's hard to believe, but Leah saved him." Edward said, not able to believe these words either.

"What?" echoed Bella, Rosalie, and Emmett.

"She saved you? How?' Esme asked me, her eyes hurt me with their sadness.

"Leah was at the right place at the right time when wolf. She must have sniffed the fire and come to check it out. She pulled me out of the pit."

My family stared at me in varying forms of shock. I couldn't help but think of how Leah and I interacted afterwards. How she comforted me, and actually said she didn't think I was a monster.

Edward looked at me pensively. "She saved his life, and if he's not lying to me with his mind as he has, then she also has changed his attitude about killing himself."

"What?" Rosalie started, disbelief in her voice and face. "She would never do that. You must have fought or something. I don't believe you don't want to kill yourself either."

I sighed and tried to be patient. "Rosalie, I didn't try to kill myself to punish this family. I thought it would be better for the world."

"So, are we monsters too?" She spat, with Emmett's arm keeping her plastered to the couch.

I couldn't blame Rosalie for being angry with me. I also couldn't blame her for not believing me. It had only been hours since my suicide attempt. Rosalie was touchy about being a monster. She had never killed a human for their blood, but had murdered the men who attacked her. She felt she was serving justice, but still found herself wondering about her humanity.

I shook my head heavily. "I think it's a personal decision. I would never want any of you to kill yourselves. I wish you would believe me. I'm not going to try to kill myself again."

"Jasper, why the change of heart? I want to believe you son, I do. But I am worried. Maybe, you should stop going to school." Carlisle said, shooting Rosalie a look that translated into "calm down now."

Carlisle all of these years had tried to install humanity back into me. It's why I love learning; it's how Carlisle tried to turn me human again. We are opposites, Carlisle and I. He has never taken a human life. I have killed countless amount of people, both when human and a vampire. I'm a military man, the by whatever means necessary state of mind. While he is every bit a pacifist, only hurting those who directly attempt to destroy him or his family.

I looked at Carlisle with stubborn determination in my eyes. "Edward can feel free to rifle through my mind as much as he wants. I have to go to school. I changed my mind because of Leah."

"What?!" Rosalie shouted. Her anger felt like a tight rope about to snap.

"I trust her judgment, and she said I should live. I think it was fate, how she saved me. " I said, smiling slightly.

"Fate? I believe it." Esme said, copying my smile. Her love is unwavering, and she felt I needed it more then ever.

Rosalie's eyes turned into menacing slits. "Oh, great. Jasper's suicide is going to be swept under the rug. He's now all buddy buddy with that dog Leah Clearwater. So quick to find a replacement for Alice? You can't change her into one of us, but why don't you bite her and try?"

I didn't growl at Rosalie, it wasn't necessary. I've killed millions of vampires; it takes only a look for people to fear me.

"I don't feel for Leah that way. She's a friend. But you better watch your tongue Rosalie. Your jealousy of humanity is pathetic." I said slowly, every word stabbing at her lifeless heart.

Rosalie stood up abruptly, her fury so great I could barely stand to sit in the same room with her. She walked past me without a look. Emmett was instantly at her side. She turned around as she opened the door.

"Are you going to let Jasper tear this family apart, Carlisle? First Alice, and maybe me," she said, gripping the door so tightly her hand left a molding.

"Sorry, Jasper. We'll talk later." Emmett whispered almost silently, following Rosalie outside obediently. He gave me a salute before exiting through the door. A joke he created between us when he first found out I served in the military. He felt immensely glad that I was alive. Emmett and I are very close. We're both jokers, in different ways. Edward takes himself a little too seriously for Emmett's taste sometimes.

I returned the salute and turned back to my remaining family members. They didn't feel the same anger as Rosalie. They felt sad and suspicious of my promise not to hurt myself again.

"Leah, she saved you. That's great." Bella said, trying to be supportive. She wasn't angry with me for whatever bad thoughts had made Edward snap at me. Bella is always understanding.

I looked at her appreciatively. "She's a good person. I'm going to help her, like she helped me."

"Help her what?" Bella asked, leaning towards me.

"To get out of here, to have her own life."

Carlisle, realizing the conversation about my suicide was through here, got up from the couch to walk over to me. He put his hand on my shoulder, "Please, promise me you won't do this again. You're my son, and I'd miss you more then you know or seem to realize."

"I won't. I promise." I said, hoping my face conveyed my sincerity.

He squeezed my shoulder and looked at me solemnly. "Alright, I believe you. We'll talk about this in my office, again, in about an hour."

He then went upstairs, giving Esme a loving look. She smiled at him but motioned for him to go. She wanted some alone time with me. Carlisle probably opened up a book on suicidal behavior and how to prevent it while he waited for me. I was looking forward to my talk with him. Carlisle is, without sounding hackneyed, a wise man. Carlisle was most things I wanted but felt I could not be. Righteous. Selfless. Strong. Peaceful. Compassionate. The list could go on and on.

"You don't think Leah could be happy here?" Bella questioned sadly. She felt for Leah, even though the girl had been mean to her in the past.

"She wants to have her own life. I don't blame her. She never chose this." I said, searching Bella's eyes for understanding. Bella knew the importance of choice in a person's life more then anyone.

"I get it," she said, her hand now intertwining with that of her choice. "She should have the life she wants."

"I understand too, Jasper." Edward started, looking regretful. "I'm sorry for being angry with you earlier. I'm just scared you'll try it again. I blame myself for not being able to stop you."

"It's not your job to search our minds for suicidal thoughts, brother. Feel free to look through my mind I deserve it. But I won't think it, Edward. I know I won't."

"Well, I know I'll be keeping a closer eye on you," Esme said, trying to appear happier. She was trying hard to keep her true emotions at bay, to appear positive. She was afraid I was lying. She felt guilty she didn't see it coming. A mother's guilt.

I was the problem child if there was one in this family. Esme felt I needed the most love from her, and that she had failed in giving it. I had never been close with my own mother, though she is barely more then a memory to me now. Esme is the only mother I know, and I'd crushed the part of her that tried so hard to make us all happy.

I stood up from the chair, turning to face Esme directly. "Esme, I'm sorry. I hate myself for hurting you. This is not your fault. I could not ask for better in a mother. If I could go back…"

"You can't go back, but you will stop with this hatred of yourself. If you feel sad, come to me, or anyone. Just not that, ever." Esme said, getting up to hug me.

"I won't." I said softly, and If I had tears I'm sure I would have cried.

She kissed my forehead and let go of me. "Leah will be hungry when she wakes up. We should cook her something. Do you want to help me?"

"Yes, definitely. I'll be right there."

Esme nodded, her motherly smile in place, and went to the kitchen. Bella came over and gave me a hug of her own.

She let go but held my hands. "We all love you, Jasper. We want you to be here with us forever. Rosalie does to, she just has a funny way of showing it."

I kissed her forehead like Esme did to me. "Nothing to worry about sister. It will be clear blue skies from here."

Bella smiled slightly at my reply, but couldn't muster a laugh. It might be a while till anyone laughed because of me.

"I'm going to check on Renesmee." Bella said to Edward, who had stood up to stand next to her. He kissed her, his hand resting on her cheek.

He was happy, to have Bella and Renesmee. Alice's departure had left him paranoid that the person he loved might one day leave him. His paranoia had been fading. Bella walked out and Edward came to hug me to. He stepped pack and looked at me quizzically.

"Your thoughts keep saying something about your luck. Your clover? What is that?"

I smirked, "It's nothing. I found a four-leaf clover in the woods. I think its given me luck."

Edward looked at me skeptically but nodded. "I'll see you in a bit. I'm going to see if Renesmee is awake and wants human food for a change. She likes to eat food when there's company who eats it too."

As Edward walked up the stairs I smiled to myself. I was going to let Edward read my mind without any problems, but I could still have some secrets. My luck and my clover was a person, Leah. She hated my kind, but she saved me. I was now going save her. When I gave her that clover, it was a declaration of my help. I was the veteran of two wars, both human and supernatural. How hard could this be? I was going to get her to do well in her classes and readjust her to normal life. I was going to get her out of here eventually. My thoughts of her circled endlessly. I had major things in store for Leah Clearwater. As much as I was doing this for her, I was also doing it for myself. If I was going to stay alive I was going to do something for the greater good. I would start with Leah.

"Jasper, what should we make? It's only 8 a.m. We should make breakfast, right?" Esme's enthusiastic voice called from the kitchen.

I walked towards the kitchen and felt happy to be alive. I hadn't felt that way in a very long time. I had a family who loved me, and now, a purpose. The bad thoughts that had been clinging to me for so long were pushed out by this sense of purpose. Leah would get to lead the normal and fruitful life none of us could have. She would have a career and a husband and children and pets and all those things normal happy humans had. I promised myself this, and when I make a promise, I am steadfast in keeping it.

Little did I know how much this promise would hurt to keep.


	12. Best Policy

HeYo! I'm amazed there are over a hundred reviews, go LeahxJasper! I love how people are saying they never thought of this pairing but now actually like it. I'm hoping HaleWater starts to gain popularity so I can read some more of them. (=

Another chapter that I will probably re-edit in the future. This chapter was kinda a bitch to write so I need to take some time from it. Please review! They inspire me to update more frequently so yeah feel the pressure haha.

Disclaimer: Twilight is still not mine, bummer.

* * *

"Hey, you sleep like me!"

I wake up to the high pitched voice of a little girl. My eyes slowly open to reveal a sideways Renesmee standing in front of me. Her chocolate brown eyes stare at me in wonder. It's like Goldilocks in reverse, or maybe Little Red Riding Hood.

I shoot upward and look around, starting to remember where I am and why. The king sized bed I'm in is definitely not my own. Renesmee looks at me like I'm a very fascinating creature.

"Did you hear me? You sleep like me,' she says again impatiently.

I run a hand through my hair, not so easy to do with the tangles and burns. I look down at Renesmee begrudgingly.

"You just woke me up. That is rude." I yawn, falling back into the bed.

The little girl laughs and hops onto the bed by my feet. She crawls to the other side of the bed near my head. Oh god, I can't stand kids, especially spoiled ones. She has this whole family wrapped around her little finger. I feel a little hand touch my face, and quickly roll myself to the edge of the bed, almost falling off. I know her power, and I am not about to be subjected to it.

"You don't want me to do it?" she asks with surprise.

I straighten myself out and turn my neck to look at her. "No, you should ask first by the way."

"I'm sorry. That was rude. You're Jacob's Beta, right? I've seen you before, and heard about you. Sethy's your brother?"

"_Seth _is my brother. Yes, I am Jacob's Beta." I reply, turning away from her to curl back up in the fetal position. Vampires may not sleep, but they have the best beds. Goose down comforter? I'm in heaven.

"Why don't you like me? Or any of us? You never come for dinner," she says accusingly.

I crack my eyes open and groan, apparently she is my little alarm clock. I sit up in the bed and stare at her. She looks like she's six but her intelligence is way above that level. Which sucks, six year olds shouldn't be so observant.

"I don't not like you, or any of you. I'm just busy, with things." I mutter pathetically.

She smiles at me in an amused way. "I think you're lying to me, but that's okay. If Uncle Jazz likes you, then I like you."

"Uh, excuse me?" I ask her curiously.

"I heard Mommy and Daddy saying that you two were friends now. He thinks you're a good person."

"Oh, that's nice." I say, annoyed by being unnerved by a little kid.

I look around the room and study it a bit. I threw myself into bed when I came in. Instant slumber. The room is bigger then mine at home, probably bigger then most people's bedrooms. The bed has large blue flower patterned white sheets, with a wrought iron bedstead. There's a plush looking blue loveseat and other antique furniture. I'm not an expert at interior decorating, but I'm sure Esme was going for French country.

"You look very dirty by the way and what's wrong with your hair?" she chirps at me, sounding innocent but looking mischievous.

That does it I'm giving this brat a piece of mind. Before I can, a sweet smell wafts into the room. Although it doesn't pain me like it used to, it still is very recognizable. I look at the door to see Jasper leaning against the frame.

"ReRe? Are you bothering our guest?" Jasper says playfully, cocking a brow downward at her.

"No! I was just asking her some questions Jazzy."

I snort, "Jazzy? Really now?"

He walks in and sits in front of my curled up legs. This could not get weirder. I'm practically having a slumber party with Jasper and Renesmee right now.

"I was just telling Leah how much you like her," Renesmee says eagerly to him.

Jasper chuckles lightly. "You did? What did she say?"

"She said..."

"Hey, I'm here, remember me?" I say, waving to them both.

Jasper waves back. Smartass. Renesmee imitates him by waving right in my face. She is so lucky I don't hurt minors.

"Go help Grandma cook ReRe." Jasper says, reaching a hand over my lap to ruffle her curls. She giggles and slides off the bed to run out the door.

"Did you send that hyper intelligent nugget in here to wake me up?" I ask him with a finger point.

"Can't say I did. She was curious about the human houseguest. We don't get many. Did you enjoy your sleep? You looked like you were."

My eyebrows go way up. "You saw me sleeping?"

"Yeah," he says, unabashedly. "I came in to see if you were awake, but you looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you."

It's beyond creepy to sleep in a house full of vamps . It gives sleeping with the enemy a whole new meaning.

"Thanks, I might have punched you. I'm very serious about my sleep."

"Good to know. You could have showered you know." Jasper says, looking me over.

"What? Do I smell bad?" I ask, giving myself a sniff. "Besides the mangy smell I come with?"

He smells the air, looking thoughtful. "I don't really notice that smell anymore. It's become musky to my senses. You look like you could use one."

"Yeah, I should. If my mom sees me in my current state, she will freak. Then again, what am I going to do about this hair."

"It's Sunday nothing will be open. Esme will cut it before you leave," he states confidently.

"Why? I'll just get it done tomorrow."

"She trained to be a hair stylist before. She'd love to, and right after we have breakfast. After you have breakfast to be more accurate. I ate breakfast a couple days ago."

"Why the rush? I'll just get it done Monday," I say, confused with his awkward rambling and insistence.

He looks at me painfully. "I don't think your mother should see you like this. Have you looked in a mirror Leah?"

I throw the sheets off my legs and get up from the bed. I sit at the vanity in the room and can't hold back a gasp. The sight that greets me is nothing less then disgusting. I was expecting the dirt and grime, but my hair looks like I was attacked by a flamethrower. It's in different jagged and burnt lengths.

"Holy shit! How can this be fixed? Fuck." I say, picking at the burned and raggedy pieces. I put my head in my hands, feeling emotional.

It's shallow, but I had to wait months to grow my hair out. I was ordered by Sam to cut my hair short. I chopped it off myself with a pair of scissors, a severely short do. It was the hair style equivalent of the middle finger.

Jasper's cool fingers pull my hands from my face. I can see in the mirror that he stands behind me with that guilty expression of his: crinkled eyes and a semi smile. The boy who ate the last cookie in the cookie jar. In this case, the boy who destroyed my hair with a suicide attempt involving fire.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault," he says, hands now placed on my shoulders

"I…just don't worry about it. It's fine. I trust Esme." I lie shakily. I feel a bad haircut coming on.

"You're lying, but it'll look good. You'll see," he says, dropping his hands back to his sides.

"Could I shower before breakfast?" I ask, picking a piece of grass from my face. I can't believe Rosalie saw me like this. It's nice to know insignificant things can still matter to me, even if they are petty and shallow.

He points to a door in the room I thought was a closet. "Bathroom's there. It has towels and everything you need. Take a bath if you want, breakfast isn't done yet."

Jasper walks out of the room closing the door behind him. I walk into the bathroom. It's huge. The Cullens do not skimp on their guests. I now understand why Jasper said to take a bath, it's a claw foot bathtub. I have dreamed of a bathtub like this.

I let the water run and take off the clothes I'm wearing. I fold them and put them on the sink. A pair of black track pants and a white t-shirt. I know their Jaspers, they have his smell. My nose even in human state is better then the average homo sapient. All the vamps have a different scent. Jasper smells sweet, like all vampires, but more like lavender. I think. I'm not the best with floral scents.

I put the bubble bath soap along with the crystals into the tub. I've never had a full on bath in my life. It's what happens when you share a bathroom with a brother. I should relax, get my head in the right mindset for what awaits me downstairs. I completely forgot to ask Jasper how the talk with his family went. He looked so at ease. It didn't even enter my mind.

I get into the tub and sigh happily. A bubble bath before breakfast. Since it was all provided by vampires I could never get used to it. But I'll sure as hell enjoy it.

* * *

"So, how do you like your eggs?" Jasper asks, an egg in one hand and a spatula in the other.

"Sunny side up, please?" I ask skeptically. How can he cook? He hasn't eaten food for like a century. I have huge doubts here.

Jasper smiles ruefully and cracks the egg with one hand onto the pan. "Hey, stop with the doubtful feelings. I know what I'm doing."

I whistle impressively. "Wow, the one handed egg crack."

Esme comes up from behind me, pouring food onto my plate. "Here you go, Leah. You like home fries and bacon right?"

I nod my head and start eating. Jasper slides two eggs on to my plate. This isn't exactly a healthy breakfast, but its damn good. I can't believe the vamps can cook. Maybe its part of how they lure humans to them. Some people would choose bacon over beauty.

"Thank you both." I say, after swallowing a huge amount of food. My mom would be happy to see how polite I'm being to the Cullens.

They called my mom and told her I was here. They said I'd been in the woods and that Bella had gone looking for me. We talked and worked out our differences I stayed here for the night to cool down yada yada yada. A big fat lie. That way word doesn't spread that Jasper tried to off himself. It's not good for the Cullen PR. I could care less. I'm not feeling great towards my mother, but I'd rather not give her more to worry about it.

Renesmee opens her food filled mouth to speak. "Thank you Jazz and Grandma."

"No eating with your mouth full." Jasper says, turning around from washing dishes in the sink. Esme dries them at his side.

"Yes, Uncle Jazzie," she responds sweetly, but once his back turns she makes an atrocious little face. She turns to me laughing. I laugh back. Oh no, I am falling under the charm of the Nessie monster. Then again, she's got more spunk then both her parents. I admire and encourage spunk.

Esme goes to the coffee maker and pours some into a mug, setting it in front of me with some sugar and cream. I wonder if she ever worked in a diner. The Cullen kitchen has great service. Jasper turns off the sink and walks over to the island counter we're eating at. He leans over it, his face in front of Nessie's.

"What were you laughing at?" Jasper asks her. He gives me a look but I stare at my eggs, snickering to myself.

"Nothing!" Nessie says, throwing me guilty glances.

"Nothing? Really? It doesn't sound like nothing." Esme says trying hard to contain her smile while putting away the dishes.

"I think she needs to be punished." Jasper says seriously, drumming his fingers on the counter.

"Yup, I'd say so." Esme says, coming to stand beside Jasper.

Jasper easily leans all the way over the counter to start tickling Nessie under the arms. She squeals with delight. I hate tickling. It starts out fun but turns into torture.

"Hey! This isn't fair! Leah laughed too!" Nessie shouts between laughing. Jasper looks so happy. I guess kids have that affect on people. He smiles at me and stops tickling her.

His hand pinches her cheek. "She did, but I won't tickle her. She'll beat me up."

"Beat him up!" Nessie yells, banging her little first on the counter.

"Maybe, later Nessie." I say, taking a sip of coffee.

Jasper puts an offended look on his face. "Maybe later? I didn't even tickle you. That's not very fair."

I wave a piece of bacon at him. "Fine I won't, but I hate being tickled. So any sort of tickle will guarantee a throw down."

Renesmee upon hearing how much I hate being tickled, starts trying to tickle me from her stool. I laugh, but try to inch my stool away.

"Traitor!" I say to her, attempting to tickle her back.

Jasper and Esme laugh at the sight. Me trying desperately to inch my stool farther away while Renesmee skirts hers over. I could just step off the stool, but she'd probably start chasing me. I'd rather not make this a huge scene.

"Isn't this cute? Leah playing nice." a cool voice says from behind us.

The tickling and laughter stops at the sound of Rosalie's voice. She strolls in looking troubled, but then reaches her hand out angelically to Renesmee. I choose to ignore her comment. Her mother just made me home fries. I'll let her bitchiness pass for now.

"Do you want to go hunting now, honey?" she says sweetly to Renesmee.

The little one shakes her head, popping a piece of bacon in her mouth. "I'm full!"

Rosalie frowns while taking her hand back, but smiles again for her. "Oh, alright then. I'm going to go hunt now. I'll be back soon, Nessie and Esme. Bye, love you both."

She looks at me reproachfully and walks out of the kitchen, without a word to Jasper. He doesn't look too perturbed though. Instead, he puts his hand on Nessie's chin to lightly close her open and chewing mouth.

As much as I've thought of Renesmee as demon spawn in the past. I can see what she brings to the Cullen family. I've never been huge on kids, but they're a part of a normal life. It's how a family grows and forms memories. Renesmee is all this family has for that, and not even for a long time. Even now, I can see Esme looking at her sadly. The phrase they grow up so fast has a far more literal connotation here.

Jasper takes our dirty dishes and starts cleaning them. Esme comes to stand in front of me, seeming apprehensive.

"Jasper told me that you're going to let me cut your hair. Are we still on?" she asks, looking at my hair hopefully.

I nod my head with a forced smile on my face. I'm completely unable to make the word yes come out of my mouth.

"Come on," Renesmee says, grabbing my hand. "Grandma cuts my hair in the upstairs bathroom!"

I let her pull me off the stool. Esme following behind us. I look towards Jasper before we're out of the kitchen. He gives me a thumbs up as I go through the doorway. I start feeling a lot calmer. I know this is Jasper's doing, but don't mind. Esme's gonna have a pair of scissors in her hand. I'd better not be jittery.

I walk up the stairs like it's a death march. Renesmee acts like it's a parade. I look at her bouncy shiny curls and start to feel better. Esme cuts her hair, and it looks good. Then again, she has more hair to work with, and has uber beauty as a sequence for her DNA.

We reach the bathroom and I'm surprised to see a salon like chair in front of the huge bathroom mirror. Esme's hair stylist tools are already set up. The scissors shine in front of me like a dagger. I sit down and try my best to not look utterly miserable.

"Look through this and see what you like." Esme says, handing me a huge book of haircuts. It looks like it has modern styles, a good sign. I flip through the pages uncertainly. Esme puts a pale finger down on the next page I flip to.

"I think this would be great for you," she says. "You're thick hair is straight and your face shape would work well with this. I think it would look amazing."

Renesmee creeps up from the other side of me to look at the picture.

She claps her little hands together. "I love that one! I could never get anything like that, my hair's too curly."

"You're hair is gorgeous. I'm jealous." I state plainly, looking intently at the picture in front of me.

It's not too short, but it has bangs. There not blunt straight across bangs, but bangs nonetheless. I look at my face in the mirror, are bangs really a good idea? I've been pretty boring when it comes to my hair. I just liked it long. Why not try something edgier?

"Go for it, Esme." I say somewhat confidently.

She beams at me as she takes the book and closes it. I take a deeper breathe as she goes for the scissors. I pray for two things: A. That my haircut isn't bad and B. I don't get stabbed in the neck with those scissors.

I'm not sure what would be worse to me.

Esme chats with me amicably as she cuts my hair. A bunch of normal topics, like the classes Jasper and I are taking. I can tell she really wants to tell me something.

"I don't want to keep bringing it up, but thank you Leah," she says finally, her hands still cutting away.

I know exactly what she's talking about. "You're welcome."

"I love Jasper dearly. I think he feels he's not part of the family, without Alice. I'm hoping we both can help him to see life worth living again."

"I don't know If I can help him I mean I don't know…"

Esme puts the scissors on the counter and picks up the blow dryer. She holds it by her side and turns to me.

"Leah," she says, seeming to carefully choose her words. "I know you don't like vampires. I don't blame you. We've brought a lot of pain to your family."

"I really don't need…"

"I know you don't want to talk about this, and that's fine. I just want you to know how much I do thank you. You have no idea what a great thing you did. This family is indebted to you."

"Thanks." I respond awkwardly.

"And with helping Jasper, just be yourself. You make him laugh, that's more then enough," she says, picking up the blow-dryer again. I can tell from the blinking of her eyes that if she were human she'd be fighting back tears.

I nod and bite my lip. That was uncomfortable but nice of her. She wants me to know she's thankful. Esme really does care about Jasper, and all of her…children. In the past I thought Esme was pathetic, trying to play house with a group of blood thirsty monsters. I was wrong I'll admit that. I think she's worried that Jasper doesn't feel like her son, but she shouldn't be. The way Jasper looked at her when we came through the door. He does see her as his mother.

I can't help but think again of my own. She's a good mother too, but I don't know what to do about my problems with her. I want to talk to her about it, but don't know what it will solve. I try to think of what I should say to my mother. Should I apologize? Or try to talk to her about it? Ignore it? This situation with Jasper should remind me how lucky I am, but I still feel bitter if no longer vindictive.

Esme turned me away from the mirror to blow dry my hair. She switches the blow dryer off and looks at me proudly.

"I think you look beautiful, but if you don't like it, don't worry I won't be offended."

I take a deep breathe and try to put a happy look on my face. If I don't like it I don't want her to know I don't like it. I spin the chair around and look at myself.

"I love it!" I exclaim, getting up from the chair to take a closer look. My hair falls smoothly in layers, with side swept bangs. It doesn't even look that short, a little past my shoulders.

"Thank you!" I say, turning to Esme. She smiles and hugs me. I return it and then turn back to the mirror.

Renessme, likely hearing the excitement, comes into the room. She squeals excitedly, running over to me.

"It looks great! Esme has skills."

She has skills? Jacob is definitely having an influence on her vocabulary.

Renesmee takes my hand for the second time that day, and tugs on it. "Let's show everyone!"

"'I'd rather not make a big deal…"

The little girl has surprising strength, she yanks me out the door. I try to get back into the bathroom, but Bella sees me from the bottom of the stairs. I would rather not run to hide in the bathroom in front of her. I try to calmly walk down the stairs with Renesmee still holding my hand.

"It looks great Leah!" Bella says as I get down the stairs. Edward nods approvingly. Luckily Rosalie and Emmett are busy hunting. I'd rather not have her make some bitchy ass comment. It would be hard to bring me down now though. I haven't felt happy about something as simple as a haircut in a long time.

"Thanks. Esme is talented." I say, running a hand through my hair.

Carlisle comes with Esme from upstairs. He looks at her lovingly and grabs her hand.

"She is, isn't she? It looks great Leah."

I say another thanks and then Jasper walks in from the kitchen. His eyes do a double take. I give him a thumbs up. He walks over to stand closely in front of me.

"It looks beautiful," he says, staring at me.

"I love it. You're right, Esme is amazing.." I say, feeling a little anxious under his gaze. He must be making sure I like it.

"Do you want me to give you a ride home?" he says, his gaze finally lessening in their intensity.

"Sounds good," I say, looking around the living room. The Cullen family is watching Jasper and I like were two animals at the zoo. They start talking amongst themselves when they realize I've noticed their attention on us.

Jasper walks toward the door and I follow him. I look at Edward and hope he can hear my thought: S_omeone should come with Jasper_, I think over and over. _I don't trust him alone._

Edward doesn't say anything but he shakes his head giving me an assured look. I guess I'll just have to take his nod for it. Renesmee scurries out of his lap and hugs my knees. I tense up and put my hands up in surprise. I slowly lower them down and pat her head.

"See you later Renesmee," I say nicely. I feel a little guilt over throwing a fit over her coming to dinner. It's not her fault her parents have pissed me off royally in the past. I saw today that Jacob is having a good influence on the tyke.

Jasper and I say our goodbyes and walk out the door. We walk to the garage and Jasper goes towards the Mercedes. I get into the car and realize something that might be a little weird.

"Jasper," I say when he gets in the driver's seat. "You don't think my mom will find it weird I'm wearing your clothes?"

Jasper starts the car. "No, you changed therefore your clothes would be ripped up right? Bella found you in the woods and she had the clothes with her."

"That does make sense, but I doubt my mom will be completely sold though. I don't think she'll believe I took the olive branch of friendship from Bella."

He puts his hand on the back of my seat as he turns his head to back up. "Tell her that you were under dire stress and didn't realize what you were doing. If it's important that your mom know how much you still hate us."

"Hey, I'm passed hate, okay? I'm definitely not on the Vampires Are So Cool Bandwagon. Rosalie's a bitch but the rest of you are nice." He didn't sound angry towards me, just matter of fact.

"Nice?" he says, smirking to himself.

"I still take issue with your shady pasts, and I worry about possible murders that could take place. But Carlisle is practically a saint."

"He is," Jasper says, the two words conveying his utter belief in his father's goodness.

"Thank you, for being honest." He says after a couple moments of silence. It's not awkward like our usual silences. The tension has left what usually occupied the space between us.

"You're welcome. " I say simply.

We pull into my driveway and I take a breathe. "Time to get this over with."

He turns toward me, "Be honest, but calm."

"Easier said then done. Is that the strategy you used in your family meeting?" I ask.

"It is. You might have noticed that mostly everyone in my family is being supportive of me."

"Except Rosalie?" I ask, not able to keep the animosity out of my voice.

"Rose, is who she is,' he says, sounding like a protective family member.

"It's time to go into the lion's den. Wish me luck." I say, putting my hand on the door handle. He touches my arm lightly. I turn to look at him.

"If you need anything, call me. Class on Monday?"

I nod my head, "Yeah class on Monday. And thanks, for everything."

He takes his hand back to the steering wheel. "No, thank you, Leah. Good luck."

I get out of the car and close it. It slowly backs out of my driveway and goes up the road. I look at it go, and a small part of me wishes it was still there. It's because I don't want to face my mother I think to myself. It's easy to forget your problems when chatting with a century's old vampire.

I walk up my porch stairs and open the front door. We never lock it. Why should we? Any robber would regret coming into this house. I walk in to find my mom sitting on the couch in the living room, watching the news. Seth sits in the recliner, staring at me oddly. I wave him off, he knows what it means. Get the hell out it's time for some adult talk. He gets up and goes into the hallway to go up the stairs. I sit down on the recliner and look at my mom expectantly.

"So, how was your weekend?" I ask, sarcastic but not in bad spirit.

She smiles ruefully, "Horrible. I'm sure yours was better. Your hair looks fantastic, you got it cut?"

"The Cullen's know how to treat a guest. Esme did it."

She looks at me, very confused. "Are you telling me that you not only slept at the Cullens, but let Esme cut your hair?"

This was going to be very hard for her to believe. If there are two things I treasure, they are my sleep and my hair. My typical behavior would not have me trusting these things to the vamps.

"Bella found me in the woods. I was tired. I didn't want to go home. She was really nice." I say, trying hard to look her in the eyes. People look away when they lie, then again, they say that people might stare at you too hard when trying to look honest…

She nods her head but starts looking at me expectantly. "Oh, I thought maybe I got that part of the story wrong. That someone also found you."

What?" I reply. I look at her dumbfounded. Her statement sounds like its loaded with something else.

"Jasper called. He told me everything, about Bella finding you and you being taken care of. He mentioned that you'd be fed and I don't know. He sounded very protective of you. He said your name with so much affection."

I stay looking at her quizzically. "What are you trying to say me to right now?"

She looks at me as though amused by my denial. "Honey, are you and Jasper together?"

My mouth hits the ground, and my tongue rolls to her feet. "Come again?" I sputter out.

"I don't know. I saw him drop you off, and touch your shoulder. He was looking at you very caringly. You're wearing men's pajamas right now. They look his size."

She speaks in a nice and certain way. As thought it wouldn't be that huge of a deal if Jasper and I were secretly together. What torrid romance novels is she reading?

"I thought maybe the reason why you freaked about Bella and them coming for dinner was because you thought they might reveal the secret. Or that maybe you were ashamed and taking it out on me."

"Mom," I start, trying to not run around the room screaming. "Jasper and I are friends. Maybe. Kind of. Basically. I guess so. WHATEVER it is we are in no way together, or will ever be. Shit Mom!"

The shock on my face shakes the pleasant look off of her. What? She's disappointed? Does she want me shacking it up with a vamp? Does she think I can't get a real living human boyfriend? Fuck, how big of a weirdo have I become?

A silence descends upon us. I don't know how to go about bringing up what happened yesterday, and apparently neither does she. I stay looking at her, hoping she'll get the point.

She looks up at me, finally. "Leah, I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have slapped you. I won't tolerate that attitude or yelling or swearing, but never again I promise."

I nod my head. "I'm sorry about that, but I meant what I said. I wish I said it better, but it's how I feel."

She inches herself to the corner of the sofa near me, and leans in to touch my knee.

"Leah, I'm sorry your life isn't what you wanted. If I could make things the way they were, trust me, I would. I miss your father. I love your father. Charlie, he's a good man. Bella, Edward, Nessie are a good family. I hope one day, you'll see that."

I lean in to hug her. "I don't think I'll ever understand why you moved on from Dad so quickly, but it's your life. You can make your own decisions. Just don't expect me to stay here Mom. As soon as I'm able I'm leaving."

"I understand, Leah. I do." She says, her voice holding back emotion.

I can't handle my mom's sadness. It eats at me. It was fine when my Dad died, to be there for her. Now, I can't help but feel anger towards her sadness. Although I can't comfort her, I can try not to hurt her.

Jasper told to be honest, but I can't. Honesty isn't always the best policy. The truth can mean different things for different people. My honesty will hurt her, no matter how calm I am about it. My mom knows that being with Charlie hurts me, but she's with him because he makes her feel better. It's a selfish decision, but maybe without him, she'd break entirely. I don't want to delve into it anymore. It will just make me sadder.

I stay with my mom in the living room for a couple of hours, watching TV and talking about idle things. There's that part of me that wants to yell at her, but it slowly goes away. Nothing good will come of it. I think of Jasper, trying to kill himself in a fire. The look on Esme's face when she found out. I've seen enough pain and suffering for a lifetime. I'm finally tired of fighting, and hurting.

This feeling could go away tomorrow, but I hope it doesn't. It's nice, to feel at peace, even if pieces of yourself still want to be at war. It's strange. Jasper had to completely lose control for me to gain some.

Jasper and Me? I was afraid my mom might think we duked it out, and instead she thinks we're secret lovers. We've only been going to class together for two weeks. What in the hell was she thinking? I'm just starting to think vamps aren't all bad. She must think I was drawn in by Jasper's brooding beauty. No thanks, not my flavor.

I decide to head up to my bedroom and study a bit. When I get there I find Seth laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. A day's work is never done.

"Wrong room." I say, going to sit at my desk. He's going to play the concerned brother crap on me, or yell at me about being mean to mom. Maybe both. I'm in the mood for neither.

He gets up and sits on the edge of the bed. "Leah, what's up with you and Jasper?"

"Seriously?" I say in disbelief. "Please don't tell me you bought into moms Secret Supernatural Lovers Theory."

He scratches his head. "Not really. I thought it was more likely you tried to kill each other. Jacob sounded really worried when he was on the phone with Bella. I just want to know what's going on."

I take a deep breathe and start explaining what happened. He's gonna find out anyway, from the Cullens or Jacob.

"You're a hero," Seth states proudly, after I've finished explaining.

"No, I'm not. Right place, right time."

He smiles at me, getting up from the bed. "No, you are. That was great what you did Leah."

He lowers himself and hugs my shoulders. "I'm happy you're okay, and that you like the Cullens now."

I put my arm around his waist. "Hey, I'm not a groupie like you. I still don't trust them. I will still be doing my job of being weary and cautious. Unlike some people I know."

He lets go and starts walking for the door. "Alright fine, I can live with that. Still going to class tomorrow?"

"Yup." I reply.

"Cool, tell Jasper I say to take care. I'll probably see him Wednesday. It's when Esme cooks spaghetti."

"Vampire spaghetti dinner? I'd double check that tomato sauce," I say. He laughs and closes the door behind him.

I open up my geology book and start reading. I almost want to cry, or laugh, or both. I've had one hell of a weekend. I'm so used to the horrible things that happen in my life now. I don't know if its being strong or denial that keeps me from losing it completely. Just as I'm starting to really concentrate on geology, someone comes walking through my door without any sort of greeting. I turn around to see Jacob. It's great how the men in my life respect my private space.

"Jake, I've been telling you for the past decade or so to knock before entering a girl's room." I say lazily, turning back to my book.

Jacob reaches a hand over to knock on the opened door, "Sorry, but you got rid of your No Boys Allowed sign so it's hard to remember. Anyways pack meeting out in the woods. I wanted to talk to you first. Since you're my Beta and all."

I turn my chair to him, feeling very tired and not in the mood for a meeting. "Oh, goodie. What's the meeting about?"

Jacob gives me a "Seriously?" look.

I let out a long "Oh." He obviously means the Jasper suicide situation.

"Yeah, I want to hear your version of the story. Bella told me what Jasper said."

I sigh and explain what happened. He, unlike Seth, is not taking it in stride.

He looks less then impressed with my heroic deed. "That shit is insane Leah. I can't believe you'd save him."

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask, knowing it's a dumb question. I don't fully know why I did. It was the right thing, but then again, on the grand scale of things the world would be safer with out him. I just don't know.

"You hate vampires. I'm sure you'd rather they all be dead."

"Jacob, don't ever tell me what I'd do. You might be the Alpha but your not all knowing," I say, sounding unperturbed but feeling completely on edge.

His expression becomes softer. "Alright, fine. I'm worried about Jasper and you still going to school. I think the guy is going to snap, and that it'll be on you."

"Jacob, I'm not an idiot. I'm the most detached from the vamps and I know what I'm doing,"

"How do you know?" he asks.

I shrug. "I just know. Edward's going to be keeping a close eye on him too."

Jacob looks grim. "Okay, I trust you Leah. But I'll be letting the Cullens know to be on high alert."

"Thanks for caring about my safety Fearless Leader," I say with a smile.

He smiles back. "Anytime. Now, close the book, it's business time."

"Let's get down to business." I reply, getting up from the desk to switch off my light and walk out the door.

I just talked about suicide, my possible homicide, and am going to a wolf pack meeting in my exhausted state. None of that phases me, and suddenly I think of something that pisses me off. Its hit me while we're walking off my porch onto the road. I punch Jacob in the back.

"Ah! Why?" Jacob yells, it didn't hurt but it still got him by surprise.

"You didn't say anything about my haircut," I say, shaking my head a little for emphasis.

"Shit. You did. Bella mentioned that. Sorry, it looks nice. Happy?"

I make a disgruntled sound. "Whatever. Your just jealous because you no longer have your once flowing locks."

The banter between Jacob and me is easy and familiar. I feel whatever heaviness from being alone contemplating in my room lift. It's time for a pack meeting, and I'm second in command. I didn't feel the same camaraderie or harmony in Sam's pack.

We get to Seth, Quil, and Embry in the woods. They all whistle when they see me. A chorus of voices saying "Beautiful hair!" "Hot new do?" "Looking good Leah!" greets me. I laugh with them, and feel lighter. My life isn't normal, but this is. Laughing with friends. It's as good as life gets. Although, Seth forgot to compliment me too. My mom must have told him when he walked out the door. Since he alerted the others I won't hit him that hard.

As Jacob talks to them about what happened, I remember something. I'm still wearing Jasper's clothes. Great, I'm sure the pack's going to comment on the sweet smell in the air any second now. My hand goes to my breast pocket and a finger dips inside to feel the soft petals of the four leaf clover. I was worried I lost it. Tomorrow, I'll be going back to Olympic with Jasper like nothing happened.

I'll need all the luck I can get.


	13. All Green

I know I am a terrible updater and it's been what like weeks since I have? Please bare with me lovelies I've been super busy. Bad news: I suck and haven't updated in way too long. Good news: I have like four chapters written out. They all need to be edited which is a project within itself, but they are out and about words on the screen. I'm sorry for any errors. I really wanted to get this out to you guys now but if little errors annoy you check the chapter in a week and they'll be edited. (=

Also, I'm a horrible fanfic updater but I have the cajones to make a request. Is there anyone who would want to Beta my story? I have someone who has agreed to for this story, and I'm very thankful, but I need someone who can edit rather quickly just for the time being since I feel like you guys deserve to get a lot of updates and fast. I really want someone who I can bounce ideas off of. This means some spoilage. Just message me if you're interested! Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, if I did I wouldn't have to have to waitress my life away.

* * *

I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and grimace. You should not have done that says a mocking voice in my head: It only makes you look worse.

I couldn't sleep last night, well I did, but it wasn't a very restful sleep. I kept waking up in a panic. I had adrenaline pumping through my veins like the levees broke. I knew it must be me still worrying something bad was going to happen. The Jasper situation affected me more then I thought. I'm still not completely jaded from traumatic scenarios.

Thank God we don't have classes in the morning, then I'd look like death on warm plate of ass. I spent the day just lying around, and am now getting ready for the classes I have today. I've decided to actually put some effort into my appearance, mostly out of boredom. Also, because Jacob told me that Jasper going out with me was not very believable if I kept dressing like a thirteen-year-old boy.

He also told me I should put more effort into my appearance in general, that I needed to go back to my old self. He was trying in the nicest possible way to tell me I'd let myself go. I wonder if Seth and my Mom told him to say that to me. Apparently, my severe emotional trauma license to wear holey jeans and ratty t-shirts is no longer valid at La Push.

I was kind of pissed, but looking at myself right now lessens it. I miss being my formal self. I kind of regret telling Jacob that "If you think I'm going to be given style advice by a guy who walks around without shirt or shoes, you are not only getting no service in any public establishment, but are bat shit fucking crazy."

I almost threw in a dig about him being too used to the Richie rich Cullen's high style wardrobe, but I let it go. Renesmee buys him Nike sneakers all the time. He gets mad when I call him a kept man. It hurts most male egos a bit to know your girlfriend makes more money then you. It must really suck to know your three-year-old future vampire human hybrid wife is going to be supporting you financially for eternity.

I debate putting on lipstick for a good ten minutes, and opt for not. Seth walks by the bathroom. looking in causally, he steps back looking shocked.

"Leah, are you wearing lipstick?" he asks me with obvious surprise. His eyes regard the lipstick with a sort of wonderment.

I put it down and roll my eyes at him. "No, but you can have it if you like it so much. It's so your color."

He stays at the doorway nonplussed by my comment; his "I want to tell Leah something but she'll probably get mad and verbally lash me" face is on. That face needs a shorter title.

"You look really nice today," he spits out.

"I don't look nice everyday?" I say, not looking towards him. He'll see the ball-busting twinkle in my eye.

He puts his hands out, "No! That's not what I mean! You look like yourself, like how you used to look, before you know that stuff well more then stuff..."

I grab his toothbrush from the sink and throw it at his face; it bops him lightly on the bridge of his nose.

"Calm down there Sethykins. I was bullshitting you. Thanks."

He smiles and laughs nervously. "You'd think I'd know when you are after a decade and more of it. Jasper's picking you up here today?"

"Yup," I answer, while curling my eyelashes. Seth watches the process like it's a medieval torture. I swear the boy would faint if he saw me pluck my eyebrows.

"Cool, maybe he'll come in and I can say hi," he says, picking up his toothbrush off the floor.

"No, he will not be coming in. If you want, run outside and say hi when he's here. You need to also grow a set and not tell Mom the truth, got it Jiminy Cricket?"

"I'm not!" he whines, then looks out in the hallway to see if Mom is in sight. "The secret is safe with me."

"Good to know, and that wasn't too obvious by the way. You should consider espionage as a career path."

He stays smiling. "I'll work on it. It's beautiful outside by a way, it's still cloudy but like in the fifties."

Seth stays talking with me as I finish getting ready. We soon both hear the beeping of a car horn and rush out of the bathroom. I pray to the higher powers my Mom doesn't hear it and want to go outside.

I grab my backpack and head for the door, grabbing the black linen jacket I left on the couch. Seth walks around in the kitchen nervously. He is so going to crack if my Mom asks him anything about Jasper. She could ask him where he put the peanut butter and he'd spill it. I am praying to the Trickster Gods he keeps a lid on it.

I give Seth a supporting looking as my hand rests on the doorknob. "Be strong, alright? Remember it's for the best."

He nods, looking a little nauseous. The boy wasn't made to lie. The doorknob starts moving in my hand. I step back and I do not like what I see when it opens. Jasper and my mother, standing side by side, like it is the most normal thing in the world. Shit, she was outside gardening. She's wearing her gardening gloves and covered in dirt next to the immaculate sparkling clean that is Jasper.

"Leah, you look so nice," my mother says in delighted surprise. She looks at Jasper happily. Oh great, she thinks I look nice for Jasper. Let's just have this crap train go through Leah city. Choo Choo.

"You're mother invited me in." he says, sounding like he's making a statement and asking a question at the same time.

My mother steps into the living room motioning for Jasper to follow her. He does so and she leads him to the kitchen. I follow behind him: Choo Choo.

I put my bag on the kitchen table. I start tapping my foot and look at the clock on the wall. My mom will get the message I'm sending: I have classes to go to and it is time to go. Seth is sitting at the table basically shoving a sandwich in his mouth. He must be trying to keep it blocked.

My mother gives me a patient look. "I just wanted to give Jasper this, to give to Esme."

She grabs a bear grass basket from below the sink. It has a red and brown border with a brown wolf in the center.

"That's beautiful." Jasper states upon seeing it.

"It is. Esme wanted one?" I ask her. The Quileute tribes were known for their basket weaving skills. They could make baskets so tight water could be boiled in them. Why would Esme want one?

"I guess Renesmee told her about them from seeing them at Jacobs house. Esme googled Quileute baskets and told me she really liked them. This one is more then two hundred years old."

Jasper and I nod at this weird tale. The fact that my Mom used the phrase googled is cringe inducing. I'd rather not have Jasper interact with my mother. He's older then her. It's unsettling. This basket is older then all of us. It creates a little knot in my stomach to think of it in a vamp's house. My ancestors must be rolling in their graves.

"Alright, well, we better get going. Grab the basket Jasper and let's bounce," I say, going to grab my bag off the table.

Jasper grabs my bag before I can and then puts his hands out for the basket. "Thank you. It's very nice of you to go out of you way like this for my mother."

Why in the hell did he have to grab my bag? Why does he have to get that Southern drawl when he's happy? Why must he make my mother think we're together unintentionally? The ancestors must be punishing me for letting my mother give the basket away. They're trying to tell me I need to go back to my bitch self. The ancestors have fucked with me enough. The vamps can keep the basket, so there ancestors. Next time I transform, it's gonna be a weasel, or maybe a worm.

I give my mom a steely smile, no more chitchat. "Bye mom!" I say, as I practically run for the door. She says thank you to Jasper and gives me a disapproving look.

"I don't want to be late Mom!" I whine, sounding a whole lot like Seth did earlier.

"You never cared in High School," she says, "I had to practically drag you out of bed."

Jasper laughs. I scowl. "Bye Mom, bye Seth."

"Bye Sue, bye Seth." Jasper says, smiling at them with those perfect pearly whites.

I can't believe a vampire entered my house. It's going to be struck by lighting and burn to the ground. We get to the car and I suddenly realize it's the Aston Martin. I'm not big on cars or anything, but this is so nice.

"We should blend right in," I deadpan to him as we get into the car.

The sight of the Quileute basket and the backpack on his arms is a sight I know would make Sam angry. If only he was here. I'd smack him with the basket, bear grass is no joke it's the ultimate bitch slap of baskets. Seth would know. I smacked him with one I have in my room plenty of times.

"What? Olympic is an expensive private school, there are plenty of rich kids," he says, while placing my backpack and the basket in the backseat.

"Yeah, yeah." I mutter, damn he has a point.

He starts up the car and looks over at me with that smirk. "You look nice. I like the boots."

"Thanks," I say. The reminder that I look kind of nice today helps to take me out of my funk. The boots are nice, light brown leather to the knee. A good thing about long legs is that they look good in high boots. Jasper is apparently going to be nice to me from now on. I wonder if he's indebted to me, if there's like a vampire code about life saving.

I could tell Jasper he looks nice too, but the guy looks nice every day. He couldn't have gone out with Alice for as long as he did and not have picked up some sense of style. He's not as formal as Edward, who wears leather oxfords everyday with a button down shirt. Jasper's also not an Emmet, a Abercrombie model/Frat house President. He's the vamp I'd rather be seen with.

The car ride isn't as awkward as I thought it would be. I start telling him about the Quileute baskets. We're still discussing them when we pull into an empty Olympic parking lot.

"What gives?" I ask, thinking there must have been a bomb scare or something.

Jasper smiles embarrassedly. "Shit, today is Patriots Day. After going to college a couple dozen times I managed to forget."

"I think you've had some bigger things on your mind." I say dryly. Great, all dressed up and nowhere to go.

"True. I guess we should head back. It's such a nice day outside though, did you see the signs for the Jazz Festival as we were driving?"

I nod my head, kind of guessing where this is going. "Yeah I did. It's an annual thing at Port Angeles. I've never went before though."

"Do you wanna go?" he asks me, looking apprehensive. "No, it's okay you don't have to go I'm sorry I asked."

I speak against the doubt I (And Jasper) can feel. "No, we should go. Why not? I have nothing else to do today. I blow-dried my hair. I better be out in public."

He laughs and takes the car out of the parking lot and into downtown Port Angeles. I'm not entirely sure how good an idea this is, but I'm done with over thinking things. Id be lying if I wasn't trying to piss Sam off, even if he doesn't find out I feel a sort of vindictive glee. I'm free from his control and can do whatever I want. I'm woman hear me roar.

People are all over the place, and I can see a stage set up in center of the park. I spot concession stands with food, and start to feel really hungry. Jasper somehow and someway finds parking. Another vampire power? I don't know the feeling someone gives when they leave a parking space. We get out of the car, and start walking around the park. I try to decide what I want to eat.

"Hungry? You've got lots of options." Jasper says, motioning all around us.

I start looking around at the concession stand signs. "I don't know, something easy to hold. I hate messy street food."

"Hey, I have an idea, wait a second," he says, running at human speed back to the car. I start looking around the park and then he's back at my side, with the basket.

"We'll put the food in this," he says, beginning to walk towards some food stands.

I walk beside him, "How much am I eating?"

"I've seen how Jacob and Seth eat," he starts, "so I'm guessing a lot."

I make sound of indignation. "Excuse me? You don't say that to a girl."

"First off, you're a woman, not a girl. Secondly, you're not fat if that's what you thought I meant."

I grab the basket from his hand and start walking towards a hot dog stand. "Alright, you're off the hook. Let's get some grub."

"A hot dog? Do you know what those are made of?" he says to me.

I raise my brows at him, "This coming from a guy who sucks blood out of forest animals?"

We get to the stand and he gives the rolling simmering hot dogs a look of disgust.

"So, two hot dogs?" says the vendor to us both.

Jasper shakes his head, "No thanks. I'm on a raw food diet."

The laugh that escapes me confuses the vendor and makes Jasper smile. I take great joy in having a big bite of my hot dog right in front of his face. The smile turns into a look of nausea.

* * *

"Jasper, did you use your power of persuasion to get this great placement?"

Jasper shrugs his shoulders, "Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't."

I laugh. The vampire powers irk me, but they can have their benefits to my life. Such as getting a great place to sit near the stage. It's not so close that it's too loud, but also not too far. These college aged guys suddenly got up from where they were sitting. I wonder what emotion Jasper made them feel? I munch on the food in the basket, Jasper's face mixed between grossed out and amused.

"Do you remember what real food tastes like?" I ask him, taking a bite out of some fried dough.

"No, not at all. I can remember how happy it made me. My mom used to make the best pancakes and sausage. By the time I was changed though, food wasn't all that great to begin with anymore."

I'm betting Civil War cuisine was less then tasty. "Lots of beans?" I ask.

He smirks grimly. "Yup, and hard ass biscuits. I remember how much I missed coffee."

I nod my head. "I'd miss coffee too."

"It stunts your growth," he says, looking from my feet to my head.

"As you can see my body didn't get the message."

He turns his head back to the stage, "Nothing wrong with being tall. You can reach things. Maybe, play a mean game of basketball."

I lean back on my hands, "Yeah I liked playing basketball in school, but the height didn't really make me any better."

We both listen to the music peacefully. There's a ton of people here, it makes me a little nervous for Jasper's control. He looks fine though. I sway my head a little to the music.

"Whose your favorite jazz musician?" Jasper asks me, as the next band prepares to go on.

"Tough choice. I'm going to say Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughn, and Nina Simone. John Coltrane and Duke Ellington. And Dizzy Gillespie. I can't choose."

He laughs, "Yeah, that is more then a favorite. I love Nina Simone's voice, the grit and the beauty. It's a once in a lifetime kind of thing."

"Hi, I'm sorry to bother you two."

Jasper and I look to the right of us to see two young teenagers. The one who spoke is a boy, gangly with wire rimmed glasses.

"Yes?" Jasper says, making the redheaded girl in the duo start giggling. She has enough shame to clasp her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

"We're part of the High School newspaper and we helped to fund this event. We're taking pictures, but there's not a lot of people dancing."

Jasper and I give him expectant looks.

The girl steps to his side, blushing. "What he means is, we'd like more people dancing. It might help others want to dance to," she says shakily, staring at me and not Jasper. Her gaze can't help but linger over to him.

"You want us to go up there and dance?" I ask dubiously.

"Please," they both say.

The moment I'm about to say no, a kid walking by taps Henry on the shoulder and then keeps walking. Henry turns his head, grimacing.

"Have a nice Jazz Festival cheese dick!" he yells to him, laughing with his cronies.

I hate bullies. I want to stand up and kick that kid's ass, but I'd rather not be arrested for assaulting a group of minors. Henry rubs his shoulder, and looks at us dejectedly.

"It's okay, we just thought we'd ask," he mutters.

"No, we'll do it." I find myself saying, standing up.

Jasper gets up slowly but not surely, "We are?"

"Yeah, one dance won't hurt. It'll be swell." I reply, so confused by what I'm saying, I used a work like swell.

The bright smiles on both their prepubescent faces almost make up for what I'm about to do.

We walk to the dance floor in front of the stage. Jasper puts a hand on my waist, and the other takes my hand. My other hand rests on his shoulder. I've never slow danced like this. I go for the easy and modern hands around guy's neck, guy's hands around girl's waist. These better all be slow jams or Henry is going to get it in the bridge of his eyewear.

We sway slowly from side to side, several other couples spaced out around us. Jasper and I are easily the youngest here. I don't have to reach to far to get my mouth near Jasper's ear.

"Put people in a less inhibited mood." I whisper.

I put my head back down. Jasper smiles mischievously. "You are genius."

I look at the people sitting in front of us. "Everyone wants to dance Jasper, they're just afraid."

"Did you want to dance?" he asks me.

"Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't," I say, with a southern twang.

"Please, don't ever do that again. The South might sink into the Atlantic."

I laugh, "It's not my fault you're southern inflection is rubbing off on me."

"I had to mask it once I joined the Cullens, but it's never fully gone away."

"Good. I find it entertaining. If I close my eyes I can imagine I'm Scarlet O'Hara," I say dramatically.

He laughs and looks at me warmly, "You can be real funny when you want to. In a non mean way."

"I've always been a jokester, and not always a bitter shrew," I say, now with more of a British accent.

"Wow! I can't believe it worked!" Henry shouts, now beside Jasper and me.

Mattie smiles triumphantly at his side. "I told you. They're good looking. People want to be around good looking people."

She blushes beet red when she realizes what she's said. "Uh, I mean that… Yeah, I meant that. God, I'm sorry."

I squeeze Jasper's arm a little, looking toward Henry whose looking at the flustered Mattie with goo goo eyes, and then Jasper with jealousy. Jasper gets my point and in no time the two kids are dancing together.

"He just needed some confidence, and she needed some calming down." I say to him, letting him spin me. The vamps showing off his fancy dance moves.

"I thought you didn't like when I used my powers," he asks me mockingly.

"I like when I use your powers, kidding. It was for a good cause." I say, still looking at the new couple.

He looks at them in a tired but nice way. "A boy nervous to ask a girl to dance? I guess so."

"I'm guessing you asked many a Southern Belle to a square dance." I say, noticing the looks where getting. The looks Jasper is getting to be more accurate.

"You could say that," he says in a low voice, looking down at his feet.

Jasper's past was so long ago, but it still affects him. I'm not that nosy so I'm not about to pry further. It's interesting though, he's a living breathing relic of the past. After a couple of songs I notice the sun is setting. I look at Jasper's watch, shit we should have left like twenty minutes ago. I want to still pretend like we went to class today.

"We should go," I say to Jasper, looking towards the setting sun.

"Yeah, we should. Let's grab the basket and go. Do you want to get anything to eat for the road?"

God! The guy must really think I'm a heffer, but now that's he mentions it…

"I'm going to grab a candy apple at the stall right there. Come meet me over there when you get the basket."

Jasper nods and goes toward the basket. The candy apple stand isn't that far away. There's not any people near where we were sitting. We brought them all to the dance floor. I still keep my eyes on him. A part of me trusts him, but another knows the slightest thing could set him off.

I order a candy apple and say a thank you when it's handed to me. I start walking towards Jasper, but a man steps in front of me.

"Excuse me," I say, sidestepping him.

I quickly asses that he's around my age, probably a couple years older actually. He has short but shaggy dark brown almost black hair. His face is pretty, with pale blue eyes, hollowed cheeks, and high cheekbones. He might be good looking, but he's missing some lessons on private space etiquette.

He steps back in front of me. "I couldn't help but notice you on the dance floor. The man you were with, was that your boyfriend?" he asks, with a British accent.

Interesting, but not interested.

"No thanks," I say, trying to walk past him. He steps in front of me, again.

"It's just a question, a yes or no question. How well do you him?" he asks, sounding less like Prince Charming and more like the Spanish Inquisition.

"Look, matey, I'm not interested. You're a good looking guy there's a girl out there who would love to put up with your ugly insides."

I walk past him, but he grabs my right arm by the elbow. I could just yell for help and cause a scene, but I'm not the yell for help kind of girl. I drop the candy apple from my left hand and give him a buck fifty to the face. I have above average strength, so he wasn't expecting my arm to so easily get out of his grasp. He staggers back, holding onto his face.

"Shit! That hurt. Who the hell are you?" he snarls, standing up straight and lunging towards me. I plant my feet, ready for a fight. Jasper stands in front of me in the nick of time. The nick of time for this asshole. I could have kicked his ass without the super human strength.

He grabs the guy by a shoulder, and to my eyes he only lightly taps him. Everyone else here is going to think he shoved him with all his might. Since the guy is propelled through the air onto the candy apple stand.

"Oh, shit!" I shout. I start thinking we should high tail it before we get arrested. The crime: destruction of candy apple maker property by good looking but scummy citizen of the British Isles. My fears leave me as everyone around us starts shouting in our defense.

A woman comes up next to, patting my arm. "Are you okay honey? He was getting rough with you. That was an amazing punch though. Do you take self defense?"

"The police won't be necessary. Thank you for your concern." Jasper says soothingly to the woman.

The woman nods her head in a stupefied way as she backs up. Everyone else around us stops with the frantic chatter. They all start resuming their business.

"Let's go," Jasper says, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him.

"Alright, alright!" I agitatedly whisper, yanking my hand from his too hard grasp.

"I'm sorry," he rushes out. "Are you okay? I'm just so angry I need to get away from these people."

I get what he's saying, and grab his hand. "Don't worry Jasper, just focus on me okay. My voice. We're almost to the car. Remember these people have families and loved ones and…"

He cuts me off, "I'm only hungry for one person's blood, the guy who wanted to hurt you. I felt his rage. It was murderous. It's of very little interest to me if he has family."

I can't help but shudder a little, "What a psycho. He kept asking if you were my boyfriend. It was pretty standard creep behavior. He grabbed my arm so I freaked and punched him in the face. My bad."

"No, he deserved it. He deserved worse." Jasper says, his eyes growing more animalistic by the second.

We get to the car and I put my hands on his face, "Look at me and focus. It's fine. That stuff happens."

"It doesn't make it right," he says painfully, barely able to get the words out.

"I can take care of myself." I say firmly, my hands going to hold onto his shoulders.

"I know you can," he says softly but dangerously, his hand cupping my chin. "You have a scratch here, why?"

"When I punched him, I scratched myself in the process with my thumbnail. It will heal in like a minute, it's nothing."

He thumb lightly touches the scar. It cools the cut nicely. "It looks like something to me." He continues, in that voice that is half alluring and terrifying.

"What color were your eyes when you were human?" I find myself asking out of nowhere. I have to get him thinking of something else.

He looks confused but his hand goes from my chin to my temple. "They were hazel."

I start rattling off anything that comes to mind. "That means they were green and brown right? Where they more green or brown? Did they change in different lighting? Or when you felt different?"

"They were mostly green with brown and blue. My mother used to say they looked more blue when I was angry."

"How about when you were happy?" I say quickly. Good thoughts Jasper let's stay on good thoughts.

"Green, all green." he says, hand dropping from my face. "I'm sorry for that. I'm fine now we can go."

"No, it's fine. You did good." I say, my hands still on his shoulders. I take them off and motion towards the car.

"Want me to drive?" I ask. It is my mission to lighten the mood.

"Seriously?"

"Please?" I say, smiling big. This smile may be fake, but at least it's there.

"Why not?" he says, sounding more playful again while handing me the keys.

I get into the car and look to the passenger seat to see Jasper with the basket. I start laughing, he looks at me worriedly.

"You stayed holding onto the basket?" I ask him in disbelief.

"Yeah, I tapped him with my non-basket holding hand," he says, sounding almost offended that I'd think he'd leave it.

"Good job," I say, backing the car up. This is the nicest car I 'v ever been in let alone drive.

"Don't worry, if you scratch it, it's not big deal."

"Ye of little faith! I'm about to be the female Quileutae James Bond." I exclaim, while turning on the radio. I'll show him that humans can drive human made cars just as well as vamps.

"Leah, I'm sorry again," he says after ten minutes or so.

"Jasper, if you say sorry one more time, I'll kick you out of your own family owned vehicle." I say, taking a turn a little too sharply to make my point.

"Alright fine, but I owe you, more then I already do."

"Fine, add it to your bill." I say, my eyes staring at him from the side.

He starts finally looking happier. "Today was great, besides that."

"It was, definitely one of the best days I've had in like a year or two."

"Really?" he asks me.

"I don't get out much, but even for that, it was a nice day," I say, smiling.

Jasper looks even happier to hear that I'm happy. Vampires may not have honor codes for life saving, but Jasper does.

I look over at Jasper, and remember how close our faces were. I was close enough to count every pore, except they don't exist on his face. It was just a white smooth canvas. He used to have hazel eyes, that's appropriate. The guy himself is complicated, just like his former eye color. That is irony for you. Jasper almost killed someone not out of bloodlust, but for me. My ancestor's punishment for giving him the basket? Whatever ancestors, he showed himself worthy. He didn't let go of the thing, and he was defending me, not that I needed the defending.

It just shows he really cares about it.

* * *

"Leah, how was school yesterday?" my mom asks me from across the kitchen table.

"A typical day." I answer, taking a sip of my tea.

I know, I'm a liar liar and my pants are in flames. She would give birth to sunshine and rainbows if she knew Jasper and I hung out. I know Edward will find out, but I doubt he'll broadcast that information. If he aired everyone's private thoughts and doings, the family would have killed him by now.

"Oh, really? Anything interesting happen?" she persists, looking up from her paper to give me a hard look.

"Nope," I say, my mouth making a popping noise.

"I don't want you to freak honey, but you have a twin."

I put my mug down and stare at the paper in front of her. "Excuse me?"

She turns the paper around. Jasper and me are on the front page of the Port Angeles Gazette. It's a great picture. My haircut really is fantastic. They took it right when he finished turning me. I'm smiling brightly, he's laughing happily. Fuck you Port Angeles Gazette!

"Hey! Don't they need my consent?" I yell angrily, knowing that this desperate attempt to change the topic will not work.

"It says here in the article that a Henry Richio asked you and Jasper to dance hoping it would attract others. He said your affection and ease with each other encouraged others to join in on the fun."

I grab my mug and start sipping tea like I'm hitting the bottle. You know how they say to do it for the kids? Fuck that officially, never helping the kids again. Stay calm Leah, You did nothing wrong. You're twenty years old she can't ground you.

"Yeah we stopped by the festival. Our last class got out early. The kid begged us I felt bad."

"Try again, I know your school was closed yesterday," she says, stilling holding the front page in my view.

I try very hard to not slam down my mug. "Mom, it was nothing. We got to school not knowing it was going to be closed. Then, we decided to catch the festival. I didn't tell you cause I didn't want you making a huge deal out of it."

She shakes her head at me. "Look, I call it like I see it. You two look very happy in this picture."

"Mom, enough." I snap, my tone clearly announcing the finality of our conversation.

"Fine, but I don't want you lying to me," she says, giving her paper a good shake to emphasize her point.

I nod my head. That went better then expected. She's still in la la land about Jasper and I, but maybe now she'll stop hassling me. I hear a knock at the door and go to the living room. I look through the window to see Jasper.

I throw open the door angrily, "You should have just honked."

Jasper steps inside, not bothered by my attitude. "Good afternoon to you to. Where's your mom?

"I'm here," she says, coming to stand next to me. The newspaper still in her hand.

Jasper hands her a small lilac envelope. "Esme wanted me to give you this thank you note. She really loved the basket."

"How nice of her, thanks for bringing it to me. You and Leah made the front page, by the way."

She holds the newspaper up to him. I put my head in my hands, groaning in embarrassment.

"I've seen it," Jasper says nonplussed. "Esme cut out the picture and put it on our fridge."

"What a great idea," my mom chirps, smiling at me.

Did he have to say that? I put a huge frown on my face. "Oh, great."

"Take her away from here Jasper. You're the only one that makes her happy these days," she says, one hand holding the paper, another circling our picture with an index finger.

She walks back to the kitchen. I am speechless.

"You'll catch flies that way," Jasper says to my wide-open mouth of shock.

"Good…I'm hungry!" I stammer, rushing past him to the car.

I can hear him chuckling to himself behind me. I'll admit my comeback was weak, which is not a good sign. I can already tell this is going to be a let's screw with Leah type of day.

Jasper walks over to me from Stevens looking glum. My day has just gotten crappier. I can tell she said no to us changing scenes. When Jasper told me that he was positive we wouldn't do the scene, it was because he would be dead, not because he'd charm her eventually.

"She said no?" I ask, standing up from my chair.

He stands in front of me, "She won't budge, and I gave her my best." He throws a mean look towards the she in question.

"We have no choice. Let's memorize our lines. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a really bad cold that I don't want to share.

Jasper looks at me assuredly. "Alright, sounds like a plan. Dry read?"

I nod and take the script from my chair, and then also pass him his. I've looked at the script a couple times. It won't be too hard to memorize. Jasper and I start reading our lines, but are interrupted.

"You guys don't have them memorized yet?" says the somewhat raspy voice of Amber. Whether the sexy rasp of her voice is real or faked is up for debate.

Jasper and I turn to her and then give each other a look that makes us smirk. We don't need to be Edward to know what the other is thinking.

"We'll be fine." Jasper says tiredly to her.

"I'm sure you will," she says, her hand going through her hair while staring at Jasper.

He starts looking at his shoes and bends down to retie his laces. The deflated look on Amber's face makes me suppress a snicker. Gavin comes to stand by Amber as Jasper stands back up.

"Hi guys, how's the scene going?" he says, looking at us both with a smile.

"Good, just trying to memorize lines." I answer curtly.

"I can't wait to see you guys. Although, you are the competition," he says gravely.

I look up from my script at this, "I didn't realize this was one. What's the prize?"

Gavin smiles. "Bragging rights, and maybe a bag of whatever candy of your choosing."

"Who's judging?" I ask.

"We'll ask the class at the end. I like Swedish fish by the way," he says with a wink.

I scoff, "Reese Pieces please. Swedish fish? Eat some real candy."

"What?" he says, "Real candy?"

I shrug my shoulders. "It's like plastic."

His eyes widen in mock anger. "Oh, that's it. You can challenge my acting ability, but don't insult my treat."

I open my arms to him, "Bring it on bad candy lover."

Gavin does the same while walking backwards toward his seat. Amber had walked back to her seat during the conversation. Jasper looks at me in a bemused way.

"You were flirting," he says, smiling a bit.

"I was not! I was throwing the down the gauntlet of theatre battle." I say defensively.

Jasper laughs but keeps looking at me knowingly. "Hey, nothing to get defensive about. Gavin likes you, a lot. He wants to get to know you."

"Matchmaker Matchmaker let's not make me a match. Let's memorize these lines."

We resume reading our lines, but Jasper keeps giving me looks I can only describe as diabolical. He better not be thinking to set me up with Gavin. To him, it might be a way to repay me for saving his life.

I'd much prefer cold hard cash.

* * *

Hope people like it. Please review! I know I know big balls to ask but they really encourage me and let me know people are reading.

In terms of what's going on in the story: Patriot's Day in my neck of the woods means no school. Also, the Jazz Festival is something that does happen in Port Angeles, but not how I described. Jasper's human eye color might have been said to be different by Meyer, but I took some creative liberty with it.

Much love to you all. And to all those who have finals, it's time for some collective prayer ya'll.


	14. Fall Breeze

Another chapter! See, I'm doing better. It's all thanks to my wonderful new beta dress up romance xx. Applause for her please. The story is going to get crazy so enjoy these next few peaceful chapters. (=

By the ways, the scene JasperxLeah are performing is real and here's the link if anyone wants to read it: .

And of course I plead with you to please review. I just want to know people are still reading. Thanks to ya'll (some Jasper lingo) and I hope you like this chapter.

Disclaimer: Twilight is not and will never be mine.

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"Leah, we've been at this for hours."

"Jasper, we have to beat them." I growl defiantly.

He puts himself on my window seat, looking drained by our three hours of practice. I had him bring us straight to my house after school, and then dragged him upstairs to my room. We not only need to memorize the script, but perfect our scene. It's not enough to know your lines; you have to know how to act them out. You have to make a scene and the characters. We have to win.

Jasper looks at me, nonplussed by my statement. "Why? Do you really like peanut butter candy that much? I will buy you your own damn bag. A lifetime supply."

I sigh, aggravated at his lack of competitive spirit. "Jasper, this is not about candy! This is about winning! We are a team!"

Jasper laughs. "I never knew you were this competitive. Then again, I should have. I've seen you in a fight."

I put my hand out and raise it, indicating that he needs to get up so we can practice this scene again. He gets up as though it hurts to, like he's drained and just wants to lie down.

"Hey, you don't feel tired, ever. So, suck it up." I say, but then shake my head. "No sucking anything actually."

"Ha, funny" he responds while taking the wheelie chair in front of me. I take a breath, ready to start the scene once again.

It's a one-act play, about ten minutes. The scene is this: Two movie theatre cashiers (One Boy and One Girl) having a sort of flirtatious banter. The girl is constantly changing the subject and doesn't really answer any real questions the guy asks her. The guy seems attracted and intrigued by her eccentric behavior. He's new to the job so they've just met. They end up sharing a kiss after speaking about choices and regret. I really like it. It's funny and sweet. I can't believe Stevens picked something I like. It's too bad it involves a kiss, cause it ain't gonna happen.

We get to the scene where we're supposed to kiss and ignore it like we've done this whole time. I'm nervous that if we don't do this kiss we won't win. I can't let Amber win. Most of the guys will want to vote for her just cause they wanna bang her. Luckily, there are way more girls in the class. Gavin is a cute guy, but Jasper is for all means and purposes the most fuckable man they've ever shared oxygen with. It's just a fact and I will use it to my advantage.

"I think the scene is great. You're hilarious. I'm supposed to be more of the straight man anyway." Jasper says, taking a spin in his chair.

I nod and try to find the best words to critique his performance. "Cool, but you need to be a little more…normal."

Jasper looks at me, surprised. "What do you mean normal?"

"You're a little too charming. This guy's more awkward. He's in choir."

"Cool guys do choir," he says, sounding offended. Did he used to sing or something?

"Okay, I'm sorry that's judgmental. But still you're acting confident and sexy... You need to act more like a teenage boy, and less like a man."

"You think I'm sexy?" he asks, now sounding very surprised.

I scoff at him, "You're charming and girls find that attractive. It's a southern thing. It must be in your blood."

"I haven't been charming in a long time. I used to be irresistible for my personality," he says; sounding wistful, like he always does when he speaks of the past.

"A vampire's life is not a charmed one," I mutter, while picking my script up from the floor to look at it again.

"Its been getting better."

"Seriously?" I ask, with my eyes still focused on the script.

He chuckles softly, "Yeah, seriously. I think it's like the worst has to happen before the good can, you know? You hit rock bottom, and look up at the sky. You can only go up, and only get closer."

I actually took my eyes off the script while he spoke. I looked at him more intently then I think I've ever had. I can understand why people found him charming, and irresistible in his human days. His southern inflection came out while he was speaking. I can almost imagine his words like notes on a bar of music coming out of his mouth. The words flow together, in a deep and earthy song. It envelops you. I shake myself from the daze he put me in.

"That's nice." I say, unable to think of anything else.

I'm very eloquent. The beauty and intellectual depth of my words could be compared to the laugh of a newborn, and the crinkling pages of ancient literature. A knock on my door saves me from my own stupidity. I get up to open it, and I'm saved by the Seth.

"Thank god," I say, realizing he has a mug of coffee in his hands. I take it from him and sit back down in my chair. He comes in, sitting on my bed. I open my mouth to tell him to skidat, but then realize I have an audience.

"Seth, I love you. First, you bring me coffee. Second, you are going to watch our performance."

Seth smiles and nods enthusiastically. He really is a special kind of guy. We do the scene for him, and instead of just saying "Great job!", he puts his hand on his chin, pondering.

"Leah, be more quirky. I like how you're in control though, cause from the script here I can tell she's kind of Type A. The guy with her isn't exactly the smoothest guy around, but he is relaxed around her."

Jasper looks at me while Seth speaks, impressed. I give him a look that says "That's right." I'm not the only lover of theatre in my family.

"We need to make sure to be creative. I'm sure Amber is going to just play her as really hyperactive and weird. I want her to be a girl who's always putting on an act, but its very natural for her. A female hustler of low self esteem men."

Jasper nods, spinning his chair back to face me. "I think I should play Joshua as more indie guy then complete dork. She tells him about her attraction to dorks. She must think he doesn't seem like one."

To hear words like indie guy and dorks come out of Jasper's mouth doesn't seem to fit. We do the scene again.

Seth gets a questioning look on his face. "Leah, you guys are supposed to kiss. You're going to tomorrow right?"

I give Seth a dumbfounded look. "No, we're not. I'm going to say I have a bad cold I don't want to spread."

Seth gives me a look I often see on my face. The one that is a combination of irritated, annoyed, and disbelief. I'm so going to talk to him about it when Jasper leaves. I can't just kiss a vamp. Is he crazy? I'm sure he'd kiss Jasper. He's got no problem smooching the undead. He's never kissed the living he wouldn't now the difference.

"Leah, we don't have to kiss to win this, alright?" Jasper says to me. He's picking up on my troubled state.

"No, it's cool. We're gonna kick ass." I say, not really believing it now. I keep thinking of how Amber could easily be a ballerina, like the girl in the scene. I'm too tall, and possessing of that thing called body fat.

"Hey, stop it. You'll be great. Amber has nothing on you, in any way." Jasper says, wheeling his chair closer to mine, to lower his head and look directly at me.

Seth looks at us weirdly, and then gets up from the bed. "It's eleven guys. I'm going to sleep. Good luck tomorrow."

He walks out the door, but then pokes his head in. "Kiss the boy, Leah. I know you hate to lose."

Before I can yell any obscenities or threats, I hear his door defiantly shut and then lock itself. He must be afraid I'll try to get him in his sleep. If I wanted him I'd just break down the damn door.

"Little brothers…" I say under my breath, getting up to stretch. "I better get some shut eye. We have this down pat. Thanks Jasper, for staying this long."

Jasper gets up, not stretching or yawning like human me. "No problem. I'm surprised you let me in your room."

"I just felt more comfortable practicing here." I say, acting nonchalant when really it was a big deal. I don't know what came over me, the competitive side that's what.

Luckily, my mom is staying at Charlie's tonight. Which semi if not totally pisses me off. I'm not religious or anything but it's weird to think of my mother sleeping with another man. Ew, serious ew. At least it's not here, that I would not allow. If she saw Jasper and I walking upstairs to my room, she'd freak. A higher power was pulling the strings for me today. If so, then I'm wishing they pull in my favor tomorrow too.

I give Jasper a stern look, the kind given in trenches during WWII. "Remember Jasper, tomorrow we have to beat those preppies. Gavin might look edgy, but that boy bleeds trust fund."

He laughs, but raises his brows, "Have a problem with rich boys?"

"Not a problem. It just means his character's in question. When you have everything handed to you, you just don't have the same mentality as those who have to work for it."

He shrugs. "Maybe you're right. I guess you'll find out if you keep talking to Gavin."

"Okay, enough with the ominous date Gavin things you do,"

Jasper goes to my window and opens it, "No need to raise sand at me, Leah. See you tomorrow. Sweet dreams."

Raise sand? What? The guy gets more southern by the minute. He then jumps out my window. My reaction should have been to scream, but instead I go to the window, and stick my head out.

"I've got neighbors you know." I call down to his blonde head. He puts his face up to me, a smile on his face with a lock of blonde hair in his face a bit.

"I don't think they can see me through all these trees," he calls up at me, his hand resting on a tree near my window.

I try to yell down to him in a hushed voice. "The Quileute eye is well trained, bud. You could have at least climbed the tree. Showoff."

He starts walking away, but stays looking at me. "I'll remember that for next time."

I put my head back inside and close my window. I roll my eyes just for myself. Remember that for next time? Maybe he's thinking we're going to have another slumber party with Renesemee.

I start changing into my pajamas, but then realize that there's yelling going on outside my window. I go over and look outside. What in the fuck? Am I really seeing Sam yelling at Jasper near my driveway right now? I finish putting my shorts on and open the window.

I swing my legs to sit on the ledge and grab onto a branch. I'm thinking I'll just swing to the tree and climb down. I do grab the branch but it snaps. I start falling to the ground. I give a little yell of "Fuck!" I brace myself to hit the ground.

Instead of hitting the ground, I'm caught in a strong basket of arms while still in the air. Whoever grabbed me hits the ground with a firm stance. I open my eyes to see Jasper has caught me perfectly on my back and legs.

"Good catch," I say with a shaky exhale, my adrenaline pumping. I wasn't going to die or anything, but it's a little scary to fall from a second floor window. It also would have hurt like a bitch.

"Nice fall. Are you okay?" he says, grinning somewhat sheepishly. He sounds worried. Gosh, I'm a wolf girl not a damsel in distress there's no need to be worried.

"I'm fine, what's up with Sam?" I ask, feeling so comfortable in the cradle of his arms I don't think to get up right away.

"Hands off her!" Sam yells, snapping out of his trance of disbelief.

Jasper holds onto me tighter. Men can be so ridiculous. I put my arm around Jaspers neck to let myself down. Sam looks at me like I have nine heads and just breathed out fire.

"Leah, what is going on here?" he asks through gritted teeth, pointing from me to Jasper.

"I fell out my window, because of whatever the hell is going on with you!" I yell, pointing at myself and then my window.

"We were working on a scene for class tomorrow, like I said before," Jasper says lazily, his arms crossed like an enforcer.

"There's your answer, not that it is anything close to your business. My life and your business have two different zip codes, Sam." I shout, which is a huge contrast to the cool as a cucumber Jasper.

Sam looks like he's about to throw a major tizzy. "He shouldn't be with you in your room. It's inappropriate for you two to be alone in there."

I start laughing, like bending over type of laughter. I lean against the tree I failed to climb down. Jasper looks at me like I might need some medical attention. Sam continues to look pissed off.

"That is one of the funniest things I've ever head. Thanks for that." I say, not sounding in any bit entertained.

His fists keep clenching tighter with anger. "Leah, what is with you? You hate them, and you had one in your house? I saw you two on the newspaper. Dancing? Have you lost it?"

I sigh wearily and point out to the road. "Sam, get off my property."

Sam looks at me, aghast. "I'm a pack leader concerned about a Quileute citizen. I don't care about personal property."

My fists clench tighter, the nails digging into my skin. I want to change, and I want to run Sam over. He thinks he can just come into my life and tell me what to do and disrespect me at my house!?

Jasper puts his arm around my shoulders. "Calm down, Leah. Sam knows that he shouldn't be acting like this. He's being very unlike his usual statesman like self."

Sam's anger seems to have dulled in his face, but his eyes see Jasper's arm around my shoulders. He's misinterpreting it, of course.

"Get your arm off of her," he yells, taking a step toward us.

Jasper steps in front of me but I step in front of him. "Sam, cool it. Don't do something you're going to regret. I can take care of myself. Leave now."

Sam steps back with one last withering look. He turns around and goes back to the road, without a word to me. I'm so angry I want to burst. Jasper grabs my hand, the old calm down Leah before she wolfs out trick.

"You okay?" he asks.

I take my hand back to run it through my hair. "I'm fine. Just fine. Where in the hell did he come from?"

"He was sitting on your front step. He must have been waiting to talk to me after he saw my motorcycle."

"He is such…" I start agitatedly, "a…a…dick! How dare he? This is my freaking house! That crap he said, 'Oh I'm a pack leader I'm the Grand Poo Bah oh la la la.' I'm not even in his pack!"

"You're not," Jasper starts knowingly, "but he still considers you his."

I start pacing around the yard in frustration. My hand's going up and down like the conductor of an orchestra.

"What!? He was always on the protective side but this is on the bat shit crazy side. I'm gonna have to bring this up with Jacob. Sam can't just come over here on my property threatening to kick your ass. Which I don't even get! He thinks you'll try to suck my blood in my own home?"

Jasper grabs me by a sleeve to pull me in front of him, "Slow down there, Pokey. He wasn't afraid I'd suck your blood."

I feel so confused, and almost yell at Jasper to explain this to me, but then have that moment of realization.

"Oh shit, Gumby. He thinks you…" I start saying, pointing to him. "And me are together?" I finish, now pointing to myself.

He nods which makes me growl in anger. "Wonderful. Everyone at the rez is going to think me and you are knocking boots. We're just friends! Damn me and my competitiveness."

I start pacing again, "Then again it's none of their freaking business! If I want to bring you into my home then it's my business."

"It is," Jasper says cautiously, watching me like I'm a bomb about to explode.

"Yeah, it is. Sam is getting a talking to. He better not have ruined my mojo for tomorrow. "

He laughs, his hands now in his pockets. "I think your mojo will be fine."

I bite the inside of my lip, still feeling on edge. "It better be. I need to go to sleep now, before something else shitty happens."

"Yeah, you should. I'm sorry for causing you trouble. I should have just gone out the front door."

I put my hand up, stopping the apology. "No, it's my bedroom. I can have anyone I want crawling out of there." I realize how weird that sounds after I say it. Ah well.

Jasper's smirk is halfway between embarrassed and amused. "That's right. I'll see you tomorrow. It's supposed to rain. I'll pick you up in a car."

"A car? Mystery. Okay, see you tomorrow." I say, watching Jasper walk down my driveway and onto his motorcycle. I start chuckling a little to myself. Sam thinking Jasper and I are getting it on in my bedroom. I feel a bitter sort of satisfaction that it hurt him, even if it's so not true.

I walk back into my house and go up the stairs to my room. I wasn't about to climb the tree to get back in. I have my dignity. I get into my room and close the window. I look outside of it for a while. I can't believe that I fell out my window, and Jasper caught me. Then, to add to this sundae of messed up, Sam saw this and thought Jasper and I were doing the nasty in my room.

Sam was waiting for Jasper to leave through the front door to have a little talk with him. He was most likely just going to be stern and less crazy pissed. The crazy pissed must have come from hearing a sound near my window, and then me and Jasper's conversation.

I go and grab my script off my chair, to sit at my desk and read it over some more. Of course the recent event won't leave my mind. It was like a soap opera love triangle, except neither person has feelings for me. It was really a fight over nothing. Sam might sill love me, but nothing beats an imprint.

Why does he have to keep dropping into my life, just when I stop thinking about him? Sam never used to climb up that tree into my room now that I think about it. He used to throw rocks at my window though. It must have been a punch to the gut for Sam to see Jasper standing where he once did. Jasper might not realize it, but he's lucky. The one who left him left the country.

Mine is down the street and to the left.

"Let me just say again Jasper, great choice of duds."

Jasper smiles at my compliment after laughing at a string of kind of lame jokes. He knows how nervous I am. The more nervous I am, the more jokes I make. I'm dead serious about the duds though. We envisioned Joshua to be a sort of geek chic, an Adam Brody if you will. Jasper is more of a Ralph Lauren poster boy. His style's gotten less preppy since Alice left though. He's like a clean version of an Urban Outfitters model.

"You look nice yourself," he says, not looking at his lines like me. I don't want him to calm me. It won't be a real win.

I keep re-reading my script fervently. "Thanks, in the script it says their wearing polyester uniforms, but that would be overkill."

I just decided to put more effort into my appearance. I blow dried my hair and put on some makeup. I wore dark jeans with not one stain. I'm wearing a dark purple blouse with ruffles instead of my usual t-shirt. I even wore some brown leather flats instead of sneakers.

I look up from my script to look at our competition. Amber and Gavin also decided to dress up. Amber is wearing a denim skirt with white tights and pink legwarmers. She really took the ballerina thing to heart. While Gavin went straight nerd, he's wearing a bow tie and a sweater vest. He'll get laughs for the outfit alone, but it will take away from the scene. We can beat these ass clowns.

"You're feeling a bit more confident?" Jasper asks, catching my gaze now that they're finally off the page.

"Yeah, I mean look at them. We're subtler. I don't think Amber can do comedy. She's just gonna act like a bitch. Her sweater reminds me of Pepto Bismol. Too bad I can't drink it, cause it's making me sick."

He tugs the script out of my hands, setting it on the floor. "Whoa, there Tiger. Leave some for the stage."

I laugh uneasily, but do feel a little better. "I didn't think she was going to have us actually perform on the stage with people in the audience. I thought we'd just be in a circle on stage and perform in the middle."

I see Amber start walking over to use from the corner of my eye. Game face time.

She smiles sweetly at me, but her eyes stay on Jasper. "Don't be nervous, Leah. I know it must be hard though, performing on a real stage."

I put on my best Steven's face. "I'll be fine. The world is my stage," I say, also using my best Steven's voice.

Jasper snorts while laughing at my side. I look at him and laugh too. Amber watches us with annoyed interest.

"Gavin told me about the little bet between you two. He can be so childish," she says with a wave of her dainty hand.

"I'm in it for the candy." Jasper says, smirking at me.

I smirk back. "Yeah, you really love that peanut butter candy. Have you ever though about just getting a year's supply?"

Amber looks at us with barely concealed irritation. "Well, good luck you guys. By the way, nice outfit Leah. I could see a misfit move theatre cashier wearing it."

"Ditto," I reply icily. "All of that pink and the legwarmers, overkill, but I can see what you were going for with the character."

We stay looking at each other with plastered on smiles. She finally turns on her heel and walks back to Gavin. I catch his eyes; he gives me a thumbs down. I flip him the bird. He laughs and flips it back.

"You're a real charmer Leah. He'll be yours any day now," Jasper says to me, looking chagrined.

"I don't want him, so it doesn't matter what kind of charmer I am. Get into character Jasper, we're going first remember?"

Jasper stays as calm as before. The guy doesn't have a nervous bone in his body. Where as I am shaking like Jell-O on the inside.

"Jasper and Leah, it is time." Mrs. Stevens says grandly, her hands doing a flip towards the stage.

Jasper and I walk onto the stage and sit in the rolly chairs. I give Jasper one last "Let's do this" look before taking a breathe and as lame as this may sound becoming Vicky.

We go through the lines easily, no flubs or memory lapses. We're speaking naturally and getting laughs. I'm feeling great, but then, the point where we kiss comes up.

"Come here," I say softly.

Jasper wheels himself closer to me, the look on his face not at all expecting what's in the script. I realize in that millisecond, that Jasper like his character is not expecting a kiss. If I did kiss him, the surprise on his face would be genuine.

I lean in and tentatively put my lips on his. He stiffens a little in surprise, but quickly loosens up. His lips are cool, not unpleasantly so, more like a fall breeze.

I take my head back and say confidently," Do you regret that experience?"

"Not at all. Do you regret it?" he says, looking at me with embarrassed but coy wonder.

We finish the scene and stand up to the applause. He takes my hand, and we bow. I can't keep the ecstatic smile off my face. I keep my hand in Jasper's as he leads me off the stage. I'm feeling a performance high. We take our seats. Jasper lets go of my hand.

Mrs. Stevens looks at Jasper with adoration. "Jasper and Leah, that was fantastic! There was great chemistry and interpretation of the scene. I loved it. Now, Amber and Gavin you are on."

Her face didn't leave Jasper's, but she did compliment me. Not that I care, I know I did awesome. We both did. My eyes get ready to analyze every bit of Gamber's performance. Jasper interrupts this by putting his mouth near my ear. I lean my head closer to him; he must have to tell me something.

"Why?" he whispers to me.

I know what he's referring to, the kiss.

"It felt right for the scene. It was fine, no big deal," I whisper back to him dismissively.

He sits back in his seat, looking contemplative. I don't register it too much. I know I have a bag of candy and Amber's loser face in my future. The kiss was a big deal, in the bigger sense of things. At that moment, on that stage, it was right. Who am I to displease the theatre Gods?

Amber and Gavin finish their scene. I turn to Jasper while everyone is clapping, the thrill of victory evident on my face.

"We beat them." I say, with a thousand mega watt smile.

He smiles a tight lipped smiled. "We did. I'm happy for you."

"Be happy for both of us. Come on, we rocked. I forgot about how thrilling performing can be."

"You really like this?" he says, now looking more interested.

"I love it." I say, nodding my head slightly.

"You were willing to kiss a vampire for it," he says, not looking at me. He sounds almost annoyed at me.

"Are you mad I kissed you or something?" I ask. He keeps bringing it up.

"No, not at all," he answers in a tight lipped sort of way. He sits back in his chair, an ending to our conversation.

He is such an asshole. He can't stand a brief, barely could even be considered, kiss from me? I thought I had vampire disgust, but he has his own prejudice. Its not like he had to kiss me when I was wolf. Am I not good looking enough for him? I will not let these crappy thoughts rain on my parade. I did fucking excellent. I am happy. Check the gate. I'm done.

It wasn't even a bad little kiss my mind can't help but think. I won't think of it anymore though. Who cares if it was a good kiss, and my body reacted the way it would to a normal human guy? It's part of what vampires are, their made to seduce that's why I liked it. Maybe, he felt I enjoyed it and it made him uncomfortable. I don't care, he's a vampire he knows it wasn't real. He's kissed thousands of girls before sucking their lives away.

Maybe that's why he's pissed, not use to kissing a human without feasting.

I'm so lost in my thoughts I don't realize Gavin's standing next to my chair. He plops a bag of Reese's Pieces on my lap. What? I thought the loser would bring the candy next class.

"I knew you'd win," he says, leaning on my arm rest with his hands.

"You know greatness when you see it," I say with obvious sarcasm.

He drums his fingers on the armrest. "I do. I'm having a party this weekend, at my lake house. You guys should come."

Jasper stays quiet at my side. I, feeling empowered by my performance, go full steam ahead.

"Jasper has a family thing this weekend. I'd love to go." I say, feeling Jasper react a bit at my side.

Gavin looks surprised and excited about my answer. "Cool, I'll give you the directions on Friday."

"Awesome," I say with good cheer towards everyone in the world, besides the lifeless one beside me.

Gavin walks away, and I open my bag of candy. Amber's not going to be giving us any congrats apparently.

"That's good. You should have a lot of fun. " Jasper says, his happy self replacing the mope that's been sitting next to me.

"Nice to know you think so," I snap, popping a couple of Reese's into my mouth.

I somehow manage to do this angrily. I know I've managed this cause Jasper's eyes widen in recognition of this. It's a gift really.

"You should tell people we're on a break," Jasper continues in that same pleasant voice. It sounds forced and robotic. I can't stand it.

"Why, you think I'm going to hook up with a bunch of guys?" I practically snarl.

"No, but, you could meet someone you like," he says, not letting my snappy replies get to him at all.

"Whatever," I say, wishing I had a better reply. He just had to ruin my happy moment. What is his deal with setting me up with someone? The Cullen clan really thinks life is meaningless without a partner.

Jasper groans at my side. "I'm sorry, Leah. You were happy and I ruined it."

"Yeah, you did," I say, refusing to look at him.

He leans in closer to me, hovering over my candy. "I'm sorry. I say those words to you way too much. I promise I won't say them to you again."

I turn my face to look at his, he is an expressive guy. The pain on his face is so evident. I can feel myself letting my anger go.

"Stop being so dramatic. I'm fine, we're cool?" I say, smiling slightly so he'll relax.

"Cool," he replies, sinking back into his seat.

I put my bag of candy in his face, "I'd offer you truce candy, but you'd just throw it up. Have you ever thought of making blood candy?"

He lightly pushes the bag away from him. "Blood in its true form is my breakfast, lunch, dessert, snack, and even candy."

"Funny, but very nasty."

I like not fighting with Jasper. My body feels a weight come off it. It hits me like a ton of bricks and cement pillars that we're friends. I didn't get pissed at him in the way I used to. I was upset with how he treated me. That is what happens with friendship. Oh shit, I said to him we were friends outside my house last night too.

This epiphany isn't so bad. I try to reason with my vampires are evil self that by befriending Jasper, I am offering him support. Therefore he won't be as emotionally distraught and wanting to eat people. Viola! Leah saves the day again. Friends don't kiss friends a horrible little voice in my mind says to me. I shoot back at the little bastard. Kisses don't count on the stage…or with vampires. If a kiss with a vampire does count, that means you're a second from dead.

And I'm so alive.


	15. Molasses

So I'm a horrible updater/author I know. I'm sorry for not updating in what must be months, but I've been so busy. I, for reasons unknown, decided to take on a full time job basically and an internship so my free time is limited and used for sleep and good times. I'm also, sadly, a wannabe perfectionist with my writing. I don't think any of my chapters are perfect, far from it actually, but I try my best with each one until working on it anymore would cause insanity haha. I've had a lot of trouble working on these two chapters, but I'm throwing in the towel. I hope they're not too bad and I won't make any promises but I really am going to try and update soon.

And If anyone thinks I didn't update because of lack of reviews that is way off base. I'm AMAZED and HONORED by the amount of them I've received. And the number of favorites and alerts it blows my mind. I never thought I'd have a story be this well received. I really am going to try and update more frequently for you guys, I just don't want to post anything I think is not ready. My creative process is a slow one, but I'm gonna pick up the pace! So thank you for still keeping me on your alerts and faves I'll try harder to deserve it. (=

I hope everyone's having a fantastic summer by the ways! It's been sucky weather mostly here in the Northeast.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did I'd so quit my job.

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"Jasper, you kissed Leah?" Edward whispered hoarsely to me while closing the door behind him. He'd been ready to pounce on me ever since I walked into the house. I tried to hide it, but the thought of what happened clung to the surface of my mind. He was peacefully reading a book with Nessie on his lap, and then I walked by. He acted as though he'd been electrocuted. The poor girl almost got catapulted to the other side of the room.

I looked up from the book I was reading to stare up at him. I was in my room, it was more of an office really: a big mahogany desk and every inch of wall covered with books. Esme had designed this room just for me: maps of Texas, the U.S. and the world covered it like wallpaper.

"She kissed me," I answered, eyes going back to the page.

"This is very strange, and unexpected," Edward said slowly. His tone matching the world turned upside down expression I'd seen on his face. He paced back and forth in front of my desk.

"It was just for the scene. It didn't mean anything," I said, staring back up at him stubbornly. His confusion and pacing were giving me a headache.

He walked closer to my desk, leaning over it to look at the book I was reading. "Crime and Punishment? Are you feeling guilty about something?" Edward said, in that haughty way of his. He's always been the know it all of the family, or at least the one who tries to.

"You've been reading too much Sherlock Holmes with Nessie. Let me guess this here; I'm going to kill her with my love, is that it? Instead of money, I'm taking her dreams and chance of real happiness? Wow, sounds pretty interesting, if reaching real deep. Don't worry about her, she doesn't and will never want me that way."

My words came out in a harsh and quick way, razor edged humor slicing through the air. I tried to seem indifferent, but knew I sounded defensive.

He started looking at me with more concern. "I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about you."

"Me? Why me?" I asked, putting down my book at this point. I now knew that this wasn't going to be a quick and easy talk.

He sighed and opened his mouth, looking hesitant for a second. "You might be getting into something not good."

"Can you spit it out?" I snapped, barely able to control my building anger. Edward's not a straight shooter, he worries too much about offending people.

"I think you're starting to get feelings for Leah. I think you're trying to help her but are further entangling yourself with her. I see pain in your future, and the same horrible decisions I had to make."

I said nothing, staring at him expressionlessly. I really didn't want to talk about this.

"Don't give me that. I can read your mind."

I drummed my fingers on the desk agitatedly. "Let me get this straight. You think I'm falling in love with Leah?"

He looked up at my ceiling, searching for the right words as usual. "Yes," he answered simply.

I swirled my tongue in my mouth to think, a human habit I kept. "She's easy to love, Edward, but I won't love her."

He shook his head, troubled. "That statement can mean many things there Jazz."

"It does," I started, looking at him icily, "but it only needs to mean one: Me and her will never be together. I don't and won't love her. That is final."

"I said that once," he said to me, a hand turning the ring on his finger.

I picked up my book, and opened it. "We're very different people Edward, with two very different ideas on love. Plus, I mean what I say. Please, don't tell anyone about this conversation, or what happened today."

"I don't want to fight with you," he said. I could feel his frustration and concern over me blowing like a hot air around me. He was more concerned then frustrated.

I looked up fro my book, my expression less hostile but still firm. "I know you don't, but please, don't bring this up again."

He took his hands off my desk, walking to the door. He turned around, before opening it. "You can bring it up with me, whenever you like," he barely whispered, quickly going through the door before I could respond.

There's nothing to bring up would have been my response, but damn he was fast. Now that Edward was gone, and I knew he'd be leaving me be for the night, I could fully think about what happened. Leah had kissed me. It was a moment of competitive fervor that made her do it, but she did it nonetheless.

It was barely a kiss, it was like a really weak handshake, like dabs. I did dabs all the time with Emmett, usually after pranking someone in the family. Mostly Edward, guy asked for it.

I couldn't help but think to myself that Leah was the first human woman I'd kissed since a vampire. Well, she was technically a little more then human, the heat of her lips had briefly reminded me of fresh blood. If I had the ability to shudder, I would have. I was a disgusting creature, a gentle kiss had reminded me of my cold fangs in a warm neck. After trying hard to get that sensation out of my mind, I remembered what the kiss was really like.

Her kiss was warm, unlike what I was used to. A human's lips wouldn't have felt warm to me, maybe lukewarm. She had soft full lips. I'd never felt lips like that before. My thin lips must have felt pitiful to her, and the coldness of them, downright unpleasant. I thought of her at home right then, probably washing her mouth over and over. I didn't blame her, she could kiss any guy she wanted. I wasn't just out of her league. I wasn't in the same sport.

My head felt heavy with thoughts I shouldn't be having. Why did I care about Leah's pillowy lips? Or if Leah enjoyed my kiss? Why did I use a word like pillowy? These things didn't matter. They couldn't matter. They wouldn't matter. I rationalized it to myself this way: I was a man, a vampire, but still a man. I had needs and desires. Leah was attractive, and forbidden. Emmett would put it like this: "Any guy would get turned on by that! Shit!"

Emmett: The Tooolbag Philosopher.

I started to picture her thick dark hair, it was black to most eyes. I could see it was really the darkest shade of brown, it was the color of moist soil. Bella had her chocolate brown eyes, but Leah's were darker then that. Their eyes both told completely different stories. Bella's eyes were like chocolate, sweet and comforting. Leah's were like molasses, more dangerous then chocolate. I couldn't lie to myself though, it was more then the physical of. She made me feel different too.

Leah, she was something _altogether different_. I'd never known anyone like her. It was only natural I'd find her fascinating. She was funny, most people would want to spend time with her. She was strong and smart and didn't take anyone's crap. She was the cold hard truth: unfiltered, unapologetic, and exactly what you needed.

At one point I picked up my journal and started writing my thoughts down. I'd kept a journal for many years. You know how people write in journals to monitor how much they're eating for dieting purposes? My journal writing started off as that, but in terms of thirst for human blood. I was at the state of savage when Alice met me, and was still deep in my lust for it once we joined the Cullens. Carlisle tried to tame me through books and learning, by trying to humanize me. You can't eat something if you recognize it as yourself right?

He had me keep a journal, "It's just for you. I won't read it," he said, his hand kindly put on my shoulder. I can remember still how I looked in his eyes, ravaged and tortured. How could he have ever wanted to help me? I tried hard to write in the journal, but my fingers could barely move to form letters anymore. I wasn't used to using my hands to make small and gentle markings. They had been for tearing, scratching, and ripping. It was even hard to be with Alice physically at first, but she was patient with me. The pages however, stared at me without any comfort to offer. They were a challenge and my failure.

I can still remember Edward with his hundreds of journals, how ashamed I felt to even try. I could barely get out a sentence without wanting to break the pen in anger. I had trouble reading and didn't know anything really besides killing. What could I write about? All I had was hunger, and my love for Alice. My love for Alice was great, but I wasn't an Edward who could gush about my emotions on pages for days on end. I loved Alice, she was my everything, and it was that simple.

I started out trying to write about my past. Carlisle said it would help me to reconnect with my former self. The funny thing was, I didn't know If I wanted to. The foolish boy who thought he was a man cause he could shoot a gun and charm a lady. The boy who believed the world was his for the taking. I didn't know that boy and I didn't really like him.

I wrote anyway, about this Jasper Whitlock I no longer knew. I wrote about my mother, Lucinda Grace Whitlock, and my father, Ernest Randolph Whitlock. I was an only child. It probably explains why I thought I was the center of the universe. I, luckily, became someone who could convince others of my importance.

I wrote of the girl I was supposed to marry, Anna Belle Walker. Her family made a whole lot of money with cattle. She was a beautiful girl, could have been married off to a very rich man, but her father chose me.

He saw something in me. It wasn't enough for Mr. Walker, to have his daughter married to a rich man. He wanted her married to an important man. It's why I joined the army. I had to become a war hero. I had my thoughts set on rising to the highest levels of the military, to go for political office. I had at first planned to go to college, but once the war started, I knew where the path to power laid.

Mr. Walker really believed the Confederacy would win, and when it did, he wanted political clout. He had no sons, and thus, saw me as his golden opportunity. I was a young man, never once had I gotten out of my small town in Texas. I didn't know there were girls nicer and much more interesting then Anna Belle out there. I just knew that when I saw her walk through town, every man, woman, and child's eyes on her with awe and envy, that she had to be mine.

My own family I didn't enjoy, so I wanted nothing more then to join hers. My father who wanted nothing more then to use me for his own ends: to help him in his business ventures. My mother spent her time mostly alone, letting the maid raise me. I was glad to leave for war, and what I though, was my well deserved better and brighter future.

I remembered how Alice had gotten mad when I wouldn't let her read what I wrote. I didn't feel comfortable with it, she was with Jasper the vampire, and wouldn't benefit from knowing about Jasper the human. She couldn't remember her own human life. I envied her, it seemed easier to not remember. You couldn't miss what you couldn't remember.

The sound of my mother's laugh would come to me sometimes, when I heard the laugh of another. It was a deep and rolling kind, a rare and sought after thing in my childhood. The sound of a man yelling might remind me of my father, and a sense of anxiousness would come over me. The feelings left as quickly as they came. That laugh was not my mother's laugh. That man was not my father scolding me. I was not the proud Texan son of an overly ambitious man and frail lonely woman.

I got up from my desk, feeling restless. I wanted to run through the woods, and not think anymore. I felt with my senses and knew everyone was in the house. I marked the place I was at in my book, and walked out of my room. I was going to ask Emmett to go for a run with me. He'd distract me from my thoughts, it was a gift of his.

I had managed to stop thinking of Leah, by remembering my past. It hurt to try and look back, but it was better then mulling over my feelings for her. We were friends I told myself one last time, a declaration of the end of thoughts about her. I subconsciously knew even then, that she could hurt me more then two wars and a past better left forgotten ever could.


	16. Low, Slow, Roll

The big chapter, but this one I'm not too happy with. It probably has some stupid errors but I really need to just post it. I no longer can stand to look at it haha, after a day I can look it over again. I just really wanted to get this out since the Jasper POV chapter is such a tease of a chapter.

Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine still.

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"You had Jasper in you room?"

Although I'd love to snap, so what if I did asshole? I instead give Jacob my best "Seriously?" face and say in my most controlled voice, "Yeah, I did. Problem?"

He rubs his neck, readying himself for a fight with me. "I only gave Jasper permission to pick you up and drop you off from school. Sam technically has a point."

I try my hardest to not grab a tree to throw at Jacob. I don't think it is even physically possible. I once threw a picnic table though, so it could happen. Why he is being such a little bitch? He's an Alpha now. He doesn't have to back down to Sam. He gets all George Washington when his half breed love and her family are involved, but who gives a shit about his best Beta ever's wishes?

"Sam, does not have a point. You said Jasper could cross the line. You let Renesmee come with you over here. My mom invited the EddieBell Cullen fam here for dinner once. This isn't exactly a strictly enforced law. I get it. My mom's part of the council and you're the alpha, you can bend the laws to your…"

Jacob puts his hands out. "Alright, you win. You should be lawyer your damn impossible to win an argument with. I talked with Sam though and there was no getting through to him. He doesn't want Jasper in your house. What could I tell him? It was a one time thing anyway right?"

"Yeah," I start indignantly. "but, it is the principle of the matter. It's my freaking house!"

"Please, Leah, just be the bigger person okay? I know you want and deserve an apology, but it will be so much easier for the whole Rez if you let it go."

It's always little ole me that has to be the bigger person and let things go for the good of everyone. The problem is it's good for everyone BUT ME. Jasper won't be entering my house or room again, but it's my decision. I'm the type of person who hates being told what to do, quite the irony huh? My life is all about other people telling me what to do, from where I live, to what I do, who I see, and my own freaking biology.

I narrow my eyes at Jacob. I'm ready to get him where it hurts. "Bigger person? Deserve an apology? You're turning into quite the manipulative leader man. What have you given up recently Jacob?"

"I'm not trying to be manipulative! I'm sorry, okay? I just don't want anyone fighting. If you want me to fight him on it I will, " he says, with a hand on his chest for sincerity.

Jacob can be a strong and confident leader when he wants to. It's moments like this I remember he's a not a little kid any more, and a guy I can depend on. He just needs to be pushed once in a while. I'd rather not fight with Sam either though, not anytime soon. I like not having to speak or see him anymore and this would make that difficult.

"Don't worry, I'll let it go for now. But If he steps a toe out of line again with me, I'm tearing it off. " I say sweetly, giving his bare feet an obvious look.

He flinches a little. "I get it. I'm sure he's cooled down."

"Yeah, I bet." I sigh, taking a look at the skyline between the tall trees around me. Clouds. Clouds. Clouds. The weather like my life is stormy yet boring.

"Leah," Jacob says, eyeing me carefully. "I have a favor to ask of you."

A favor? After just pissing me off royally? He shows me he's a strong dependable leader, but then reveals his complete lack of tact or strategy. The boy needed an imprint, he doesn't understand females at all.

I decide to entertain the idea of doing him favor. "What?"

"The Cullens are having a birthday party for Nessie this Saturday, could you please come?", he says in a little panicked explosion.

I scrunch up my face in confusion. "Uh, why?"

He smiles, like a man trying to befriend a grizzly. "Nessie's been talking about you nonstop. She really wants you to come over again. It's a surprise party. She'd be so happy to see you."

I put my hands on my hips. "What? She'll have her whole fan club! Why does she like me so damn much?"

"She doesn't know a lot of people Leah," Jacob says, sounding desperate. "Your different from the rest of the family. Nessie needs more humans in her life. She thinks your great."

I stay with my look of confusion. More humans in her life? Funny? I'm not a clown, and I'm definitely not attending. "Jacob, I'm sorry but I can not attend. I already have to spend most of my days with Jasper. I have all the vampire in my life I can take."

He looks at me defiantly. "She's half human Leah!"

I shake my head. "She drinks blood and is going to stop aging. The girl is on the dark side."

His tone is dropping, more in sadness then anger. "She's a kid Leah, and doesn't have lot of friends. She probably never will be able to have a normal human life. . If she had you, a real human friend, it would be helpful for her."

I finally get it, Renesmee might like me, but Jacob has an ulterior motive. He wants me to take little Renesmee under my wing. He wants me to make her more connect with humans more. He doesn't want her to act or be like the vampires. I'm a strong human female influence, and constantly a pawn on the grand chess board that is Cullens vs Quileutae.

Jacob continues his pleading. "Please, Leah, I'm begging you. She hasn't done anything bad in her life. You're making her feel like you don't like her."

I dig my nails into my palm. He's trying to make me feel guilty. "Why do I have to feel bad for not wanting to be all buddy buddy with the Cullens? It's bad enough what they've done to my life. The Cullen Princess will have to learn to live with not getting everything she wants."

Before Jacob can defend his precious, I start stomping out of the woods. I'm a cruel bitter hag who is mean to little children, sue me. I'm not about to go to the Cullens fancy ass house when it's way overly decorated with everyone fawning over Renesmee. The thought of seeing their perfect little vampire family after mine has been destroyed makes me feel ill. Jacob doesn't care about me. He's my best friend, but it doesn't mean much when he's got an imprint. He doesn't even think of my feelings. I stomp all the way to my house and through the front door to the kitchen. I go right to the fridge and thrust it open with more force then necessary.

My mom, washing dishes at the sink, looks at me startled. "Oh no. What's wrong?" she says in an expectant way.

"Jacob was trying to guilt me to go to Renesmee's birthday party," I said, grabbing a can of coke. I've been trying to cut soda out of my life, but I seriously need it right now.

"That's nice," my mom says, drying her hands with a towel. "She told Charlie she liked you. It would be nice if you went. She needs more people in her life."

"Seriously? Seriously" I snap, slamming the fridge door. I don't bother to stay and hear her scold me. I stomp right back out of the house.

I have no friends so there's no where I can really go. Okay, my fellow pack members are my friends, but they'd just guilt me too. I have absolutely no one on my side. I have no where to go right now and it's about to rain. I need normal human friends to rely on badly. I go to the mini van thinking I'll go for a drive. Before my hand can even grab the handle, my cell phone starts to ring. I take it out of my pocket and groan, Bill Black is calling me. I start walking towards the Black house, already knowing what's coming. I put my cell to my ear and open it.

"I'm on my way over Billy," I say, trying very hard to not snap at him. B.B. won't stand for that shit from me.

He laughs wearily. "I'll be waiting Leah."

When I get to the Black home I see that Billy is out on his porch. He sees me and smiles nicely. He never was a yeller or a stern guy. I'm still gonna get a mouthful though.

"What's up Billy?" I ask while walking up the porch stairs.

"Nothing, really. You?"

I take the seat across from him, leaning my neck back to look at the ceiling of the porch. "I think you know."

"Why can't you just go the party?", he says, sounding more curious then demanding.

I snap my head back to look at him. "I didn't realize that being Quilete protector meant making appreances at parties. I think our ancestors would commend me for not over fraternizing with them."

Billy scowls at me. I was being kind of sarcastic in the beginning there. Whatever, this tribal elder shit is so annoying. I hate the hierarchy in this damn place.

"Leah, Jacob is your best friend, right?" he says, knowing the answer to that. "Although the last couple weeks you and him haven't been hanging out too much."

I look at Billy steadily, "I've been busy with school."

"Nessie is an important part of Jacob's life. Maybe, the most important. I know it sucks, I mean, he's my son. He's dedicated to someone else now. He is going to follow the Cullen family wherever they go."

I keep nodding, though I don't know where this is going.

He leans in toward me, hands clasped together. "I think, that if you want to be a good friend, you'll accept Nessie. I'm not asking you to get close with the whole family, but remember, most of them haven't killed innocents."

"Billy," I start tentatively, "just the fact that Carlisle created them is wrong. He should have let all of them die peacefully and not play God. He knew the risk they posed when created."

"Yes, he did, but he started something…amazing didn't he? He beat his body's biological makeup. He and his family serve as an example for other vampires. Isn't that something good?"

"I don't want to have this debate Billy," I say, kind of getting his point but not wanting to in the least. "I'm not going to the party. I have a test to study for."

"You're gonna study on a Saturday? You need to get a life." he scoffs at me.

When a more then middle aged man tells you to get a life, you know you have issues.

"Hey!"

I look away from Billy to see Jacob coming up the porch steps. Great, I'm gonna be blackboozled.

"Hey," I reply tiredly, staring off at some shrubbery to my left.

Jacob sits next to me, grabbing my hand. I take it out of his grasp and slap it. What is he playing at now?

"I'm trying to have an emotional one on one talk with you," he whines, showing his real boy age behind the man mask.

"Stop being a wuss! I'm not going, get over it."

Jacob gives me a hard stare, and stays looking at me as he slides from the chair to sit on the floor in front of me. He puts his hands together as though in prayer. Oh Christ is right.

"Leah," he says, shaking his fisted hand, "I am begging you from the bottom of my heart to come to this party."

I look at him, stupefied. "No, and get up!"

"I will not," he says, "because I love you. I want you there, with the other people I love."

He's pulling out all the stops for this. "Seriously? Who wrote this speech for you? Seth?"

"He helped me a little, but it is how I feel."

I laugh, "Yeah? Well, you're gonna feel my foot in your throat if you don't get out of my way."

"Leah, please. You're my best friend, and Nessie's my soulmate. I don't want to live a life where you can't be in it. Please, put aside your feelings toward the Cullens, for me."

I bite the inside of my lip, he sounded incredibly sincere and sad. It wouldn't kill me to go but I feel like I've been getting way too relaxed about the vamps already. I mean, Jasper and I are basically friends. I'd rather not showcase that friendship at the party. That is a long way from the hate I'm supposed to feel. He's right though, Renesmee isn't a part of that, would it kill me to give her some more human companionship? FUCK. I hate when my bleeding heart beats my stone cold soul.

I shove Jacob's shoulders. "I'll go," I yell angrily.

Jacob, now fallen on his ass, smiles ecstatically. "Yes!"

"Hey," I say, putting a finger up. "I'm not staying for long, and I'm not exactly going to be wacking the piñata or running musical chairs."

He jumps up excitedly. "That's fine. Now, let's go over the details."

I sigh and rest my heard on the chair. "I've got all day."

Jacob sits next to me, talking about what I should wear, the party time, and other details I don't need to know. I guess an appearance at this party could be good PR on my part. Since ignoring the request of friendship from a child is far from saintly behaviour. Jacob is talking about how I should dress "casual but nice". I'll show up in an ensemble of road kill if I feel like it.

I could even make a little vest for the half breed with the extra bits. The small intestines would make a great scarf.

* * *

"Shit. Shit. Shit," I mutter, standing trepidatly in front of the Cullen's front door.

My hand hovers over the door, should I knock or run for my life? Jacob told me to come at 11:00, and here I am on the dot. I called him before I left to make positively sure he was already here. I Take a deep breathe before giving the door three solid knocks. The door is answered by Seth, phew. He is, of course, wearing an obnoxious rainbow party hat.

"Nice hat," I say, stepping into the house with a look around for the undead inhabitants. I look around to see streamers hanging all over the large open living room.

"Thanks!" Seth replies excitedly, "Do you want one?"

I snort, and snap the hat on his head. "Oh yeah, and sign me up first for the donkey pinning."

"You can go second. I already claimed first," Jacob says, coming into the room from the kitchen.

"Oh, darn. Now, were the hell is everyone?" I ask, noticing that we are the only three people in here.

Jacob rubs his neck, a guilty gesture I'm very aware of. "Well, it's actually not starting for several hours. Seth and me are still decorating the backyard. The dinner still has to be cooked, but mostly everybody is busy. Esme's busy dealing with the bakery people because they messed up her order. Jasper and Emmett are getting the last of the presents. Carlisle had to go to the hospital because there was a bad road accident. Bella and Edward took Nessie out since this is supposed to be a surprise party…"

"Hold up," I say, cutting him off. "you need me to help you?"

"Yes," Jacob says, still looking nervous. "Could you please cook?"

"What?" I groan, now realizing what I've been sucked into. "I didn't sign up for this shit."

He puts on his best puppy face. "Leah, please. I'll never ask another favor."

If I cook for this thing, no one can ever criticize me on my attitude ever again."That's a lie, but whatever, I'll do it. BUT I get to leave this little shindig early, okay?"

Jacob nods, smiling triumphantly. He got me again, fucker. I throw my present at his head, he catches it but does stumble a bit.

I start walking towards the kitchen, "So, what am I cooking?"

"Esme left a note on the fridge," Seth yells from the other side of the room where he's putting up some more garland.

I nod to him and continue my walk to the kitchen. I walk in and the person in front of me makes me realize how big of an idiot I am. Jacob had mentioned that every Cullen was busy, except her.

"You?" she says, not even trying to hide her disgust.

"Fuck off." I state calmly, turning on my heel to walk out of this morgue.

"Hey, hey, hey now!" Jacob says as he grabs me by the waist to pull me back into the kitchen. I continue to walk with his arm still around my waist, his feet start sliding on the wood floor.

He throws a look at Rosalie, but stays holding onto me. "Please you two, just cook this meal and be civil. Rosalie, come on, you need her help."

I prepare myself to rip Jacob's arm from its socket, but then Rosalie clears her throat. I stop moving and turn back around to face her.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch," she barely audibly says, looking to the side.

I look at Jacob. "Why in the hell am I doing this again?"

He puts his hands on my shoulders. "For me, please? It can be my birthday and Christmas present for the rest of my life."

I'm broke and will probably be for a long time in my life so it's a sort of good deal. I also might enjoy being bale to boss the bitch blonde around in the kitchen. I'm not exactly an iron chef, but I'm alright. "Fine," I say, shaking off Jacob's and taking a step back into the kitchen.

"Sick," Jacob says in a relieved way, "Seth and me will be in the backyard setting stuff up."

Jacobs leaves me and Rosalie in the kitchen. I stay on one side of the island counter, and her on the other.

"What are we cooking?" I ask somewhat civilly, looking around the perfect kitchen.

Rosalie drums her fingers on the counter, still not looking at me. "I have no idea. I'm not human. I don't cook."

"You used to be human," I snap, almost regretting it when her head snaps toward me.

Her face looks perfectly emotionless yet, but still aggressive. "When I was human I never had to cook for myself."

"Hired help?" I ask, staring at her with my own cold but intimidating gaze. I've been practicing it since the age of five.

She smiles snarkily, "Yes, I did."

The tension in the air is thick, but I don't care to throw the match on it. Instead, I choose to go to the fridge where Esme left a very handy post it note detailing what she wants cooked. I open up the fridge and take out the necessary ingredients. This won't be too hard to cook, but there's a lot we're gonna have to move quickly here. I place everything on the island counter. Rosalie looks at the food reproachfully.

I take an elastic from my hand and tie my hair in a knot. "You know, I can cook by myself. Why don't you help Jacob and Seth decorate?"

Rosalie stares at me with concern, "I want to prepare the birthday meal."

"Why?" I ask, not getting why she wants to cook when she detests the very idea of food and preparing it.

Rosalie's face finally drops its wall of defensiveness. Her face now appears honest if still a little tight in the jaw. "Esme always cooks for special occasions. I finally get to and I don't want to mess it up," she says, sounding like its painful to voice those few non disparaging sentences to me.

I shake my head at her, since she's still not answering my question. "Okay, but why do you want to cook? You're cooking for the rez crew, Charlie, and my mom. Why do you give a shit about them?"

"I don't care about them at all," she states honestly. "I'm cooking for Nessie. She can have a normal human life, and I want to be a part of it."

My eyebrows raise a little, and it all clicks in my head. Yeah, she wants Renesmee to have a normal human life, but she also wants to live her dream of normal human mother. Why do I have the be Sou chef to this fucking insanity? Her faux dad's a doctor can't he find her a psychiatrist to work out these issues? Then again, I don't think there's been any psychological breakthroughs on the vampire psyche.

"Fine let's cook," I say, with devilish upturns on my lips. "But, don't you even dare to complain or play any of your bitchy little games with me, okay?"

Rosalie scoffs, an odd thing to come out of that angel face. "My bitchy little games? How about you?"

"I might be a bitch, but I'm a bitch with purpose. You, are bitch without a cause."

She actually laughs without any meanness, "What cause is that?"

I take a knife and start cutting up veggies, "To call people on their shit, and to make sure say what people would rather be left unsaid."

She raises one eyebrow at me, up for the challenge. "I do that. Who told Bella she was making a mistake to become a vampire? Me. Who knew Edward and Bella's relationship would bring trouble? Me."

I walk to the microwave to defrost the chicken. "But it worked out in the end right? You got what you wanted," I say without thinking.

What is that supposed to mean?" she questions, sounding crestfallen.

I walk back to the counter, not looking at her. "Nothing, just forget I said it. Let's concentrate on cooking. You cut up those vegetables. I'll make the sauce for the chicken."

The sound of her knife cutting the vegetables is extremely loud. It could be anger or her vamp strength.

"Don't break the knife," I say, the sound of it on the cutting board making my adrenaline pump.

She doesn't say a word, but slows down her knife slicing. I look up to see her face, an immaculate canvas of control. My anger is a like fire. She is an ice storm. I can practically feel baseball sized hail hitting my face. The fact that I'm actually starting to feel bad for the leech has me feeling nauseous. I start to recall Billy telling me Rosalie's never killed anyone. Her husband was a killer though, she didn't mind when he was offing innocents. Be the bigger person. Be the bigger person.

Fucking Billy and his wise words.

"I'm sorry for saying that," I say with a drawn out breathe.

She doesn't look up, but nods. "No, your right. I did. Life is like that. You don't always get what you want in the way you wanted. But it's better then nothing."

I nod, somewhat wondering about getting what I want the way I want it. I will. If I try hard enough I will. I grab the chicken from the microwave and put it next to the steak I have cut in front of me. I start cutting the chicken into smaller pieces. I clear my throat, getting her to look up at me. "Here's the game plan, we're deviating from Esme's instructions."

"Why?" she asks, sounding scared.

I won't pretend that I don't love being in control cause I totally do. If I'm preparing the meal for this party, it's gonna be food I like and want to cook. Plus, the theme is freaking medieval times. I grab the bag of crab meat and look at it doubtfully, "I don't remember the knights of the round table eating crab cakes."

"Esme wanted to have the big drumsticks, lamb chops, and meat pie for the theme. She also wanted some other more cultured food."

I shake my head. "No one want to eats this mushroom trifecta crap. We're gonna do this: shiskabobs, scallops wrapped in bacon, potato skins, fruit salad, potato salad, and a chicken rice casserole."

"Casserole?" she asks with a barely concealed sneer.

"Yeah, I once went to a medieval fair. They had this chicken rice casserole there that was pretty simple." I look at her sternly. Daring her to make fun of my attendance at a medieval fair. It was a good time. I say guys whack each other of horses and ate with my bare hands.

"Ready blondie? You're gonna have to listen closely we've got a ton of shit to do. " I say testily, looking at her to guage her reaction.

She smiles wickedly. "Let's do it, but don't call me blondie."

"Fine, but no dog jokes," I say, pointing a chicken leg at her.

"Deal."

The kitchen turns into a cyclone of acitivity. I'm barking orders while Rosalie does what should take fifteen minutes in ten seconds. The girl may be inexperienced, but she makes up for it with speed. Rosalie asks me If I could teach her to cook everything, once all the food is seasoned and cut up. I was planning on kicking her ass out while I did the actual cooking. She didn't bitch or complain once though, so I walk her through the actual cooking process for everything. After a couple of hours, most of the food is done. It lays in front of us on various platters. To say I'm impressed with myself would be an understatement. I am amazed by myself. I could do catering. I should get my own cooking show. Rachel Rae beware of Leah Appetizer Madness Clearwater. We start rolling up the scallops, since their only gonna take a couple minutes in the oven. Rosalie is running around like a track star but still looks perfectly radiant. I'm sweating like a turkey during the day of thanks and my hair is going to have a major bump from this ponytail.

"Is the smell of the food making you ill?" I ask, watching her pretty face get pinched up like it has throughout all the cooking.

She breathes out. "I don't have to smell it, but occasionally I breathe in out of habit. I couldn't imagine actually eating this. I never ate much when I was human anyway, less it ruin my figure and thus shame my family."

I snicker at her sarcasm, not bad for a prissy bitch. "Blood must be like the ultimate diet. I've never seen a fat vamp."

She laughs, throwing her head back. I feel like I'm in a Pantene Pro-V commercial. I imagine a marque below her saying: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

"What is this I see? Getting along?"

Rosalie and I look to see Seth in front of us, wearing a plastic breastplate with a matching sword in hand. We look at each other and must think the same thing: my brother is lame.

"Hey, Sir Lame-o-lot. How is the decorting coming? The party is supposed to start in like ten minutes right?"

Seth laughs in his good natured way. "Everyone should be here soon."

Jacob comes in soon after that to help us bring all the food outside. My mouth can't help but drop open in shock, this may look better then the medieval fair I went to. There are perhaps thousands of garlands of flowers hanging and looping around the trees with paper lanterns. There is an actual made out of stone mini castle on the lawn. All of the nice pottery barn like lawn furniture has been replaced by old wooden benches, tables, and chairs. There's medieval looking tapestries and flags hanging from the trees. Is that an effing may pole? Seth and Jacob look at me smugly, expecting a compliment.

I smile at them slightly, clapping my hands together. "Decent job guys," I say, going back in the house.

"Whatever Leah! This shit is fantastic!" Jacob yells to my retreating back.

I go to the kitchen where Rosalie is taking out the scallops. She looks at me proudly. I take a scallop and pop it into my mouth, looking like an ape when it is way too hot. When I finally manage to swallow the thing, it tastes great.

"Good job," I say, more proud of myself for teaching her then her actual accomplishment. Ah well, humility is for losers.

"It was three minutes in the broiler, not too hard. Can I help you with the shiskabobs?" she asks hopefully.

I try not to look too disconcerted with this softer side of Rosalie. "Sure, if Billy doesn't go all I am man I master of grill on our asses we'll totally do it."

We laugh, and then are greeted with the calls of Jasper, Emmett, and Esme entering the kitchen. They look at us in shock.

"What's going on?" Emmett asks, staring at us like we've eaten a bad mushroom.

"Nothing," Rosalie says, coldness back in her tone. "We prepared the whole birthday meal while you and Jasper played around in Toys R Us all these hours."

Emmett looks at Rosalie with a DUH expression. "Presents are the best part of a party Rose. We got everything on the list too."

She walks over to him, wrapping her slender arms around his neck. "That's my Santa baby."

I kind of cringe at there intimacy. Jasper takes note of it, smiling embarrassedly at me. Esme comes over and hugs me, but it's quick, not leaving me time to stiffen. "Thank you so much! I was completely caught by surprise when the bakery started having issues with our order. Then Jasper and Emmett waited till NOW to buy the presents. Carlisle getting called into the hospital…what a mess."

I give a wave of my hand. "No problem. We had it under control."

I'm not used to all this love and outpouring of emotion. My home as of late has been more like a cold war between me and my mother. I get a little jealous and angry over the fact that while my family is going to pieces, this one is happier then ever. I walk out of the kitchen to the living room, while the rest of them go to the car to get the baked goods. I can see from window that people have arrived. A cold stone forms in my throat when I see Sam and Emily.

"You didn't now they were coming?" says a concerned voice behind me. I know it's Jasper instantly, and am used to his somewhat creepy popping up behind me now.

"No, but I should have known. The hand of friendship is being extended," I mutter, staring at them without any shame.

"When's the wedding?" he asks me softly, taking a step to stand beside me.

"In a month," I answer, not trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. I'm too tired from the frenzy of cooking. I find it weird I'm letting my guard down around Jasper, then again, it makes sense. Since he's not gonna tell anyone, and he has no reason to judge me.

"You're still maid of honor?" he continues, in that same soft voice.

I just nod my head. The softness of his shirt brushes slightly on my arm as he takes a step to close the window with the curtain. I look at him questioningly.

"Come on, I want you to see something," he says, smiling.

I keep the questioning look on my face, but follow him upstairs, where in the long hallway stands a plush dragon suit.

"What the hell?" I ask, going up to it to look at it more closely. It's dark green with yellow underbelly. The actual dragon head is more cartoon looking then scary. It all of sudden moves, I scream and step back. The dragon suit stands up and pops its head off to reveal Seth, that bastard! It was a damn reaction! That suit shit scares me! I hated Barney!

I yell in fury and leap to strangle him, but a strong pair of arms grabs me at the elbows to pull me back. I run in place. I turn around to give Jasper my worst look. "Let go of me," I growl.

Jasper lets go of me and stays laughing. "I really didn't know he was in there. I promise."

My adrenaline shoots back down, but I still give Seth a shove. He takes it but still laughs hysterically.

"He really didn't. I was planning on scaring Jacob when Emmett brought him up here."

I turn to Jasper, "Would you mind holding my brother in place while I smack him around?"

"This is a children's party so none of that. I'll turn away when he's apple bobbing though."

I nod and smirk at him, "Sounds like a plan."

"I'm right here you know!," Seth says indignantly, still sitting on the ground.

I look down at him devilishly. "Yes, you are, stand still so I can break your nose."

Seth puts on his dragon head. I punch its nose, and get a "HA HA" as a response. I grab him by his fuzzy big head and start to shake it. "You can't stay in that suit forever you bitch ass little mother…"

"Hey guys? What's going on up there?" Carlisle's voice calls up urgently from the bottom of the stairs. The doctor is in.

I turn to look down the stairs, "Hey Carlisle, don't take your doctor coat off, someone may or may not be going into critical condition."

Jasper laughs beside me, looking at his father. "See, who needs a clown when we have Leah?"

"Don't kill your brother Leah, otherwise, you'll be wearing that suit," Carlisle says in mock seriousness, walking out of view.

I remove my hands from Seth's head. "I will NOT be the entertainment for the evening Jasper. I already cooked for this damn thing."

"I know," he says with a questioning look. "Why did you?"

"I had no choice, either I cooked, or Rosalie gave everyone food poisoning."

His hands go into his pockets. "It was very nice of you," he says slowly, looking at me closely.

"I'm a real saint." I state dryly.

"Leah's always been nice, she just doesn't show it as often anymore," Seth's muffled voice says, after having gotten up from the floor, and cautiously walked around me to the stairs.

I get my hands up. "I'm going to push you down the stairs."

Seth leaps down the stairs. I start walking down them, but Jasper puts his hand on my shoulder. I look to him in surprise. "How was Rosalie to you?" he says, looking at me imploringly.

"She was fine." I say, continuing my walk down the stairs.

"I just know you two don't get along and she hasn't been liking me too much. She might hassle you to…to hurt me."

"Why would it hurt you?" I ask, stopping to look back at him.

He stays at the top of the stairwell, like an Angel on high. "She knows you're a friend to me. God, you must hate me calling you that, but I consider you one."

I can't think of anything to say, but am luckily interrupted by Esme, who bustles in from the kitchen to stand at the bottom of the stairs. She looks up at Jasper nervously. "Put on your costume!" she says agitatedly, running back into the kitchen in a mere second.

"Costume?" I ask curiously, happy to have the subject change.

"Oh, you'll see," he says mysteriously, walking further down the hallway upstairs.

I walk away from the stairs to the window that shows the backyard. My mom is here with Charlie. Their both sitting at a picnic table near Sam and Emily. Oh, awesome. I seriously consider running out the front door back home, but am foiled when Esme comes up beside me in a flash.

"Hope I didn't scare you," she says quickly, "I forget my speed sometimes."

"No, I'm fine." I answer emotionlessly.

"Great, want me to walk you outside? Jasper is coming out after we say surprise to Nessie. Which will be happening any minute now."

I look at her and shake my head. "I'm not waiting here for Jasper. I just don't want to…"

"You don't need to explain to me, honey," she interjects, looking pointedly at the same group I was previously. "I'm sorry, for everything."

I could ask why, but I know what she means. She is sorry for everything, and not in that way where people say that because they feel bad, but because she knows she is responsible for my unhappiness.

"Is it okay If I don't accept?" I ask lowly but firmly.

She smiles sadly, her caramel waves swinging across her face when she looks at me. "Forgiveness isn't for the good of the perpetrator. So, you can hate me for as long as you like."

I feel a pang in my heart. Mostly everyone tells me to forgive and understand the vampires plight. Esme understands, in her own way.

"Come on," she says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Put a smile on that beautiful face, let's have some fun."

I let her lead me to the back porch, taking a deep breathe. Once we get out there I go and sit with Jacob while she goes back inside. The table also has the rest of the pack. Everyone is being silent. I'm not Sherlock Holmes, but I can guess that the birthday girl must be arriving soon.

I can barely keep down hysterical laughter when Seth, in his dragon costume, walks into the yard. The laughter is not because of him, but because behind him is the rest of the Cullen family in various medieval garb. Rosalie wearing one of those weird pointy Princess hats, and a pink medieval gown with gold lace. Esme is a Queen, wearing a crown, and a blue gown with silver lace. Carlisle stands on her side, dressed like a King in the same colors. What really wants to make me laugh is Emmet, wearing a brown robe, and carrying a huge mug. It makes so much sense, Emmett, the resident frat boy, is the drunk friar. I would think he'd be the prince to Rosalie's princess. The family takes their places standing right in front. Where is Jasper? He's missing from this merry band of medieval.

My eyes are looking at the ground, wondering if this is real grass or astro turf, when I hear the sound of something falling and then landing with a loud thump in front of me. I look up, it's Jasper, who I really think just jumped out of a window into the backyard. I'm so jaded at this point in my life by actions like this that my only reaction is to step back a little so he won't be touching my toes.

"Did you just jump out the second story window?" I ask loudly, getting shushed by Jacob in the process. I flip him off, hey, it's a silent gesture.

Jasper smirks, one corner higher then the other. "The third floor. I had to get here quickly, only got seconds to spare."

I notice that everyone is looking at Jasper and I's interaction. The look on Sam's face is a cross between pre-vomiting and pre-homicide. I give him a pointed look and turn back to Jasper. I, in a devious mood, put my hand on the hilt of the sword at his waist. I grab it and pull, looking at him coyly, or at least trying to. "You're a knight?"

"Yes," he says, his smile growing more playful. His hands go out, to emphasize the dark green tunic he's wearing. "I wanted to be the friar, but Emmett beat me in an arm wrestle."

His blonde hair is kind of curly, which goes well with his medieval look. The way the tunic spreads over his lithe muscles and tall build is like something out of a fairy tale. Since he's not too bulky, he's not as intimidating as an Emmett. Instead, he is strong but slender at the same time. The golden eyes bring me back to reality, this is no knight in shining armor. It's a killer in a Prince suit, the epitome of a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Jacob stands up from the picnic table to nudge my shoulder, he puts his hand in the air, with three fingers up. He starts putting them down to signify 1-2-3… "SURPRISE!" everyone yells, standing up at once. I say nothing, but let out a laugh after hearing Jasper scream it with a lot of enthusiasm. He looks at me, judgingly.

"Oops, Happy Birthday," I say without enthusiasm.

Edward stands on the back porch, he's hand in hand with Bella. Renesmee sits on his shoulders, smiling hugely. She starts clapping her hands excitedly. Jacob runs up to her, she jumps into his arms. Edward looks pained by this, but quickly puts on a smile. Jasper's own face darkens with Edward's, but also camouflages itself quickly with a pleasant expression.

"Why is my brother the dragon?" I ask quietly, watching him dance around a delighted Renesmee.

Jasper smiles more sincerely, "He was here when we were planning it and begged for the role."

"Of course he did," I mutter, now watching Edward and Bella get outfitted as a wizard and sorceress by Esme.

"I better go say hello to the birthday girl, care to join me?"

I look at Jasper doubtfully, but start walking. "I better just get it over with."

We walk over to the rest of the Cullen family, along with Seth and Jacob. The sight of Jasper and I together, gives us a different contemplative look from each person. "You came!" Renesmee shouts cheerfully, grabbing my by my knees.

Everyone looks at me like a Cobra about to spring. I'm not a child abuser, jeesh. Esme put a purple princess hat on her, the long piece of tulle coming off of it almost hits my toes. I wear flip flops regularly. "I did, Happy Birthday." I say nicely, bending way down to look into her eyes.

"Jasper, you're the Prince?" she says, walking over to him.

He picks her up to kiss her forehead, "Yes, I am. Happy Birthday, my lady."

I can't help but smile a little, it was cute. It quickly melts off so that others can't see my sappy loving side.

"You made all the food?" Renesmee asks me, looking at me from Jasper's arms.

"Rosalie and I made the food."

"Really?" she says, looking at Rosalie. "That's great!"

Rosalie takes her from Jasper's arms. "Yes, it is. Do you want to eat?"

Renesmee nods. Rosalie turns while walking to give me a wide smile. I've never seen her really happy before, but now that I have, I'll admit she's so amazingly beautiful it breaks my heart.

I snap out of my eye's lovefest with Rosalie and look at Jasper. "She's so beautiful. I knew she was, but I just fully got the impact and might have almost fainted."

Jasper laughs softly. "Do you feel that way when you look in the mirror?"

"Ha ha. Real funny," I bark out.

"Fine, have it your way."

I raise a brow at him. "I thought you were Prince Jasper, not Burger King."

He laughs loudly, getting even more attention to us. "That was real clever. Do you want to be the jester? There's an opening."

I laugh, albeit a little meanly. "If anyone gets near me with face paint, they'll lose their fingers."

He leans closer to me, speaking directly into my ear. "Would you rather they use their toes? Different strokes for different strokes I guess."

"Jasper!" I exclaim, looking at him in shock. "That wasn't very gentlemanly of you."

"The gentlemen are the ones you have to watch out for, Leah. They appear to be one thing, while hiding their real intentions."

I raise a brow at him. "You were a southern gentleman, so I guess you'd know."

He nods his head, a rueful smile on his face. "I do know, I do."

Renesmee runs over to us, grabbing my hand. "Come eat with us!"

I want to say no, but my stomach growls. "Okay. Coming Jasper?"

He looks surprised that I asked him, and I'm surprised myself. It just came so naturally, wanting Jasper around to weather all the bullshit about to come my way. When I talk with Jasper, my sarcastic and dry way of looking at things has something to work with.

"Of course, ladies need an escort?" he asks, putting his arm out to me, and a hand to Renesmee.

I look around at Sam, eating with Emily and his pack. He's staring at me oddly, like Jasper's arm is an atomic bomb and I'm Hiroshima. I put my arm in his and start walking. Renesmee skips happily at his side.

I guess I can't fight it, my friendship with Jasper. I guess technically he is. Is he the kind of friend I want? No, but he's what I've got. He makes me laugh, and makes shit like this somewhat bearable. We won't always be friends, but we can be for now.

* * *

I get compliments on the food throughout the party. Emily keeps looking at me from her table, obviously wanting to chit chat. I've agreed to be her bridesmaid, but we still aren't on good terms. I can't even bear to go into the details of what went down when she got with Sam. An episode of Gossip Girls, Dynasty, and 90210 times a hundred could not top it. I was the volcano, she was the small native village.

I get up from the bench to throw away my food in the nearby garbage can. Emily takes this opportunity, I watch her get up from her seat to come talk to me. I want to pretend I don't see her coming my way and run back to my seat. She's already make eye contact and waved, so that ain't gonna fly. Ah shit, let this be fast and not so painful please.

"Hi," she says, smiling nervously. "How are you Leah? We haven't talked in so long."

"I've been busy with school," I say in a rush, trying hard to look into her eyes and not the scars on her face. I should be used to them by now, but they still scream at me. Don't you wish you wore these scars? It's like Sam branded her with his love. I'm so twisted I need to be put in a rubber room.

I think wishing the guy you loved had scarred your face horribly if it meant he would love you forever qualifies as insanity. I can't say I'd take that offer now, but some time ago, I would have without hesitation.

"Good for you, you really deserve to go to college," she says in her genuine nice way I can not stand. It pains me to hear her sweet innocent voice no matter how sincere. My former best friend and I can't have any conversation without it being painful.

"Yeah, it's nice," I say, enjoying Emily's discomfort a little too much to not be considered a horrible person.

"Jasper, he's being nice to you?" she asks, leaning in a little closer, her eyes concerned.

"Uh," I start, surprised by the question in our guarded conversation. "He's fine."

"It's just that Sa…some people were saying that you two were really getting along. That's nice."

I nod, but my blood is starting to simmer. Nice, Nice, nice that's all that comes out of her and my own mouth when we speak now. When me and her are anything but nice. Our situation is anything but nice. She can try all she wants, but our lives will never be nice. Fuck nice.

"Hi, Emily, how are you?" Jasper asks, coming up beside me. He felt my anger obviously, and is looking at me with concern.

"I'm good. This is so nice here," she answers. "You guys looks great in your costumes."

"We tried, though Seth is stealing the show. Nessie's having a lot of fun with him."

"Oh yeah, he's like Barney. I love you. You love me. He's unfortunately part of my family," I sing song, with my fingers conducting like an orchestra.

Jasper and Emily laugh, and I notice they both have very different types. Jasper's is low, slow, and rolling deeply from him. While Emily's is an embarrassed and suppressed giggle. I've always been a little too much for Emily. Emily the Innocent was one of my many nicknames for her. The list starts from when we were toddlers, it shows the progression of our friendship: Emi Whemi, Emmer, Ems, Emily the backstabbing son of a…yeah you get it.

I notice that Emily is looking to Jasper and me, probably taking in the familiarity between us. The way we stand only inches apart, and how easily we banter back and forth. I notice it myself and am freaked out. I've come to a sort of closure on our "friendship", but still have trouble using the actual word.

Jasper starts talking about how when he first saw Barney, he thought it was a sort of brainwashing program and it scared the shit out of him. We're laughing and it looks like we're going to have a normal awkward free conversation for once, but Mr. I Break Hearts and Ruin Friendships comes up to meet us.

Sam's face looks polite, but it's wearing thin. He comes to stand next to Emily, his arm wrapping around her shoulder. My heart can't help but drop into my stomach.

"What are we talking about?" Sam asks, sounding cheery but looking every bit unhappy.

"Barney and his cult leader like qualities," I say, smiling menacingly.

"Interesting. We're having a meeting tonight, Alphas and Betas. It's gonna be important, so no hanging out here too late."

I want to roll my eyes. but don't, is he trying to make sure I don't hang out here with Jasper too long for his liking? I'm a bitch, but I don't like to hurt Emily, so I won't verbally decimate Sam now.

Instead, I link my arm with Jasper's. "I'll be there when Jacob tells me to. If you'll excuse us, I hear the sweet sounds of musical chairs: a mix of music and asses hitting the ground."

Jasper snickers and gives a friendly parting smile to Emily. She may or may not have noticed the complete snub of Sam. She's more the oblivious type.

"Are you trying to give Sam an amorism?" Jasper asks, arm still linked to mine.

"Maybe, a headache would do."

"Musical chairs you two? I'll gladly kick your asses," says the deep and mocking voice of Emmett.

Jasper and I unlink to both simultaneously cross our arms at him. "Sure, but no vampire special effects."

He makes a psh sound. "I'll still win."

I snap my fingers at him. "Bring it Frat Jack."

He snaps back. "It's gonna be brought…Leah Loser."

I laugh at that, "Really? The finger snap doesn't work as well with men. I just beat you at insults, now, musical chairs."

This game will probably end in violence and screaming, because if me and Emmett have one thing in common, it's a tendency towards playing rough. We all take out seats, Emmett, Jasper, Me, Edward, Bella, Renesmee, Rosalie, Quil, and Jacob.

"I'm scared for everyone's lives," Edward mutters from his chair next to me.

"Just be scared for your ass, cause it's about to hit the ground," I say, offering a snort when Edward protests my use of the word "ass" In front of his daughter. Get over it, she'll hear worse if she runs with us wolves.

The music starts up and the game begins. I start to laugh almost hysterically with everyone. Musical chairs with shapeshifters, vampires, and demon spawn?

Definitely not an episode of Barney I ever saw.

* * *

"There was Thermopylae, Dorylaeum, Bunker Hill, Gettysburg, Normandy…and now the Battle of Here We Go."

I laugh at Edward's comment. The fact that I beat Emmett in the final round to an NSYNC song makes my victory even sweeter. "Hey, I think that Battle should actually be called: The Battle of Leah Kicks Emmett's Ass In Musical Chairs."

Emmett sits at the table with us, sullen. "It's not fair, you grabbed the chair right as I was about to sit on it. You fought dirty. "

I snort in disbelief, "I fight dirty? You practically shoved Renesmee out of the way to get a chair."

Emmett puts his hands up and then points to me, "What? She was playing in the big leagues. This is not a family of coddlers! You should give up that ribbon you cheater."

I look down at the bright blue ribbon pinned to my chest, touching it with my hands and giving it an affectionate smile. Emmett growls in response with hands crossing in defeat.

Jasper chuckles next to me, using both hands to grip the bench and lean back. "I'll give you a blue ribbon just for falling on your ass Emmett. It deserves some kind of recognition."

"I got it on camera," Embry says, sitting next to me and holding a camcorder. "We can play it over and over…"

"I would love to relive my glory. I wouldn't even think about touching this by the ways," I say to Emmett with a warning look. Embry leans in between Jasper and I to show me the replay.

Emmett and I going around the last chair, shoulders hunched and asses directed towards the seat at all times. The moment when the music stops, and I take the chair out from under the unsuspecting Emmett, is an America's Funniest Home Videos winner. Unfortunately, the speeds Emmett and I are going at are not the human kind. We decided that the last round we could go all out. Jasper leans in to look to, laughing harder then I've ever heard him when he sees Emmett fall again and again.

I look up from the camera to see Renesmee playing with Claire, it's a nice sight to see. Renesmee may have an advanced mind set, but she still must like playing with another kid. They're having a make believe sword fight.

"Girls after your own heart, huh?" Jasper asks me, looking towards the girls.

"Yup," I say, "Their knights instead of frilly little princesses."

"Leah, you are Xena the Warrior Princess." Embry says, now behind us. "All you need is that leather outfit and the round silver boomerang hoop thing."

"Round silver what?" Emmett asks, looking to Rosalie for an answer.

"It's called a chakram dipshits." I say in my most condescending way.

"How in the hell do you know that?," Quil asks, not sounding too offended but more impressed.

"I'm not just beauty," I say loftily, shaking my hair a bit.

Embry nods, smiling sheepishly. "Oh, I know that. You've punched me enough times. You're brawn too."

"She can sing too. The girl's got skills. " Jacob says, with Renesmee now on his shoulders and Claire holding his hand in back of Emmett.

"You can sing?" Renesmee questions, looking at me like I'm a brand new toy.

"I'm alright," I mutter, hoping to dear god no one does that annoying thing where they ask you to sing on the spot.

"Sing something!" Emmett screams, getting the attention of everyone.

I glare at him, "I'd rather not."

A chorus of pleases greet my ears. Edward volunteers to bring the piano out here so he can play while I sing.

"You're father used to love when you sang," my mother says wistfully, now standing in back of Rosalie with Charlie.

I want to scream something along the lines of "Dad liked when you weren't getting over him in under a year to go out with one of his best friends" or "Dad liked being alive with his family." Instead, I remember how much he did love when I sang.

"Come on everyone, leave her be. She hates singing in front of people," Sam says from his table, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

I tense up at that, yeah I used to get horrible stage fright, but I always came through. I'm just not into showing off or trying to impress people with my vocal chops. I can't stand the way Sam said that, like he knew me more then everyone, even myself. He always thought that.

I stand up without a glance at Sam, "Edward, haul out your piano."

Edward runs inside to pick up his giant ass piano. I make my way to the porch steps. I don't know what in the hell I'm going to sing. Shit. Why do I have to be so combative? I should have just let Sam's comment go but no now I'm gonna go all Tina Turner look at me now on his ass.

Edward has managed to quietly set the grand piano behind me on the porch. I take note of a box on top of the piano. He sets it on the floor, I can see a couple tambourine, maracas, chimes, and that must be a harmonica. He goes back inside and comes out with two stools.

I take a closer look into the box and look up at Edward. "Are we starting a band? Leah and the Vampires?"

Edward shrugs, "I'm not against the idea, but we'd have to change the name. Why do you get the name recognition?"

I put a finger on my chin, "I'm thinking you'd all have to wear robes if we had outside daylight gigs. It's a good gimmick. I'm the only one who can stand in the sun I have to front the band."

"Alright Dreamgirls let's go," Jasper says coming next to me to pick up the harmonica from the box.

"Harmonica?" I ask him, eyeing it in disbelief.

"I played it a lot during the war," he says, putting it nearer to my eyes. "It's the one thing I have from my human life."

I can see now that it's very old, but not too rusty. He must have tried hard to maintain it, but I don't know how he can manage to play it. Everyone is watching us, talking quietly amongst themselves.

The butterflies start to move around in my stomach. "What are we playing?"

"How about, Isn't She Lovely?" Edward says, giving Renesmee a loving look.

There's no way I can say no to that, though I'd rather not sing such a saptastic song. I like it, but me having to sing it? I'm going to look like an idiot, but hey, there's a huge harmonica solo so the focus won't be on me as much.

"Right-o" I say, giving Jasper an exasperated look that he just gives a grin too. "Let's play that funky music very very white boys."

Edward takes his place at the piano. I go up the steps to sit on a stool that he placed in front of it. This song is way too bouncy. I'm not dancing. I'm not even going to sway. Jasper sits on the stool next to me. The weirdness of this situation doesn't escape me, but I'm too busy hyper focusing on how I'm going to be singing in a couple seconds. I didn't even do any vocal exercises I'm going to sound awful. Edward starts playing the music and I start singing. The beats slowed down a bit, but I'm able to sing it without any problems. I'm a Stevie Wonder fan, my Dad played his songs endlessly when I was little. He had me sing this song all the time. My singing get's stronger and comes out of me easily. I'm not singing to make a point to Sam or impress anyone here. I'm singing for my Dad.

I can't help but look over at Jasper in surprise when he goes off with his harmonica. I'm almost too shocked to resume singing and come back in a little shaky. When I finish the last verse Jasper resumes his outrageously good harmonica playing. The songs ends with much applause. Renesmee runs from Jacob onto the porch to jump into Edward's arms. The smile and pure joy on his face, makes me glad I agreed to do this. My Dad would be proud of me.

"You're really happy right now, especially when you were singing. I've never felt that from you. You felt…carefree." Jasper says, placing the harmonica into his pocket.

I give him a bemused look. "I enjoy singing."

"Then you should do it more. You sounded beautiful."

I hate when he does his staring you right in the eyes thing. I don't know whether to look away or stare back. All in all, I feel awkward as hell. Before I can think of some sort of sarcastic response for him, people start coming up complimenting me.

Emmett walks into the semi circle surrounding me. "Hey, why wasn't I asked to be in the band?"

"You're complete and utter lack of musical talent?" Rosalie yells over, while lighting candles on the cake.

"You could be the bodyguard?" Renesmee says, now next to me in Edward's arms.

"I'm ALWAYS the bodyguard," he mumbles, sulking over to Rosalie to put his head on her shoulder.

"It's singing and cake time!" Esme yells over from next to Rosalie.

We all gather around the one center picnic table. I stand next to Jasper, with Seth still dragon suited going to my other side. The rest of the Cullen family stands next to Jasper, with Edward and Bella in the center. Jacob squeezes in between Bella and Rosalie, with Edward placing Renesmee on the bench. We sing the song, me singing as lowly as possible. I've already showboated once today. Renesmee blows out the candles and we all clap and cheer. Well, I clapped lightly and gave a small "woo" when Seth nudged me in the shoulder.

"Do not even think about smashing anyone's face in this," Rosalie says to Emmett, grabbing his hand next to hers. The girl doesn't need to read minds to know her man.

"What you wish for?" Jacob says, bending around Bella to be in front of Renesmee.

She looks at him, offended like. "I can't say! It won't come true!"

"You can't even give me a clue?" he asks her innocently.

"Okay, I'll only say that it wasn't for me."

Jacob laughs, "It was for who? Me?"

"No, but your close with the letters!" she squeals, scrambling off the bench to run around the yard. Jacob chases after her, yelling that she has to get piece of cake.

I realize who she must have made a wish for: Jasper. J-A. That has to be it. I turn my head to speak to Jasper. "It looks like you have a wish coming your way."

"Maybe," he says, looking at Edward cutting the cake. "I wonder what it could be? It's probably for Alice to come back."

"Is that what you wish for?" I say without a second thought. I regret it the minute it comes out of my mouth.

"Sometimes," he says, now looking directly into my eyes. "but I have other wishes in life."

How can this guy/creature make me feel so overwhelmed? I nod to his statement and then walk around him to get a piece of cake. It's an actual Castle on land with a drawbridge and moat. There's even a dragon. I get my piece and go sit with the rez guys, and upon sitting down, am happy to hear a nice conversation.

"I hated Transformers. Megan Fox is hot, but also kind of freaky looking at the same time," I chime in, taking a bit of cake and loving it.

"I get what you mean," Embry says, he got a dragon tale piece, I'm jealous. "Her face looks kind of fake to me, and the look in her eyes is like scary and angry and just creepy."

"She's still the most smoking hot thing ever," Paul says, food in his mouth now seen by all.

Quil scoffs. "I still think Jessica Alba is the hottest thing alive."

"Jessica Alba, what in the hell has she done recently?" I ask.

"You're mom," Paul snickers out, with the rest of the guys joining him.

I roll my eyes and stare at Paul like the dumbass he is. "Wow, my mom's a lesbian AND she's banged a movie star? Wild. Almost as wild as when we walked in on you pleasuring yourself to your mom's jazzercise tapes."

"Ohhhh" everyone says, laughing hysterically. I take a couple fake bows and while coming up from one see Jasper looking at me. I try hard to not make eye contact, but do. He just smiles slightly and turns back around to talk with Emmett. He's with his kind, and I'm with mine. I have fun with my guy friends, but I can't help but look around this party and feel an emptiness in my heart. Even if I did imprint, would I want to stay in Forks forever? If it been me and not Emily with Sam, could I stand a life based solely around the rez or the Cullens? Pop out a few kids and help the keep the bloodline alive. I see Sam with Emily, his arm around her, and feel more strong in knowing that I'm happy I'm not her.

I wish for other things in life.


	17. Cages Or Wings

It's been practically the whole summer since I've updated. I am sorry about that and will try my best to update in the next two weeks. But I'm also sorry that I can't make any promises. I had a busy summer and my sophomore year of college is looking to be too. My classes were a lot easier last year, but now I'm actually struggling to get good grades. Those who are still reading, thank you so much for sticking by me and this story. I know the updates aren't frequent, but it really makes me ecstatic to know people actually want this to be updated. I only ask that you bear with me and my hectic schedule. Also bear with my story's long ass build up to the heayy duty action. (=

I, of course, need to thank my Beta dress up romance xxx for her help and suggestions and just being a generally way awesome person.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. ()=

* * *

"Listen, I've had a lot of cake. I need to go to sleep," I say with a yawn, my back leaning heavily against a tree.

Paul stands in front of me, his eyes as finky as usual. "We'll try our best princess. You definitely need the beauty sleep. Gone With the Wind dreams about the southern leech keeping you up?"

I knew Paul was going to make asshole comments, and I should have known they would be about Jasper. After hanging out with the wolf packs at the party for a while, I went with Jacob to play some party games. Sam and Emily had come to talk with everyone and I wasn't about to deal with that.

I decided that the piñata would be the perfect time to get my revenge on Seth. I enlisted Jasper to help me. We both nearly had an amorism laughing during the whole thing. When I got up at bat, Jasper kept shouting things like "You're warm!" or "You're cold". He was making it look he was trying to help me. When he was really using the sound of his voice to lead me to him. He was standing behind Seth. I got to beat my brother with the piñata bat. Which shouldn't be that big of deal seeing as he was in the dragon suit. Carlisle put us in time out, which I only took because time out was at the table with the food and I was planning on visiting it anyway. The looks both packs were giving me when I was sitting with Jasper were not so friendly.

I grab Paul by his shirt collar and wind up my fist. "No, but here's my dream come true."

Sam grabs Paul out of the way of my moving fist and Jacob stands in front of me . My hairs stand on end as I see Paul looking like he's angry enough to go wolf. He knows that if Sam hadn't grabbed him he'd be knocked out right now. He can't stand losing in a fight.

"Paul, out of line. Leah, control that temper," Sam says sternly to us both, but he only casts his disapproving eyes at me.

I step out from behind Jacob, looking unruffled by the whole situation compared to Paul. "I'll control my temper when Paul controls his need to be a douche bag."

"This coming from the biggest bitch…" Paul starts, but is cut off when Sam grabs him by the shoulder to say something in his ear. Paul balls up his fists, but stops talking. I don't even get Sam's decision to make Paul his Beta. He's a little dog Napoleon complex times a thousand and two.

"We have serious business to attend to guys. Let's all just concentrate here," Jacob says in a comforting way to us both, giving me a supportive look.

I nod, putting my need to do harm to Paul on the backburner. "What's up for discussion?"

Sam's hand leaves Paul's shoulder as he turns to face Jacob and I squarely. "There's been a weird smell in the woods."

"Weird smell?" I say with a stifled laugh. He said it so ominously I couldn't help it.

"Yes, a weird smell," he repeats, "It isn't wolf, human, or vampire. It doesn't smell like any other forest creature we have smelled before."

I put my forehead on my hand, this is going to a _long_ night. "It could be garbage? Or sewage? What kind of smell is it? I haven't smelt anything."

Jacob looks at me seriously. "It's been a while since you've transformed. It's only smellable in wolf form, and it disappears quickly. The scent is not as sweet as a vampire, but in that area. It's like cinnamon kind of."

I put my hand up to my dropped open mouth. "Oh my god, there's a cinnamon monster lurking in the woods? Hide your oatmeal!"

"Leah! Be serious about this," Sam snaps, he shoots a laughing Jacob an aggravated look.

"Okay, okay. Why are you guys so worried? Maybe someone's been baking cinnamon swirl bread frequently. I'm serious!," I exclaim, trying to abate Sam's growing impatience with me.

Jacob puts a hand on his chin. "I thought it was nothing, but it's been like a week now. We can't seem to catch the scent though. We haven't been able to track it, one minute it's there the next it's not. It's beyond strange."

I sigh and look at them wearily. "We should do patrols every night and day, in shifts. If you guys are really worried about this," I say, not really wanting to do anything of the sort. I treasure my sleep and hate having to transform with the others. I'm not into sharing my thoughts with several dudes more then absolutely necessary.

"Alright then, it's settled. We'll start tomorrow," Sam says. "I know you have classes late afternoon Leah, so you can get a five hour day shift tomorrow, starting at 6:00 am going on to 2:00 pm."

"What?" I exclaim looking at Jacob for help. He only gives me an apologetic look.

He gives me his best how can you get mat this face expression. "Most members of both packs have work or school. I'm sorry, Leah."

"It's fine," I say, sounding disgruntled but not completely infuriated. We start planning the rest of the shifts with me not giving any lip to the fact that I have to take all my shifts alone. I just act kind of annoyed so they don't get suspicious.

I'm not fighting this because if I'm alone it will be easier to keep my thoughts to myself. When you're in wolf with someone and their communicating with you, it's even more difficult to keep your secrets a secret. I don't have much to hide from the guys, and I used to use my bad memories and thoughts like ammo against them. However, I now would like to have my life not be broadcasted, especially that certain insignificant but still weird lip contact with "the southern leech."

"Alright, it's settled then," Paul says, clapping his hands together. He and Sam turn to walk away, but he gives me one last dirty look. "Sweet dreams, Leah."

I open my mouth to make a comeback, but am cut off by Jacob.

"Paul, just shut the fuck up." he says, with a dry tone and eye roll from the Leah Clearwater School Of Life.

Paul looks mildly shocked but turns his head back to keep walking without comment. He and Jacob used to fight like cats and dogs, but he wouldn't care take Jacob Alpha Dog in a fight now. I worry sometimes though, that he might try to fight him for his place if he gets a little power hungry and doesn't want to take Sam. He'd never do it though, the elders would have the ultimate council meeting hissy fit.

I put my hand on my heart as we start walking back to the rez. "Jacob, I'm so proud of you. Bad language and some sass." We intentionally take a different route then Sam and Paul.

"You shouldn't be, that's not very good for pack to pack relations. My sister will be pissed too if he tells her," he says, his voice sounding somber but the small smile on his lips saying otherwise.

"That must suck, having that asshat in your house all the time. If Seth ever imprints it better be with someone I can tolerate, then again, he better fight imprinting til his last breathe."

"Still not into imprinting?" Jacob asks as we reach the dirt road, about to take our separate ways.

"Yup, remember when you were?" I say, no bitterness in my tone, just soft and sad weariness.

His smile is small but knowing. "Leah, like I've said, it's not bad. I don't feel trapped or deceived or like I've lost my free will. I think imprinting is just the Universe's way of making sure you end up with your true love."

"If you believe that love is this one person is only meant for one person type of thing then that's hunky dory I guess. Oh and on top of that you like the idea of having some unexplainable power making the decision for you."

"Whatever, Leah. You'll imprint one day and understand," he says not even looking back. He's too used to be little speech to let it bother him anymore.

"Luckily for me, my ovaries still aren't operating, so I get to keep my free will thank you very much," I call out, walking backwards. He just gives me a wave of his hand. I turn around.

I was angry and ashamed at first, not being able to imprint. What was so wrong with me that whatever higher power didn't want me passing on my genes? If imprinting is about finding the best mating match, then no one could imprint on me either.

I now realize that it's a blessing, whether not it was intended to be doesn't matter. Imprinting isn't about finding true love, since if everlasting love was real you wouldn't need to be imprint in the first place. Imprinting is supposed to make it impossible for you to stop loving someone. Imprinting and love are nothing more then golden chains, a pretty trap. Imprinting is love without a lock and key.

I don't even look to the kitchen or living room when I walk into my house. My mom's still at the party, helping to clean up. Those vamps could get it done in like ten minutes, but they know their human brethren like to feel helpful. She'll probably sleep over Charlie's after, so much for that everlasting love right?

I get to my room and change into a t-shirt and short, no washing of the face or brushing of the teeth today. I'm too exhausted. When I drift into sleep I can't help but think of how no matter how unhappy I might be, I'm free. Jacob, Sam, Paul, and the rest their all future prisoners. A song from a musical I sang at graduation starts being sung in my head…cages or wings which do you prefer?

Ask the birds.

* * *

When Jasper picked me for classes today I was not a happy camper. I had to wake up at freaking 5:40 am to start my patrols at 6:00 am. The scent of cinnamon did not infiltrate my nasal cavities even for a split second. We've just finished our first class and I'm starving. I've yet to have anything et today. Okay, fine, I had a sandwich after my patrol but It was small and I've had a long day!

My stomach grumbles for the umpteenth time as Jasper and I start walking to our next class. I notice Gavin waving to me over from down hallway near the entrance of the building. I look at Jasper, who must note the confusion evident in my eyes and feelings, as we both walk over to him.

"Hey," Gavin says, flashing his crooked smile. "How you guys doing?"

"We're doing good. How are you?" I answer politely, for myself and Jasper. I want to put an end to this convo as quickly as possible. Before Jasper shoves me in the guy's arms and declares us wed.

His crooked smile goes sideways. "Not so good. I'm bummed cause I can't have that party this Friday. My parents changed their plans. They're gonna go to Costa Rica in like two weeks instead. My little sister's dance recital got changed to this Friday."

"Oh, that sucks." I say, unable to think of any kind of response. I'm supposed to be quick witted. I hate the uneasiness Gavin makes me feel. I can't blame him directly, it's Jasper watching us like we're monkeys in the zoo.

His frown melts away, a smile back in place. "Don't worry girl. As soon as their asses are on that plane there will be a party. You two better be there."

"We'll see," I say, not thinking a party with Jasper and a bunch of senses down delicious humans would be much fun for me. "We might have some stuff to do then."

Gavin looks seriously at me. "It won't be a party without you."

"What will it be?" I can't help but asking, still dry and biting even with the cute and beyond nice boy in front of me.

"It will be a gathering of people wishing it was party, but it won't be, cause Leah Clearwater brings the party." Gavin enjoys my cynical bite, and smothers it with his optimism.

I look around the hallway and back at him. "Is it a party right now? Because I'm standing here?"

"Yes, it is," he starts, then takes a look around. "It could use some balloons though, and a thirty rack."

"Alright," I relent with a sigh. "I'll try my hardest to go. See you later, Gavin."

Gavin nods at me winningly and gives Jasper a respectful look. He must find it weird that Jasper doesn't talk much during our conversations. He'll never know how much weirder Jasper really gets. Or me. He waves us off as he walks out the entrance. I fight the urge to look behind me as Jasper and I walk to our next class. Jasper keeps shooting me knowing glances but I refuse to acknowledge it. We walk into our geology class, taking our usual seats in the back corner of the auditorium near the door.

"Stop looking at me like that!" I finally shout out to Jasper, getting a couple of looks from other kids walking down the aisles. Jasper has the aisle seat so he doesn't have to sit next to anyone, therefore less danger to humanity. I put a backpack on the chair next to me because of, well, less danger to humanity.

Jasper feigns an innocent expression. "What? I didn't say anything?

"You didn't have to. I know what you're thinking," I say, eyes looking unblinking into his.

His bottom lip sticks out in confusion. "What? Are you Edward now?"

"Ha ha ha," I say harshly, biting my own lower lip. I hate when he plays these games with me. "That Gavin and I were flirting and like each other."

"You like Gavin? He likes you? I didn't notice."

"Oh, shut up!" I say, keeping it to a harsh whisper since the Professor just walked in.

"You started this," Jasper mutters, pulling out his notebook and pencil seemingly unbothered compared to my agitation.

"You started this with your look!"

"My look? So I can't look at you?," he says, looking at me closely with his eyes. "Will you be my seeing eye dog?"

"Ha, funny," I say lowly and quickly, noticing that the Professor is giving us warning looks while he sets up his laptop projector.

I don't like Jasper judging my every interaction with Gavin, or to think I'm flirting with him. I was having a conversation, just because it was with a guy does not make it a flirtatious one. I wouldn't want to get into a relationship anyway I'm getting out of here after this semester. Gavin doesn't like me that way anyway, and I don't care if he does. I'm not going to think about this anymore. I have some tectonic plate types to be writing down.

I hate Jasper's drawing ability. While I don't even try to draw the diagrams and sketches the Professor has up on the screen, Jasper is copying them down perfectly. I stare at the perfection of his notes, wondering if he'd let me photocopy them, when I notice a little drawing he has in the corner of the top of the page.

It's me and him. His lines are thin and dark. We both look very willowy. On our faces he has my eyes being slightly bigger then his, with very dark and long eyelashes to the point where it's almost a caricature. His square jaw is the same idea, being almost perfectly square. He's wearing big black sunglasses and holding a cane in one hand and my hand in the other. I'm walking ahead of him, obviously leading him. His small lips are slightly curved as a smile. My eyebrows are down as two near vertical lines, obviously expressing my irritation. My mouth is shown as a small diagonal line. I see that his feet are on their tiptoes, a little cloud behind them. I'm dragging him, my free hand is balled into a little fist.

I smirk at the drawing, and lean over to write something on the page. Jasper backs up slightly to let me hover in front of him. _Your hair isn't curly enough. I also am definitely not that skinny _I write, going back to my seat without a look.

I back up into my seat. Jasper goes forward to erase the hair on his figure's head, he erases my waist to make it a little but not too drastically fuller, it has curves now as opposed to the rigid lines of before. My chest he has still left flat, but I'm happy about that. I'm not throwing double D's around or anything, but I've got enough to attract guy attention when wearing a low cut shirt. I hold back a snicker when I see he has one large curl coming out of his head like a unicorn.

I grab the notebook from him and have my eraser hover above my face. I give Jasper a reproachful look, he nods. I start to carefully erase the unpleasant facial line, instead replacing it with a big bright smile, a bunch of little squares in the small opening between my lips. It's a little maniacal.

Jasper looks at the crazy smile I've drawn, and then looks at me in a surprised way. I smile that drawn smile for him, and look back down at the paper as I try to draw a sidewalk underneath our feet, and a large dark circle meant to be a manhole under him.

I look back up at Jasper, expecting a dry look or his usual smirk. Maybe, writing a witty retort on the page or drawing something else. Instead, Jasper lets out a huge laugh, like uncontrollable giggle fit type shit. I turn in horror to the professor in the pit of the auditorium. He's giving us the death glare. I've used the phrase death glare before, but now I have truly been on the receiving end.

"I'm sorry," Jasper laughs out, making a coughing noise in his throat but still laughing. "I really am. I just need to step out."

Jasper walks over me, his books in hand, and exits the auditorium. I manage in my state of shock to grab my stuff and also exit right behind him, calling back to the class, "Uh, sorry, he's going through a tough time. His dog died." Weak, but all I could come up with on that short of notice. I'd feel bad saying a family member what my history. I have bad enough luck as it is, better not get karma after me. I don't own a dog.

"Seriously, Jasper? Seriously!?" I say, watching him laugh it up as we walk down the hall. It's like half an hour till our next class.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it. It just came over me all of a sudden, you're the one who initiated it," he says, the laughing finally stopped but an amused smile still on his face.

"Listen," I say, leading us to the entrance to walk outside of the building. "I'm funny but that was not worth that much laughter."

"Yeah, I know. I just had a moment," he says, now the more calm and collected guy with the mischievous glint in his eye. Instead of, ya know, the laughing hyena asshole.

It's could outside, frigid actually. I put on my mittens because it's what someone with a normal blood temperature would do. Jasper does the same, but his brown leather gloves are a contrast to my wool mittens.

"Nice mittens," Jasper says, sitting with me on a nearby bench. He puts his hand out. I take a mitten off to put in it. He looks at it closely.

I sit next to him. "Thanks, I made them."

"You made them?" he questions in a disbelieving way.

"Yeah, I can knit and crochet," I answer defensively. "My grandma taught me."

He smiles, handing my mitten back to me. "My grandpa taught me how to shoot a gun and kill chickens."

"Oh," I start, trying without luck to keep the grossed out expression off my face. "That's sweet."

"Come on!" he says, eyes wide in a teasing and indignant kind of way. "You eat meat. How do you think you get it?"

"I've killed my own meat, remember my time spent living in the forest?," I shoot back forcefully, really regretting having to bring that memory back to mind. I will never enjoy hunting my own food, the tearing of flesh and blood pumping in their veins with fright. He's right though. I eat meat and just hate remembering that it's a living creature being killed.

"It made you uncomfortable to kill animals," he says, now looking more sympathetic. "I could feel it from you even then. You even felt bad when killing the vampires at first, but then you were fully immersed in the instincts and feelings that come with your wolf form. The sheer, almost uncontrollable need to kill my kind."

"How do you feel towards me, instinctively I mean," I ask curiously. I know we smell to them, but is there more?

He sits up more rigid, like a parent or teacher trying to explain something complicated. "A sense of danger and strong dislike is strong once the smell hits, but I've gotten used to your kind. The smell was actually a good thing, it kept me from wanting to drink your kind's blood. It seemed like a disgusting idea."

"So, basically, I'm not tasty," I say, summing up his big speech in one sentence. I'm fine with having the Brussels sprouts of blood flavors.

He nods, amused if off put by my wording. "Nope, when I'm with you, I feel like I'm with my own kind, but my mind and body know you're dangerous. When I first met your kind it was like a voice screaming it, now, it's a muffled voice I can't always hear."

"I felt that way too, when I first changed and then saw vampires, it was like my brain was on fire. It's better now obviously, but when one of you is angry with me or unhappy, it starts again."

"I get that too, when your angry with me," he says with a grin, then adding, "Well, any of your kind."

Jasper is amused by the fact that whenever we fight our instincts take over and we want to kill each other. This is the type of black humor I've come to like about him. Since I can't help but find it funny myself.

"Do you want to get some lunch before theatre class? It doesn't look normal us being so comfortable out here in the cold," Jasper says, trying hard to look pained in the cold.

I hadn't even thought about acting cold. I don't think about acting like a normal person. It must be my denial over my freak status. I get up with Jasper and walk to a student run café not too far away. A hot latte and scone may not keep Jasper and I from sometimes wanting to rip out each other's throats, or fix my chromosomes, but it always helps.

When we get to the café Jasper opens the door for me, I give him what I hope he gets is a thankful nod and go up the counter to get my drink. Jasper sits at a table near the exit doors. All female, and a couple of the male, eyes are devouring Jasper. He takes off his leather jacket and puts it on the back of his seat.

"The guy you came in with, is he your boyfriend?" the girl at the counter asks me, mid taking my change out of her register.

My mouth prepares to say no but then I realize I'm supposed to say yes and end up with the word "NoYeah."

"Did you say nah?" the girl says, putting twenty five cents into my hand. The smile on her face is ear to ear. She stares at Jasper obviously.

"Not na, YEAH. We're together," I say with a giggle. I'm not a giggler, but I had to pull out the big guns after my mouth spasm.

"Is it serious?" she asks, unabashedly, still looking at Jasper and not me.

I drop my quarter into her tip cup from abut a foot above, the coin makes a loud clinking noise against the other silver. It snaps her attention to me.

"Dead. Serious," I say in a low voice, almost snorting with laughter when I turn around to walk to the table. The look on her face was priceless. I also have the whole in joke of dead = Jasper. A good line all around.

"That girl is scared. You're happy. These two events are connected," Jasper says accusingly, raising his brows at me as I sit down.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," I say.

The girl from behind the register places my scone and latte quickly in front of me, without looking at either of us. I start eating my scone the minute it hits the table. The girl almost flinches when Jasper looks up at her, she is back behind her counter in five seconds flat.

"I never took you for the jealous type," he drawls out, the smirk on his face already in my mind before I look up at him.

"She was being rude," I say with mouth full of scone that I snap shut.

"You're definitely Miss Manners and Etiquette. You've got a little scone right there," he says, pointing to the side of my mouth.

I try brushing it off but he keeps shaking his head. He finally reaches his hand over the table and with his hand lightly brushes the side of my face. We catch eyes for moment, then he pulls back his hand quickly. I sputter out a "Thanks," but don't meet his eyes.

"No problem," he says, leaning back into his chair as much as possible.

I bite an obscene amount of scone to fill my mouth completely. That was kind of awkward, but not really I mean nothing happened at all. We zoned out for a moment nothing too weird. It more him then me, he probably was hearing that little voice in his head. The one that wants him to kill me.

The girl at the counter doesn't realize how "dead serious" our relationship really is.

* * *

When we get to our theatre class the weirdness at the Café has subsided. We take our seats together and everything is going as it usually does. Amber keeps looking at Jasper like he's the Golden Fleece and I'm Medusa. Gavin keeps smiling at me when I happen to look his way. Most females' eyes are looking at Jasper like he's a porno.

Typical day for me now.

Mrs. Steven's comes onto the stage, giving Jasper the usual lusty look, before she starts to speak. "Today, we will do things differently. Choose a new partner for today's exercises, or actually, I'll choose for you."

I look at Jasper in horror, he looks nervous but not too troubled. Oh shit, Mrs. Stevens I hate you! She starts to count us off, Jasper is a five and I'm a six. This is serious bullshit. Jasper won't be able to manipulate her either, she's in one of mind set moods I can tell. We pass around the script we're supposed to do, and people start getting up to go with their partner.

"We should just leave," I whisper to Jasper, still sitting.

Jasper shakes his head. "I'm not that bad Leah. I went to High School remember?"

"Yeah, with super strong Alice by your side all the time."

"Leah, I'll be fine, trust me," he whispers back, eyes so earnest and easy to believe. Vampires are the masters of persuasion that's how they get people alone to suck their blood DUH.

"It's not you I worry about," I whisper lowly and firmly.

"Hey Jasper! You five? We're partners bro," Gavin's voice says excitiedly. We turn slowly to face him, yup, he's standing there.

My fake boyfriend is going to maybe kill the guy he wants to set me up with. It's not irony, but it is something awfully fucked up.

As Jasper and I just stare at Gavin dumbly, a girl comes and stands next to him. "I'm six, are you?" she says to me, coming to stand beside him. He smiles at her, she smiles back, looking a little timid.

"Yeah," I answer way too slowly to be considered a normal response.

Jasper and I stay sitting for another second, but then he gets up to stand beside Gavin. He just gives me a hard look before turning his back to me. I stay sitting, really trying to figure out what the hell to do. Jasper sounded confident, and he wouldn't say it unless he meant it. I trust him, which is even worse then not trusting him. I really am befriending the leech. All of these people are at risk because of it.

The girl in front of me stretches out her hand. "I'm Poppy by the way."

"I'm Leah," I say, a cheery echo of her, taking her hand and standing up.

I let go and then start looking at Jasper again. I feel bad for this girl. My staring is so obvious. She must think I'm one hell of a desperate girlfriend. Jasper gives me a reassuring look, as though saying "I've got this girl", but I'm sure his wording would be more refined.

"So, wanna read over the scene separately first?" Poppy asks me, little white teeth showing in a nervous smile.

I nod, and start reading, while still looking to the side at Jasper. Gavin and him are laughing, a good sign. Unless Jasper likes to make his future victims giddy before slaying them. I get through reading it and look at Poppy, whose still finishing it up.

Her hair is to her shoulders, kind of flippy, and a reddish orange color. I wonder if it's natural. She has noticeable freckles on her nose and cheeks, so she could be a natural redhead. I always wanted freckles…why the fuck am I going on about freckles when Jasper might be about to kill Gavin?

Poppy looks at me expectantly, I try to give her a pleasant smile, but probably look like a lunatic. This script isn't long, just a couple of words really. The funny thing is that our lines seem like they'd be something sexual. A lot of "Oh's" and "That's it. You've got it." Type short lines. I'm not in the mood to be creative or put any effort into this at all.

"So, what ideas do you have?" Poppy asks me, giving a much more convincing smile then my own.

"Uhhhh…" I start lamely. "Maybe, um, not going for the obvious? It looks so sexual but we should do the opposite, put this dialogue in a very unisexual situation."

She nods, eyes wide and animated. "I like that! Maybe, we could be working in an office? I could be helping you fix your computer?"

We could go up there and pretend to be T Rexes having a tea party. I DON'T CARE.

"That sounds awesome!" I reply, my eyes watching heavily an intense conversation between Jasper and Gavin.

"Okay…wanna read the lines?" she asks, sounding a little deflated by my lack of enthusiasm still.

I turn to see her trying hard to keep a smile on her face. Her eyes look disappointed. She must think I'm a bitch. Oh, great. I am a bitch, but only to people I think deserve it, not innocent gingers. I take a deep breathe and walk around so that Jasper is clearly in my view range. I'll stay with him in my view range, and I know that my wolfey senses will pick up if he even gets a little titillated.

I start reading the lines with her, and we both do pretty good on the first take. Since there's not a lot of dialogue we memorize it easily. Poppy's funny, she has me laughing easier then most people. She's cheery, but not to a fault, just warm and inviting. I'd almost compare her to Seth, but if Seth had more cajones. Mrs. Stevens tells us to go to our seats after about half an hour. Jasper sits next to me with our partners going to either side. We both look at each other, his smile is ear to ear. He's proud of himself, and happy to be able to do such normal human interaction. I don't need to be an empathy to know that.

Amber and her partner agree to go first, and within the first few seconds, I almost cover my eyes in horror. I look to Poppy, since looking at Jasper would make things more awkward, and drop my mouth open. She nods and puts her hand to her mouth, suppressing a snicker.

Amber and her partner have decided to take the dialogue and place it in a scene where two girls at a slumber party are sharing blow job techniques, with the use of pens. It's horrifying to witness, and my shoulder on Jasper's feels suddenly way too close. They finish, with most people laughing hysterically. I'm not. AH! I now know what Amber looks like when she gives a blow jay. I look over to see Jasper also looking troubled. Gavin is laughing hysterically.

"Who will go next?" Mrs. Stevens says, as though anyone wants to follow that up. She doesn't look too bothered by what just happened. Uh, I though wearing shawls and glasses with the chain meant class.

Poppy jumps out of her seat next to me, "We do!" she yells.

I can't believe she wants to go right now. We're gonna be office workers after that shit? I get up and walk to the middle of the circle. We sit in our chair, facing each other. We do our scene, with some moderate laughter, but nothing like the previous performance. I'm glad when it's all over and we go back to our seats. Poppy gives me a thumbs up when we sit down. I give her a "Are you kidding me?" look that makes her smile if possible wider.

Jasper and Gavin get up to go next. Jasper takes a chair and puts it back in the circle, then pushes the other one farther back. He's holding onto a note book and a pencil. He takes a seat, while Gavin starts to strut in front of him. After they say only a couple lines I know what they're going for, a model and a casting agent. I'm surprised by Jasper's performance, spot on arrogant and swarmy dick.

Gavin makes everyone start laughing uncontrollably, and many a girl giggle, when he takes off his shirt. I don't do anything and keep a straight face. Poppy lets out a wolf whistle next to me, which breaks me into a laugh. Jasper and Gavin finish up, with applause. The rest of the groups go: gamers, old people, and some other unmemorable performances. I'm near ecstatic when Mrs. Stevens tells us we can leave, and hop out of my seat immediately. Jasper gets up slowly at my side, turning to face Gavin.

Gavin gives Jasper a man slide hand thing, "Good job man! I'm sure the girls would have rather seen you without your shirt off though."

Jasper laughs dismissively. "Thanks Gavin. You were good, a real natural on the catwalk."

I smile nicely, like a girlfriend is supposed to when their boyfriend's doing bro things. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around, it's Poppy.

"Our performance was great, but who can top blow jobs? Really? Maybe a sexy six pack," she says, her voice a whisper at the last part.

I chuckle, "Yeah, blow jobs how can we compete? And I'd say it was more of a four pack."

"Easy for you to say, you're boy probably has an ocho pack," she says slyly, eyeing Jasper, but with a joker's grin in place.

"An ocho pack?" I question, while trying to not flinch when she calls Jasper my boy.

"You know 300? Their packs are way past six and ocho sounds cooler then eight."

I make the quick conclusion that Poppy is someone I truly enjoy. Gavin comes to stand on either side of us. Jasper takes my other side.

"You girls were great," Jasper says, trying to smile affectionately at me, and then looking to Poppy.

She makes a disbelieving sound. "Thanks, but you guys were better."

"Hey! You girls were good," Gavin says, putting an arm around Poppy. "There could have been more blowjobs though."

We all laugh, and I notice Poppy blushed when Gavin put his arm around her.

She shrugs it off, "Yeah, forgot to add a blowjob scene, will remember for next time. So, signing up for auditions today?"

Gavin scratches his head almost shyly, "I already signed up, and I'm hoping I get Radames. We shall see. Are you guys trying out?"

"No," I answer, but Jasper says nothing.

"Can you sing?" Poppy asks us.

"Leah can sing beautifully," Jasper says, cutting me off as I'm about to say not really.

"Then you should!" Poppy says, actually jumping up and down a little. "I'm stage manager for the show and I'd love to work with you. You'd be great as Aida and I don't want to work with any bitches per usual."

She gives Amber, whose talking with Mrs. Stevens a particularly bad look.

Gavin catches the look. "She wasn't that bad Poppy!"

"Uh, not to you, leading man," Poppy says, with eyebrows raised. "She was a demon whore bitch from hell to everyone else."

"Oh, Poppy, you're just too sensitive," Gavin says, hugging her around the shoulders.

The blush comes back to her pale cheeks, "She's a little too evil actually."

"I've gotta go, got work in twenty minutes, but I'll see you guys…and you BETTER sign up for auditions," Gavin says, walking away while pointing at me.

I say nothing and wave him off. Poppy pops up next to me as Jasper and I walk off the stage. "Come on Leah, it's going to be so much fun. We need some new blood!"

Jasper and I snicker, blood, it's too easy. We get out of the theatre and I turn towards Poppy to the side of the exit. It's nice that she wants me to try out, but there's no way I'm putting myself through that shit.

"I don't have time!" I say to her, trying to be nice about it. "Maybe next semester."

Poppy sighs, but is still smiling. I've noticed that about her, she's always smiling.

"We're doing Aida!," she says. "It's an amazing show! This is once in a lifetime opportunity here!"

"I'll think about it." I say, in a final tone.

Poppy sighs again, but her small smile stays on. "Think about it all you like but you have to sign up by Wednesday. Think right! I have to go, Calculus is a calling, pray for me girl."

I put my hands together in prayer, "Go forth my child."

She walks out of the building laughing and waving back at me. I realize that Jasper is no longer at my side. I turn my head slightly to see that a couple of feet in front of me, right next to the theatre doors, is Jasper. No big deal I think, he's just reading a sign on the wall. I then see the pencil in his hand and realize he's holding a it up to this sign. It says, "Audition Sign Up" on it. He's holding a pencil to the audition sign up sheet. What!?

I try to walk over calmly but probably look like a spider scuttling to him. I feel like I'm going to trip over my legs I'm moving so jerkily. When I get to him I look at the sheet to see that he's just finishing writing my name.

He turns to me, twirling the pencil in his hands. "Surprise," he says, still able to sound confident in what is going to be a chaos situation.

"Is this a joke?" I say steadily, really hoping it's one.

He shakes his head. "Nope, drama is a serious business."

"I already told you I don't want to. What is wrong with you," I growl. I try to grab the pencil out of his hand, but he holds it above his head.

I go on my tiptoes only a little bit to get the pencil out of his hand. "You're too used to short girls," I mutter angrily, while furiously erasing my name. I then snap the pencil in his face and drop it to the floor.

"Leah, I didn't just sign you up," Jasper says, giving the paper a look.

I look for myself, and above my erased but still faint name is Jasper Hale. "What? Why?"

"I've been alive for a long time. I've done and seen most everything. I've always liked theatre, but never had the self control to try it for myself, until now."

"Well, don't worry. You're a natural. What a moving speech." I say, my hands angrily on my hips. "This is bullshit. You're just making me your pet project. First, pushing me towards Gavin, now this shit."

"Please Leah, I mean it. I want to feel the excitement of something new again," he says, his head level to mine. I don't like taking note of his golden eyes too much, they creep me out, but I do right now.

Son of a bitch, he's got me in his deep, sad, tragic clutches. I look away but then look back again. Yup, in the clutches. It used to be so easy to hate the vamps, but Jasper now has the ability to make feel bad for him. It wouldn't kill me to do this play, but if I do bad at the audition I'll hate myself. Then again, I could kick ass and put Amber in her place. It would be good for my transcript…

Jasper picks up the broken pencil from the floor, he gestures towards the sign up sheet and back at me. He can feel my stubbornness crumbling away. I groan and grab it from him, writing my name down under his, my writing fitting perfectly on the faded lines.

"I'll probably get stuck on stage crew, but it will look good for my transcript, and you'll be the lead most likely so I'll have to babysit you."

"Me? The lead?" he says doubtfully.

I put the pencil in my pocket. "Yeah, cause Mrs. Stevens wants you to bone her so bad…and you're very talented."

"I noticed the sarcasm there," he says, smirking in that way I now associate with him getting his way. "Then again, it's more of an accomplishment to know when you're not being sarcastic."

"It's a talent no one has yet to master," I say, as we start walking to exit the place. "I would stop looking so happy by the way. If the audition is Friday we've got to memorize our audition material."

We walk down the stone steps in a perfect rhythm. Jasper looks happy as a clam, while I'm as nervous as…an oyster. I can't believe I agreed to this. Jasper has a way of making me feel that way. I guess the thing is that Jasper often makes me do things I really do want to do, but don't have the gall to do. My general zest for life and excitement has dimmed. I want to be in this show, but I'm afraid of sucking. I don't care what people think, but I care what I think. I want to do amazing, but it's been so long since I've done this and I've never done it with so much talent. I'm afraid I won't measure up no matter how hard I try.

"Thinking thoughts?" Jasper says, handing me a motorcycle helmet. "You're not nervous are you?"

The way he says it, it's mocking but not mean. He knows I won't admit I'm nervous, but he also knows that by him prodding me, he's giving me my fighting spirit.

"Of course not. You should be nervous newbie. Those good looks will only take you so far," I say, grabbing the helmet and smiling devilishly.

He puts on his own helmet, but puts up the face guard. "They've gotten me to some nice places…like in your arms."

"Wow, good looks, bad lines," I sigh, only letting myself smile slightly before putting my face guard down. If he wasn't so obviously joking, I'd walk home. I've gotten used to the fact that on a semi regular basis I hold onto Jasper for an extended period of time. It's disconcerting.

Jasper roars his bike and we zoom out of the parking lot. I know most eyes must be on us, or at least him, like they always are.

I can't help but wonder what they see; a handsome guy and his average looking but way tall girlfriend. One ethereal pale with sun kissed blonde hair. The other a rustic brown with locks like the night sky. I think of our time together, and how lately, we're usually laughing. To everyone else it's normal, a young couple having a good time. To Jasper and I, and everyone else in our little society, it's anything but normal. My arms wrapped around Jasper...

it's a place he shouldn't be.

* * *

Hope everyone has a good weekend! And please review it gets me through my way stressful life and gets me writing. (=


	18. Announcement: I'm back and so is Maps!

**Hello all readers of Maps! Lovers of Halewater! This is not a new chapter. Sorry to dream boner kill you so early, but I didn't want anyone getting their hopes up. No, instead, this is a declaration/request announcement. Here are the main points of this thing:**** A. I am finishing Maps throughout this summer. B. I need a Beta reader. C. Hell yeah. **

**If any of these points interest you, please read on. If you have given up on this story because of my sucking, totally understandable. But, come ahhhhhn. Gimme a second chance! I won't let ya down! Alright enough groveling read on babes...**

* * *

Hello? Is anyone out there?

Yup, it's me. The girl who left her faithful, enthusiastic, and lovely readers with an unfinished story for 2 years. 2 years? I can't believe that much time has passed. I mean, I'm about to be a Senior in college…holy shit the real world is fast approaching! Anyways, enough of that, I want to finish this story. I have ideas for other Halewaters, but I can't leave this one unfinished. It's my baby and I love it! And I love all of you for reading it. So I gotta finish it.

I stopped updating because I just got so busy with school, work, friends, and just living life. There are two very different paths this story can take, and I just couldn't take the time to decide what way I'd choose. Why am I blah blah blah-ing here about all this? Because if anyone out there would still like me to finish, please let me know! It will push me even more to dedicate myself to this. But no matter what I'm back on board. So even if there are only a few readers left; I owe it to you to finish this!

Now here is my biggest and most hopeful request…I need a new beta reader! I loved dress up romance xxx , but I've lost all her information. So if anyone wants to beta for this story, please message me! I'm just looking for someone who is going to reply promptly with suggestions and edits. Also, someone who doesn't mind bouncing a lot of ideas. If you're a feminist that is a plus, it's where my heart is when writing this so keep it in mind. (=

I'm sorry if you got a new chapter notification and are disappointed to see just me talking lots of shit. Buuut have no fear Shakespeare! The two paths I see this story going are clear in my head and will be easy to write with a committed beta. I hope your summers are starting out good! Thanks to everyone who has read this! Your reviews and messages encouraging me to come back to this story have been amazing. Thanks again!


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